ABOUT          ROUND 1          ROUND 2          ROUND 3          COMMUNITY AWARDS          COMBATANTS          FIGHT CLUB 2022

"The first rule of fight club is... GIVEAWAY!"
                                                               Doc0075

ABOUT

The Fight Club is a GOG community event created and written by Doc0075 (*) as part of his generous annual Christmas giveaway. There are 114 participants, each providing a character with their special powers and weaknesses. Combatants face each other and winners progress to the next round.

Fights go like this: Doc rolls two 6 sided dice for each combatant, if you score 1 or 2 more than your opponent you will land a successful hit. If you score 3 or more than your opponent, you will land a knockout blow.

(*) NOTE: as of December 12, 2020 (starting with fight 36), Punington has helped writing some of the fights.

 ROUND 1

Day one - Dec. 06, 2020

Fight 1 - POGO vs Celia

First to enter the arena are (39) POGO from the left entrance. A hard to describe creature, it seems to walk, glide, slither and scramble across the floor all at the same time.

From the right enters (1) Celia, an Enchantress with mesmerizing eyes that she locks onto the abomination opposite her as she strides confidently into the room.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

POGO rolls 4

Celia rolls 4

POGO rumbles towards Celia with surprising speed, lashing out with one of its 6 attack methods, a stream of acid flying towards Celia's face.
Calmly the Enchantress uses her mind to teleport behind the... thing and unleashes a barrage of fireballs at what she guesses is its back. Alas, the fire has no effect and POGO turns to face its foe once more.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

POGO rolls 7

Celia rolls 9

POGO eagerly attacks, whipping a steel spiked tentacle towards its opponent but to its surprises the tentacle bends back round, lashing POGO's side as Celia stands and smiles. Ichor stains the ground by POGO's wound.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

POGO rolls 7

Celia rolls 4

With what is half a roar and half a gurgle, POGO shoots a gleaming steel spike from its body that catches Celia unawares, piercing her heart. She gives the monstrosity one last defiant look before slumping to the ground, defeated.

POGO leaves the arena triumphant to the cheers of the crowd.
Celia finds herself sitting at a table in the tavern of the vanquished. There are many empty seats around her.

Fight 2 - Blue Lightening vs Mõlhbëk

The crowd eagerly look to the right entrance as the gates open only to groan with disappointment as a small blue marble called (20) Blue Lightening rolls in. They turn to the left to witness the arrival of (88) Mõlhbëk. An imposing Cheetah-man with crab claws, the crowds spirits are raised again.

* DICE ROLL 1 *
Blue Lightening rolls 7

Mõlhbëk rolls 5


Mõlhbëk strolls confidently towards the marble, thinking to simply pick it up and slip it in his pocket. With surprising speed, Blue Lightening races forward under Mõlhbëk's feet who treading on the plucky little marble, slips over hitting his head on the ground.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Blue Lightening rolls 9

Mõlhbëk rolls 6

Blue Lightening quickly rolls back and up Mõlhbëk's claw before zipping off and landing in the Cheetahs open mouth, getting lodged in his throat. Mõlhbëk tries to reach in and dislodge the marble with his right claw but to his horror, the boxing glove gets in the way as his face turns a lurid blue.

Blue Lightening exits the way he came in as a confused crowd watches on. How did a simple marble win the fight?
Mõlhbëk appears in the tavern, even more confused by his defeat than the crowd are.

Fight 3 - The Bard vs Lifthrasil

A confident man enters from the left, book of prose in his right hand and a quill tucked behind his ear. (58) The Bard scans the arena for his opponents, ignoring the noise from the rabble in the crowd. Through the right gate enters (61) Lifthrasil, a huge four-armed Barbarian, more brawn than brains. The two polar opposites eye each other warily.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

The Bard rolls 10

Lifthrasil rolls 8

Lifthrasil races towards his puny opponent but is stopped in his tracks as The Bard flamboyantly recites Shakespeare causing the Barbarian to drop to his knees, head in hands.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

The Bard rolls 7

Lifthrasil rolls 9

With a roar Lifthrasil wrenches a corner of broken flagstone free from the ground and launches it at The Bard, catching him in the shoulder and stopping his recital dead in its tracks.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

The Bard rolls 10

Lifthrasil rolls 5

With a grimace, The Bard's booming voice echoes around the arena as he launches into a retelling of his favourite Charles Dickens novel. Lifthrasil stands open mouth as his brains seep out of his ears before collapsing motionless to the ground.

The Bard leaves the way he entered, smile on his face.
Lifthrasil awakes in the tavern, grumbling about bookworms and their word magic.

Fight 4 - Wumpus vs Rudolph

A puzzled murmur goes around the arena as a blue, bear/pig type of thing enters through the left gate. (113) Wumpus looks up with a big smile on his face.
Through the right gate enters (111) Rudolph, a huge red-nosed Reindeer with more than a hint of alcohol permeating the air around him.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Wumpus rolls 4

Rudolph rolls 7

Rudolph throws Wumpus a bright red present that the little blue guy unwraps eagerly. A Christmas jumper is inside which leaps out and wraps Wumpus in a magical hug, cuddling him into submission.

Rudolph exits right, looking for a stiff drink.
Wumpus is teleported to the tavern, curled up and fast asleep.

Fight 5 - Will and Smith vs Osen

Enter left (36) Will and Smith, a conflicted look on his face, axe in one hand sword in the other.
To face him comes (31) Osen a maleficent presence that seeks artistic perfection.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Will and Smith rolls 8

Osen rolls 5

Osen as Malware does, uses its infectious nature to enter the mind of Will and Smith, hoping to find an enlightened mind to amplify. Instead it finds a split personality that are constantly at odds with one another.
As Osen attempts to latch onto the perfectionist side of the personality, the Masochist looks to absorb the Malware, to use it for further suffering. Osen finds himself being torn in two by the conflicting minds of its host.

Will and Smith exits muttering to himself.
Osen reemerges in the tavern where it notice many exquisite sculptures and interesting characters abound.

Fight 6 - Koreskrocton vs Jack the Knack

(68) Koreskrocton enters the arena to gasps from the crowd. She notices a green humanoid dangling an arm over the side with what appears to be a cut on a finger and a little bit of BLOOD! Koreskrocton races across to the side of the arena and before anyone can react, she rips the green arm off, clean at the elbow.
The crowd goes wild calling for more.
Across the way a boxing kangaroo called (95) Jack the Knack watches with interest.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Koreskrocton rolls 10

Jack the Knack rolls 8

Koreskrocton fixes her attention on the tasty looking Aussie opposite her. To her opponents surprise, rather than charging in she launches a fireball that badly scorches old Skippy. Jack the Knack jumps up and down while trying to pat out the flames.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Koreskrocton rolls 6

Jack the Knack rolls 7

Koreskrocton charges at the smell of cooking meat but Jack the Knack leaps over the shark, landing a powerful kick as he does.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Koreskrocton rolls 6

Jack the Knack rolls 9

Seeing the bloodlust building in Koreskrocton and the crowd cheering her on, Jack the Knack uses his head. He leaps over the onrushing shark and up into the crowd before lashing out, boxing spectators left right and centre, leaving many with bloody noses and cuts.
Koreskrocton is overcome with bloodlust and launches herself into the crowd, tearing anyone in her path to shreds while the crowd half cheers and half screams in response.

The shadowy overseer decides to intervene while he still has a crowd left and smites Koreskrocton with a lightening bolt.

Jack the Knack pats himself on the back for his quick thinking and leaves the arena.
Koreskrocton finds herself in the tavern and promptly orders a Bloody Mary.

Fight 7 - Tim vs Kirthal

A robed wizard named (2) Tim enters from the left.
From the right comes (79) Kirthal an imposing Fire Drake.
Tim looks up at the Drake with smoke coming out of its nostrils and says "Oh bugger!"

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Tim rolls 5

Kirthal rolls 8

Tim unleashes hell on the Drake with Fire Strikes and Fire Balls raining down on it.
Kirtha smiles a big toothy grin "silly wizard, I am a Fire Drake after all!".
Kirtha lunges forward and in one fell swoop swallows Tim whole. A muted "Oh bugger" is heard as the wizard slides down into the Drakes gullet.

Kirtha exits the arena to cheers from the crowd, looking quite contented.
Tim appears in the tavern and promptly puts his elbow in an ale puddle. "Bugger".

Fight 8 - Lily vs Mr. Fiddlesticks

The ground shakes causing the crowd to hush in anticipation as (46) Lily, the three-headed cerberus demon dog enters through the right gate. She is greeted by rapturous applause and cheering from the crowd and wags her tail with joy.
A scruffy, middle aged man (8) Mr. Fiddlesticks enters from the left to snickers from the crowd, who see this as a complete mismatch. He gives all around and heart-breaking sad look.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lily rolls 8

Mr. Fiddlesticks rolls 8

Lily simultaneously bares her teeth while barking loudly as Mr. Fiddlesticks turns his sad face on her, both canceling each other out.

* DICE ROLL 2 *
Lily rolls 10

Mr. Fiddlesticks rolls 5


Lily lets out three momentous barks and it is more than Mr. Fiddlesticks can handle who curls up into a bedraggled ball, rocking back and forth in fear.

Lily leaves the arena tail wagging furiously.
Mr. Fiddlesticks is transported to the tavern and promptly starts annoying the other patrons by asking them for any spare change.

Fight 9 - Bug vs Natali

The crowd goes quiet in anticipation as the left gate opens. They look around in puzzlement as the gate closes again wondering where the combatant is not having seen (10) Bug enter.
The right gate opens and the crowds mood picks up as an impressive human/alien hybrid (97) Natali enters the Arena, scanning trying to find her opponent.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Bug rolls 6

Natali rolls 9

Natali stomps forward thinking her enemy to have some sort of cloaking device and doesn't hear the little voice in front of her "Hey, I'm over here!"
SQUISH
Natali looks at the sole of her boot "Oh dear" and promptly stomps back out of the arena.
Bug reappears in the tavern and goes about his business of landing on the rims of peoples drinking glasses as they try to shoo him away.

Fight 10 - Petaminx vs Pat Ronizing

(102) Petaminx (the puzzle) rolls into the arena and promptly lays flat in the middle waiting. (42) Pat Ronizing enters eyeing her surroundings, looking for any exquisite art to add to her collection.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Petaminx rolls 3

Pat Ronizing rolls 8

Pat Ronizing picks up Petaminx and solves his puzzle in 5 seconds flat. She snickers at how easy that was as she exits the arena with Petaminx voice in her head "Nooo, why couldn't I have faced one of the dumb-arse barbarians instead?"
Petaminx appears on a table in the tavern where Lifthrasil scratches his head as tries to work out where to even start solving the puzzle.

Fight 11 - Isidoro Galvan vs Aris

The chant of FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT rings around the arena as the right gate opens. In strolls the gaucho (86) Isidoro Galvan, guitar strapped to his back. He looks around the cold concrete pit and sighs. No help from mother nature here.
Through the opposite gate steps (56) Aris, a magician of some repute. The two stroll towards the arenas centre eyeing each other.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Isidoro Galvan rolls 3

Aris rolls 7

Isidoro Galvan unslings his guitar and starts to play rapidly, the music filling his body with power. Aris rolls his eyes and with a quick waggle of his fingers, shoots a ray of paralyzation that strikes the gaucho in the chest. Aris walks over and with a flick of his finger sends Galvan toppling to the ground.
The crowd are unimpressed with the quick fight and making their feelings heard, not that Aris cares as he leaves by the way he came in.
Isidoro Galvan finds he can move again but is in a strange tavern. This place could use some music.

Fight 12 - Michael Mustache vs Axela the lighthouse

(73) Michael Mustache the famous boxer bounds into the arena from the left. The crowd goes wild with many appendages dangling down autograph books to be signed. Michael Mustache is happy to do this, first having to wipe away many forms of alien mucus before he can sign them.
A deafening cacophony of cooing ensues from above and all heads look up to see (35) Axela the lighthouse in the sky above being carried by thousands of pigeons, her light the brightest they have ever seen.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Michael Mustache rolls 7

Axela the lighthouse rolls 5

Michael Mustache uses the heads of his fans as stepping stones before taking a great leap into the air and uppercutting 300 pigeons into oblivion. Axela the lighthouse lurches to the side alarmingly.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Michael Mustache rolls 5

Axela the lighthouse rolls 3

Michael Mustache on his descent back to earth he grabs hold of Axela the lighthouse and brings her crashing down with him.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Michael Mustache rolls 9

Axela the lighthouse rolls 9

Both combatants take stock of each other not sure exactly how a man and a lighthouse are meant to fight.

* DICE ROLL 4 *

Michael Mustache rolls 5

Axela the lighthouse rolls 8

Axela the lighthouse turns her light to shine full beam into Michael Mustache's eyes. He screams as his retinas burn before his brains bubble away behind them, collapsing to the ground.

The crowd go silent save for a few sobs as they view their hero lying motionless. Axela the lighthouse is lifted up again by her pigeons and goes merrily on her way.
Michael Mustache awakens in the tavern with a blinding headache.

Fight 13 - Diggy vs McCadbury

(3) Diggy the mole rat has entered the arena unnoticed, staying underground for now.
(5) McCadbury the tall purple humanoid walks in with purpose, looking for something to sate his sweet tooth.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Diggy rolls 7

McCadbury rolls 7

Diggy bursts forth and lunges for McCadbury's legs but he is ready and steps to the side just in time.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Diggy rolls 2

McCadbury rolls 7

As Diggy passes by McCadbury he is overcome by a strange aura, slowly turning into milk chocolate and puddling on the floor.
When there is nothing but a pool of chocolate left, McCadbury takes a large purple straw from his belt and proceeds to slurp it all up. "Mmmm, now that's good chocolate!". He then leaves the Arena.
Diggy finds himself sitting next to some weird blue pig/bear thing in a tavern, trying to lose the sensation of being sucked through a straw.

Fight 14 - Belphegor vs Skreetch Bonefoot

The crowd falls silent as Heavy Metal music booms from behind the left gate. It opens and in runs (15) Belphegor spinning his drumsticks to rapturous applause.
As the right gate opens in hobbles (6) Skreetch Bonefoot, a short-sighted goblin muttering "what is that racket?". He trips as he enters planting headfirst into the side of the gate "Nowf Ivve bitthh me tongueth". Minus 1 dice roll for injuring himself before the fight even starts.

* DICE ROLL 1 *
Belphegor rolls 6

Skreetch Bonefoot rolls 6 -1 = 5


Belphegor runs over to the decrepit goblin Skreetch Bonefoot and raps him several times on the head with his drumsticks, laughing maniacally. "Oowwff" comes the reply.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Belphegor rolls 7

Skreetch Bonefoot rolls 4

Belphegor having fun against his over-matched opponent jams one stick up the goblins nose and the other firmly between its buttcheeks, in spite of its protests of "oooh I say, that's a bit personal". He then proceeds to spin poor Skreetch Bonefoot round and round before smashing him into a pillar, leaving his body crumpled, lifeless next to it.

Belphegor exits to cheers of "EASY, EASY".
Skreetch Bonefoot appears in the tavern and promptly knocks over a large cheetah-mans beer.
"Whoops".

Fight 15 - Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (Dr. Stone) vs He Jin

(9) Grndrgnrrgrlbdr aka Dr. Stone enters stage left having decided to take the form of a large humanoid comprised of rock and metal. He surveys the baying mob calling out for blood and disapproves.
Opposing him is (98) He Jin, his magic noodles swirling around him like an evil extension of his body. Have I mentioned that He Jin has turned to evil? Yes, its true, he is EVIL.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Dr. Stone rolls 9

He Jin rolls 2

Dr Stone smiles a rocky smile and gently suggests that there is no need for violence between them just to satisfy these savages in the crowd.
He Jin grins and charges while laughing evilly, whipping his noodles around like an evil-noodle-whip thingy!
Dr Stone puts out a large rocky hand not wanting combat only to have He Jin inadvertently run into it, obliterating his own head in the process.
Dr Stone looks down at the twitching headless corpse by his feet muttering "oh dear" before slowly turning around and leaving the arena.
He Jin appears in the tavern, a steaming bowl of noodles in front of him.

Day two - Dec. 07, 2020

Fight 16 - Uzerumeral vs Vladimir

A new day, a new (equally bloodthirsty) crowd, new combatants.

In swoops (34) Uzerumeral to gasps from the crowd, the ancient gargoyle coming to rest on a pillar by the left gate.
That gate opens and a mist blows into the arena before taking form as (66) Vladimir, the vampire scans his surroundings.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Uzerumeral rolls 12 (our first roll of 12, yay!)

Vladimir rolls 6

Uzerumeral lands with a crash in front of the vampire who quickly swoops to bite the gargoyles neck. Not quick enough, Vladimir realises his mistake, his fangs merely scratching the surface of his stone opponent.
Smiling Uzerumeral slowly waves a small wooden stake in front of Vladimir's heart before jamming it in with supernatural force, the vampires mouth opens in a silent scream before turning to dust and falling to the ground.

Uzerumeral flies out of the arena, cheers ringing in his ears.
Vladimir is reborn in the tavern and finds a nice dark corner booth to brood in.

Fight 17 - Calad vs Og'rialt

The right gate is blasted of its hinges by a great magical force. (76) Calad walks purposefully in, a powerful wizard who is also handy with a short sword.
The opposite gate opens to reveal a sturdy Dwarf who goes by the name of (24) Og'rialt. Both combatants eye each other respectfully.

Before battle can be joined, the shadowy ringmaster stands and addresses Og'rialt.
"My spies inform me of treacherous thoughts entering your mind, dwarf. Such actions must be punished!"
Speaking a language long thought forgotten, the shadowy figure puts a curse onto Og'rialt that will see him score -1 on his first two dice rolls.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Calad rolls 6

Og'rialt rolls 8 -1 = 7

Throwing several fancy but ultimately pointless traps to one side, Og'rialt whips out one of his magical throwing axes and launches it at Calad.
Calad's spell of protection absorbs most of the damage but the axe breaks through to leave a nasty gash on the wizards right shoulder. The wound quickly begins to heal.
Og'rialt mutters something about wizards and their fancy-smancy spells.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Calad rolls 6

Og'rialt rolls 6 -1 = 5

Knowing that the Dwarf would be expecting a magical attack, Calad unsheathes his sword and rushes forward to land several stinging blows on his surprised opponent.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Calad rolls 2

Og'rialt rolls 6

Og'rialt snarls "you're not the only one with a few tricks up his sleeve! Morte, where are you buddy!?"
A tear opens in the air in front of Og'rialt from which appears a disembodied skull. Morte pipes up "Hey chief, longtime no see! Where are all the chits at?"
Calad watches open-mouthed
Og'rialt "I need a hand here Morte...", Morte "Is that some sort of joke chief? Cause I'm not sure I appreciate it!"
Og'rialt "Just take care of the wizard over there for me will ya?" Morte "You got it bossman! Hey are you shorter than last time I saw ya? Do Dwarves shrink with age?"
Og'rialt "JUST GO!"
Morte "Alright, alright, sheesh! Keep your beard on!"
As the bewildered wizard watches, Morte flies through the air to deliver the mother of all headbutts to Calad, leaving him sparko on the ground.

Morte "That's me done, chief. Next time you call me, make sure there are some ladies present to keep me company. The bonier the better!" Another tear appears in the air and the skull is gone.
Og'rialt saunters out of the arena.
Calad appears in the tavern still trying to work out what just happened.

Fight 18 - Griss vs Henry

(80) Griss the bio-engineered velociraptor darts into the arena eyeing up all around to assess potential weaknesses.
A rather nerdy looking man (59) Henry enters through the opposite gate. "Who called about a problem with their PC?"

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Griss rolls 5

Henry rolls 4

Griss uses his telekinetic powers to lift Henry into the air and fling him into a pillar.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Griss rolls 2

Henry rolls 6

The dazed Henry senses a ninja like presence behind and desperately rummages through his briefcase for something to protect himself with.
As Griss closes for the kill, Henry shoves his hands out defensively inadvertently sticking a slice of Hawaiian pizza into the velociraptors mouth. The pineapple topping causes Griss to retch repeatedly until he collapses exhausted.

Henry dusts himself off and leaves the arena.
Griss appears in the tavern with a bad taste lingering in his mouth.

Fight 19 - <censored> vs Lazarus the Lion

(110) <censored> enters stage left. The man has an aura of controversy about himself.
From the right comes (54) Lazarus the Lion to great cheers from the crowd.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

<censored> rolls 8

Lazarus the Lion rolls 3

Lazarus leaps at the man with a might roar but is caught off-guard when <censored> hairpiece launches itself from his head to intercept the lion. The orange hairpiece proceeds to get Lazarus in a choke hold and keep him there until the mighty feline passes out.

<censored> exits the arena feeling proud of himself.
Lazarus the Lion awakens in the tavern with a bowl of milk in front of him.

Fight 20 - Matilda Zendias vs Borzoi

(7) Matilda Zendias the mighty Minotaur alchemist enters the arena to cheers from the crowd.
(62) Borzoi the Dwarven sun soul monk enters behind the Minotaur, sun gleaming of his bald head.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Matilda Zendias rolls 6

Borzoi rolls 4

Matilda throws one of her trademark spheres at Borzoi who is too clumsy to get out of the way. His feet start to levitate but luckily he doesn't wear any armour to weigh him down so is able to shakily stay upright.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Matilda Zendias rolls 5

Borzoi rolls 9

Borzoi crosses his legs and enters a state of zen as Matilda readies to throw another sphere at him. Just as she is about to let go, the suns glare bounce of Borzoi's bald bonce to blind the mighty Minotaur. "Noooo!" she cries as the sphere breaks and spills its liquid all over her. She finds her feet lifting into the air while her armour weighs her down causing her to flip upside down.

Borzoi strolls out of the arena with Matildas cries of "Oh, you're just going to leave me like this are you? Well that's just great!".
Matilda Zendias appears in the tavern where she tries her hand at mixing cocktails.

Day three - Dec. 08, 2020

Fight 21 - Hodd Toward vs Generic Superhero

A nerdy looking man called (109) Hodd Toward enters the arena. He has a video game tucked under his arm and is wearing a t-shirt with the words 'Buy my game, it's awesome!' written on it.
Opposite is (106) Generic Superhero wearing the standard cape, underpants over a spandex onesy and sporting a 1950s haircut.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Hodd Toward rolls 6

Generic Superhero rolls 12

Hodd Toward starts his verbal assault "You can't approach me as I have kryptonite running through my veins and seeing how you are a rip-off of Superman, among others, if you don't bow down before me, you will perish at my hands".
"Also, buy my game, it's awesome!".
Generic Superhero isn't listening. He throws a batarang to trip up Hodd Toward before shooting a web from his wrist to ensnare him. He then runs in faster than the eye can see to deliver a punch that takes Hodd's head clean off his shoulders.
Generic Superhero chooses to fly out of the arena as he has seen another superhero do it before.
Hodd Toward appears in the tavern and starts a sales pitch about how good his game is.

Fight 22 - Terzek vs no_body

(93) Terzek the 4 metre long scorpion clatters into the arena. The crowd gets excited as this is the sort of opponent they love to see.
Confusingly, an identical scorpion enters through the opposite gate as (44) no_body takes the form of his opponent.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

no_body rolls 6

Terzek rolls 4

The two scorpions charge at each other choosing to grapple with their pincers. It is Terzek who comes off worst as no_body manages to snip off one of his legs.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

no_body rolls 10

Terzek rolls 3

Enjoying his time as a giant scorpion, no_body manages to get the better of Terzek and jam his stinger into the midsection, pumping his foe full of venom. As a coup de grace, no_body emits a powerful odour that smells just like scented candles.
Terzek can take no more and collapses to the ground dead.

no_body clatters out wondering who he will get to imitate next?
Terzek appears in the tavern with his fellow vanquished.

Fight 23 - Katmeleonpus vs Nevaro

The crowd sees a small, strange form enter through the left gate, or do they? Whatever it is seems to blend in with its surroundings as it moves. The creature in question is (72) Katmeleonpus. Part Siamese cat, part chameleon and part (the leggy part) octopuss.
The crowd are so intrigued by this creature that they don't even notice (82) Nevaro enter. A simple human adventurer, which is actually quite rare for fight club, he sidles up to one of the pillars and surveys his surroundings.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Katmeleonpus rolls 7

Nevaro rolls 7

As Nevaro stealthily circles round the pillar looking for his foe, Katmeleonpus is busy doing the same on the next pillar along. They actually pass each other, back to back, without realising.

* DICE ROLL 2 *
Katmeleonpus rolls 8

Nevaro rolls 9


Katmeleonpus spins around to spit ink at Nevaro but the human is quicker, ducking under the spit and managing to score a minor hit with his club.

* DICE ROLL 3 *
Katmeleonpus rolls 7

Nevaro rolls 4


Katmeleonpus shoots out her long chameleon tongue to wrap around Nevaro's legs and trip him up. The kitty-monster then races over to his face, her octopuss legs pumping for all their worth, and hacks up an inky furball spitting it into Nevaro's mouth.
The poor human gags and chokes on his own vomit as Katmeleonpus sits on his chest, cleaning herself.

Katmeleonpus slinks out of the arena.
Nevaro is in the tavern muttering that he is more of a dog man.

Fight 24 - Mafon vs Scott Arnold

(12) Mafon the human ghettoblaster enters the arena, waving his synthesizer arms around, blaring out 90s euro pop music.
(32) Scott Arnold also enters. A tall athletic man but with the air of importance that a job like a bank manager would give.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mafon rolls 6

Scott Arnold rolls 5

Mafon directs his arms towards Scott who finds that he is losing control of his body. What is this music that reverberates throughout me? It is so bad that it is actually good!

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Mafon rolls 6

Scott Arnold rolls 9

Mafon uses his arms, his "Polivoks", to destroy the pillar in front of himself with soundwaves, enjoying his dominance over Mr Joe average. He steps forward through where the pillar stood unaware that Scott Arnold has a trick of his own.
Scott takes the chance to activate his power of ‘event negation’, the ability to take an event that has just happened and
revert it back to the state that it was previously in.
As Mafon steps through the destroyed pillar, Scott negates that destruction and wills the pillar to reappear as it originally was. Poor Mafon is merged with the pillar as it reforms, a not very pleasant way to die.

Scott Arnold leaves the arena, humming some euro pop as he does.
Mafon resurrects in the tavern, "DJ is in the house!".

Fight 25 - Nexophorm vs Uncle Jimmy

(11) Nexophorm enters the arena, all misshapen with drool puddling at its feet. Many in the audience are repulsed by the creature. A few not so much, blowing kisses with whatever features pass for lips towards it.
Opposing is (45) Uncle Jimmy, a human with robotic parts after being injured while defending a banana plantation. "Damn, you ugly boy! Shame it's not a robot I am facing but doesn't look too much of a threat."

* DICE ROLL 1 *
Nexophorm rolls 8

Uncle Jimmy rolls 5


Jimmy strolls forward confidently unaware that he is facing the Universes equivalent of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Chuck Norris all rolled into one!
Nexophorm somersaults over the human with ease landing lightly on his misshapen feet, pivots and delivers 4 karate chops faster than the eye can follow.
Uncle Jimmy stands dumbfounded before collapsing to the ground, quite dead.

Nexophorm exits the arena after having gotten the phone number of an equally repulsive creature.
Uncle Jimmy appears in the tavern and promptly starts taking the one-armed bandit apart.

Day four - Dec. 09, 2020

The arena undergoes maintenance.

Some combatants take the day off, others train in anticipation for their upcoming fights, the rest -the fallen ones- remain in the tavern.

Day five - Dec 10, 2020

Fight 26 - Lupos vs The Living Vegetable

The warrior-wizard (19) Lupos enters the arena. With the ability to adopt the powers of any animal in his vicinity, he scans the crowd for likely candidates. There are a couple of pigmen, a walrus type of creature and a werewolf howling to his right.
Opposite enters (99) The Living Vegetable, aka Veggie. A huge vegetable with multiple limbs he looks for a target of his never sated rage.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lupos rolls 10

Veggie rolls 4

Veggie charges at Lupos firing razor sharp carrots as he goes. Lupos in response uses his wizardly powers to turn into a mist cloud and hovers around Veggie, softening his body.
Lupos can sense the Vegetables rage and moves away before adopting the form and power of one of the pigmen in the crowd. He knocks Veggie to the ground and voraciously starts eating him, working from the top to the bottom but ignoring the foul tasting limbs.

Lupos reverts to his original form and exits the arena with a loud belch.
Veggie is in the tavern and ready to pick a fight with anyone who looks at him the wrong way.

Fight 27 - Mr. Fluffy Death vs Ben, The Flywherever Mosquito

The crowd lets out a huge "Aaaahhhh" when (57) Mr. Fluffy Death enters the arena but are taken aback when the furry little hamsters bares its adamantium teeth.
There is an annoying buzzing sound that can only be (104) Ben, The Flywherever Mosquito.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mr. Fluffy Death rolls 8

Ben, The Flywherever Mosquito rolls 5

Mr. Fluffy Death feels a painful prick near its rear end and starts to break out in red blotches. The smirking Ben soon gets the shock of his short lived life though as Fluffy farts out an almighty cloud of DDT (insecticide) choking the Mosquito to death.

Mr. Fluffy Death leaves the arena while scratching at the annoying red patches.
Ben, The Flywherever Mosquito is in the humid bar, eyeing up the other patrons.

Fight 28 - Powerbomb vs Kyp

The crowd goes wild as (77) Powerbomb, the wrestler/real bomb enters the arena. He bows, lapping up the applause.
Across from him is an actual Cyborg called (29) Kyp, running frantically fast on the spot.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Powerbomb rolls 5

Kyp rolls 6

Powerbomb lunges for Kyp as he runs by but mistimes it. Kyp in return shoots lightening bolts into his foe setting his teeth to chattering.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Powerbomb rolls 12

Kyp rolls 8

Kyp does another run by, lightening dancing on his fingertips, confident smile on his face. This time Powerbomb is ready and grabs Kyp in a tight embrace. Powerbomb looks Kyp in the eye and says "tick, tock" before exploding with a mighty boom that rocks the arena to its core!
Little bits of both contestants are flung far and wide as the crowd look on in stunned silence. They soon start cheering though as they see the bits of Powerbomb coming together to form the wrestler once more. He takes a bow and exits through the right gate.
Kyp appears in the tavern and starts patting himself to make sure nothing is missing.

Fight 29 - Mechanizer vs MysterD

There is a presence in the arena as (40) Mechanizer, the sentient AI comes to play. Cries ring out from the crowd as one by one all the phone numbers and stored photos on their mobile phones are deleted. Mechanizer cackles evilly.
His opponent is (38) MysterD, a robotic ninja dragon who is so dismissive of the other contestants that he didn't even bother to give his creature a name >:(

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mechanizer rolls 11

MysterD rolls 5

Mechanizer laughs as MysterD fires shurikens at him. "I am impervious to physical attacks, fool!" bellows the AI.
The robotic dragon panics as he feels his systems being shutdown against his will. First his arms stop responding, then his legs sending him crashing to the ground. His brain is the last thing to close but not before the image of a software programmer grinning enters his mind, whispering bye bye.

Mechanizer wills himself to leave the arena.
MysterD appears in the tavern and is glad for the high ceiling.

Fight 30 - Gerald of Red Deer vs Pneuma

(25) Gerald of Red Deer enters the arena, two fishing rods slung over his right shoulder. He spots a Merman in a floating water capsule in the crowd and shies away from him. "Don't want to trigger my allergies, buddy."
Across the way is (37) Pneuma a complicated to describe character that it is best you read up on them yourself (post 41).
Gerald calls out "Hey buddy, any good fishing aboot?"

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 10

Pneuma rolls 5

I'm actually stumped how to play this battle out.
Pneuma considers taking the oxygen away from Gerald but is so overwhelmed by the would-be Fishermans story of his dreams to be a fishmonger if only he wasn't allergic to fish and his general Canadian friendliness, that in the end he just says "Sod it, you win the battle and may you one day fulfill your dreams."

Pneuma walks out of the arena and takes the lift down to the Tavern
Gerald of Red Deer says "What a nice guy, buddy" and leaves whistling a cheerful tune.

Day six - Dec 11, 2020

Fight 31 - Ami vs Lord Watchmaker

An ordinary little girl called (101) Ami skips through the left gate, doll in hand much to the bewilderment of the onlooking crowd.
She faces (89) Lord Watchmaker, a man with the ability to stop time. Plus he makes a pretty snazzy watch for those who are interested.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Ami rolls 10

Lord Watchmaker rolls 7

Lord Watchmaker strides towards the little girl bellowing "this will be like taking candy from a baby".
Ami talks to her doll "look Cynthia, a mean man has come to take you away!".
Cyntia's eyes glow a bright red and her head turns 180 degrees to regard Lord Watchmaker who remarks "What the...?" just before lasers erupt from the doll, disintegrating the man where he stands.

Ami skips back out of the arena singing "tralalalalala..."
Lord Watchmaker is in the tavern drowning his sorrows.

Fight 32 - Lemmy vs Choopa

(50) Lemmy the lemur, hideously disfigured after being experimented on by a mad scientist, enters the arena.
He is up against (49) Choopa a 6 foot tall, green fighting junglefowl.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lemmy rolls 6

Choopa rolls 3

Lemmy lets out a terrifying scream that wracks Choopa with pain. In retaliation Choopa unleashes a high pitched crow which triggers Lemmys madness.
A red mist descends on the lemur and he starts seeing things that aren't really there. He stops and stares into the crowd at a particularly fat man wearing an 'I'm with stupid' t-shirt, who fidgets uncomfortably.
Lemmy roars "I HAVE YOU NOW ELEXIS SINCLAIRE, NOW YOU DIE!". The fat man stammers "bu-bu-but I'm not Elexis! I'm Keith, from accounts!". Which is true as he looks nothing like the scientist that experimented on Lemmy.

It is too late as Lemmy has gone mad with rage. He launches himself into the crowd who scurry to get out of his way. Reaching Keith he tears into the poor man leaving him a bloody mess before throwing his corpse down towards the giant bird.
Choopa coos before tucking into the corpse, getting so full that he feels the need to fly to the top of one of the pillars and sleep it off.

Lemmy calms down and leaves the arena, muttering to himself "I don't think that was Elexis but I will find her and when I do, there will be hell to pay!"
Choops is coaxed down to the tavern with a giant fat ball.

Fight 33 - Slick Cat vs Karpo

A suave, smartly suited cat called (22) Slick Cat enters the arena, antique pistol on his hip. He trips momentarily under the influence of alcohol but manages to right himself before anyone notices.
Bounding into the arena from the right is the impossibly squat and muscly (100) Karpo, clutching a rock in each hand. Karpo doesn't bathe and as such smells. He smells really bad. Really, really bad.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Slick Cat rolls 11

Karpo rolls 3

Karpo leaps 30 feet into the air before crashing down in front of his feline adversary. He starts swinging while clutching his rocks - left, right, left again but the cat just sways to the side each time, avoiding taking any hits.
Slick Cat reaches for a button on his belt, saying "I don't have time for this daddy-o". Pressing the button, a sleek red sports car speeds into the arena, smashing into Karpo from behind and sending him flying out the other side.

Slick Cat hops into the drivers seat and says "Who's with me?". An excited, 20 stone female hamster-humanoid squeals with delight and clambers down into the arena before squeezing into the passenger seat of the car.
Slick smiles "Ooh-yeah, I like them big" and speeds out of the left gate.
Karpo is caught in a giant net and deposited into the tavern.

Fight 34 - Mother of All Mothers in Law vs Aestridr

A stern faced woman (33) Mother of All Mothers in Law enters the arena. She glares around the crowd and all male members wilt under her scrutinizing gaze.
Her foe is (88) Aestridr, warrior woman clutching a two-handed sword.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 7

Aestridr rolls 6

Aestridr starts towards Mother of All Mothers in Law but is stopped in her tracks by the harsh words that come her way.
"Your skirt is too short! What are you, a trollop? Don't give it away for free, make your man work for it! Your hair is too short, you need to grow a long fringe to hide your unsightly forehead."
Aestridr is young and inexperienced and feels her confidence draining away.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 7

Aestridr rolls 4

Mother seeing that she has the younger, prettier lady on the ropes decides to finish the fight. "You, harlot! Look at me!"
Aestridr razes her eyes to Mothers only to be met with a gaze that Medusa herself would be proud off. Aestridr's mouth hangs open as she is petrified and turned to stone.

Mother of All Mothers in Law saunters out of the arena cackling to herself.
Aestridr is in the tavern looking for some nice words to rebuild her confidence.

Fight 35 - SubSub vs Lyron

(19) SubSub the gaming mouse glides into the arena, pleased with how smooth its surface is.
(78) Lyron also enters, a long-time gambler who is rumoured to be the luckiest man alive.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

SubSub rolls 10

Lyron rolls 5

SubSub gets in Lyron's mind and telepathically nudges the alcoholic gambler towards a full bottle of whiskey that has mysteriously appeared in the arena. "Go ahead, you deserve it. You know the women find you irresistible when you've had a drink."
Lyron can't fight the urge, "he's right, i deserve a drink just for being so damn awesome" and proceeds to drain the bottle, staggering from pillar to pillar.

SubSub can sense the aura of luck that had surrounded Lyron evaporate into thin air. He launches his cable-whip at the gambler, wrapping it around his neck and choking him into submission.

SubSub glides back out of the arena.
Lyron is in the tavern, "anyone for poker?".

Day seven - Dec 12, 2020

Fight 36 - Tobi vs <character entry 5>

The doors of the arena open once again and the crowd roars with anticipation. Through the left gate, schrodingerely enters (47) Tobi, awkwardly silencing a good half of the public. "Wait, isn't this fella already dead?". A loud murmur begins to rise through the congregated when the right gate opens up with a thunder. "Allow me to explain!" yells condescendingly (60) <character entry 5> the book-lover. The crowd explodes, half of them following the others' lead and not wanting to look stupid. The fight is on.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Tobi rolls 7

<character entry 5> rolls 8

Tobi begins muttering the eldritch invocation of Cthulhu in an attempt to obliterate the arena and the whole world. Mesmerised by his adorable demeanour an "Awwww... he's such a good buuuooooy" begins to eco throughout the stadium. Everyone begins to fall under the spell of Tobi's gorgeousness when <character entry 5>, having read way too many books to fall for something so flamboyant, approaches Tobi peacefully, hits him on the head with an Edgar Allan Poe book, and says "here, here".
It's a hit! Understanding that the horrors within are far more scary than the horrors without, Tobi flinches before <character entry 5>'s lesson and Cthulhu materialises as a constantly-looking-at-the-horizon cute little meerkat .


* DICE ROLL 2 *

Tobi rolls 4

<character entry 5> rolls 4

Emboldened by his success, <character entry 5> attempts to repeat his literary strike but becomes paralysed by Tobi's hilarious laughter. Tobi gets ready to strike back but also finds himself "paradoxically" paralysed by his own hilarity.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Tobi rolls 11

<character entry 5> rolls 4

In just a second, <character entry 5> imperviously dusts the paralysation effects off, and flashing through all the knowledge accumulated by a life dedicated to books, he recalls where to find the perfect solution for this match. He knows the path to victory.
Concerned by <character entry 5>'s looks, Tobi reaches for his bat belt-like belt imbued with the powers of the deus ex machina plot device, whilst <character entry 5> uncovers another one of his books and opens it. On that moment, a torrent of acid jets off from its pages and completely melts <character entry 5> to a viscous splatter. His only weakness, his Kryptonite!
"There was a 50-50 chance of that working" says Tobi.
<character entry 5> materialises back in the tavern where there're plenty more people whose odds, just like his, didn't collapse into a fortunate reality.

Fight 37 - Mr. Nice Guy vs Todd Ler

The arena is looking pristine and ready for another match! Cheered by the public and on their way out, the cleaning crowd catch sight of a vivacious figure approaching rapidly. (26) Mr. Nice Guy, the next fighter, jumps at them with hugs and words of praise for a job well done. More cheers erupt, the crowd seems to already have crowned a favourite when from the opposite gate irrupts (107) Todd Ler, spinning into the arena. Hold your horses! Who said there was a favourite contestant already? Todd Ler's moves have captivated the attendants just as much as Mr. Nice Guy's demeanour!

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mr. Nice Guy rolls 10

Todd Ler rolls 4

Todd Ler takes the initiative, but realising he's listened to Kylie Minogue more than it's healthy to do so, he keeps spinning around unable to stop his initial momentum.
Mr. Nice Guy, who can't help but love all the small creatures, sees Todd Ler ambiguous and erratic moves and approaches the dazing figure who, just before fainting into the hard floor, is able to feel a gentle embrace, rocking him peacefully to sleep whilst singing: "Baby, baby, baby. You know you like it like this".

Todd Ler wakes up in the tavern. Suddenly realising the crushing impact that pop culture has had on his life, he tries to reach for something, anything! Wait, inside his pocket, he finds a small fair-trade chocolate bar, his favourite chocolate bar! Back at the arena, waiting for the next round, Mr. Nice Guy smiles and wishes good luck to all his possible next opponents.

Fight 38 - Lady Amatriciana vs Ooblex the Gooblex

The shadowy figure reclaims his seat in the arena.

Below the slight figure of (108) Lady Amatriciana enters humming a tune about cooking and towers leaning precariously.
Opposite (91) Ooblex the Gooblex, a large gelatinous blob oozes its way through the right gate.
Lady Amatriciana doesn't fancy dancing with this one but feels in the mood for some jelly and ice cream.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lady Amatriciana rolls 7

Ooblex the Gooblex rolls 12

Lady Amatriciana bursts into song but her charm is lost on the blob as it trundles on towards her. She casts Casserole's Beauty, a spell designed to appear as the enemies favourite dish. The problem being that she IS this enemies favourite dish and the spell has no effect.
Lady Amatriciana gulps as she realises that Ooblex has spread himself to cut off any escape. As the crowd cheers, the blob engulfs the unfortunate girl, quickly breaking her down and consuming her matter.

Not sated, Ooblex the Gooblex takes a detour on its way out of the arena to also absorb some spectators on the fringes of the crowd.
Lady Amatriciana appears in the kitchen of the tavern and starts looking for some veg to add to her casserole.

Fight 39 - iPeach the 12th vs Bena

(103) iPeach the 12th, a sentient iPad enters the arena hoping that things are resolved quickly before she runs out of power.
The skilled swordsman (55) Bena enters wondering what foe awaits him. He is puzzled by the appearance of iPeach but quickly decides that it must be a treacherous magic user trying to trick him and spits on the ground.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

iPeach the 12th rolls 11

Bena rolls 7

Bena charges in, sword raised while yelling "Death to all who wield magic!"
iPeach flicks through its apps before finding one of use. From her screen a flock of over-sized Angry Birds emerge dropping barrels as they go. Several strike Bena, knocking him to his knees.
Seeing that she is low on power (as usual), iPeach cycles through her apps to an adult dating site where the profile 'Hairy bear looking for love and more' climbs out of her screen and flings the battered Bena over his shoulder.

Bena looks around in panic as he is carried off, the mans shoulder hair tickling his nose, but thankfully appears shaking in the tavern before anything untoward can happen.
iPeach leaves to find a charger.

Fight 40 - Stamat vs Ben Kii Nobi

Flying from pillar to pillar is (112) Stamat the flying squirrel. He starts assessing the crowd, looking for good-natured souls who may have nuts and fruit on them.
Facing him is the Jedi/Battle Mage (41) Ben Kii Nobi. He uses a jedi mind trick on the crowd "you will cheer me on to win". The crowd slowly responds "we will cheer you on to win" and follow up with cheers of "Ben Kii, Ben Kii".

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Stamat rolls 8

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 7

Ben Kii Nobi locks eyes with the squirrel, preparing to overpower its puny mind with his Jedi awesomeness. Instead he finds himself checking his pockets to see if he has any nuts or bits of fruit, the rodents saucer like eyes imploring him.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Stamat rolls 7

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 5

Ben Kii Nobi digs some acorns out of a pocket and tears rolling down his face, prostrates himself in front of his furry adversary, praying that he likes them.
Stamat skittles down to the human and happily starts stuffing the acorns into his cheeks.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Stamat rolls 8

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 5

Ben Kii Nobi uses his jedi powers to pull all the fruit and nuts from the surrounding crowd, piling it up in front of Stamat.
He then leaves the arena in shame, head bowed, going to the lift down to the tavern.
Stamat cheerfully eats his fill before flying off with as much food as he can carry to hide somewhere for later.

Day eight - Dec 13, 2020

Fight 41 - Wren vs Silvyr Erric

A blood red sky frames the arena as the restless crowd starts chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!".

The rogue (30) Wren (just noticed we have two players called Wren) moves from pillar to pillar, adjusting their magical blindfold as they go. Their face changes from time to time to mimic a member of the audience.
They notice an elven mage (4) Silvyr Erric enter, taking great care to avoid the torches ensconced around the edges of the arena.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Wren rolls 7

Silvyr Erric rolls 11

Wren wills their magical sword to lengthen in size and starts to charge the mage knowing that their only hope is to get in close. Unfortunately, they trip over their own feet and face-plants into the closest pillar. Rogues and clumsiness are not great bedfellows.
Silvyr Erric chuckles at his dazed adversary and casts a spell to create a block of ice around their feet, freezing them in place. He considers finishing them off but instead shrugs and walks back out the arena.
Wren watches him leave despondently, before looking to the audience "Um, anyone want to pass me a torch?".

Wren appears in the tavern and warms their feet at the hearth.

Fight 42 - Quicktongue the Bard vs stealth arrow

Somersaulting in comes (74) Quicktongue the Bard who bursts into song much to the crowds delight.
"I'm here to bring this crowd much pleasure, through song and pain in equal measure. Brought here by our shadowy ringmaster, whose wit is as dull as grey plaster!"
Quicktongue notices a tall figure of shadow glaring down at him and clears his throat "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, bring out my most worthy adversary!".

In enters (81) Stealth Arrow an Elf with crystal blue eyes and a bow at the ready.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Quicktongue the Bard rolls 11

Stealth Arrow rolls 4

Stealth Arrow fires three arrows at the Bard who dances around them while singing "My song is on point, so let me anoint, this pleb with the tools of the Bard!". As his song finishes Quicktongue whips out his writing quill, writes the initials QB on Stealth's forehead before jabbing the quill through his eye and into the Elves brain.

Stealth Arrow's lifeless body collapses to the ground, twitching.
Quicktongue the Bard bows to his adoring fans and exits the arena with a flourish.

Stealth Arrow is supping a fine wine in the tavern.

Fight 43 - Rock vs Kayla

Time passes and the crowd gets restless waiting for the next combatant to enter the arena. Yes, there is a very large (18) Rock sitting in the middle but that can't be it, surely?
Swinging from pillar to pillar comes the dual pistol wielding purple monkey (13) Kayla. She stops just short of Rock and starts grooming herself while trying to think of what to do.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Rock rolls 8

Kayla rolls 7

Kayla cautiously approaches Rock and sniffs its surface. A tiny bit of toxic lichen that covers Rock goes up her nose causing her to fall back, gagging violently.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Rock rolls 4

Kayla rolls 8

Kayla angrily climbs back up a pillar before calling out "Ooo aaa ooo aaahaaahaaah!", hundreds of purple monkeys come swarming in, encircling Rock before following Kayla's lead and throwing their faeces at him. Rock is now known as Rock-covered-in-monkey-poo.

Kayla and her cohorts leave the arena following the rumours of a flying squirrel with a mountain of fruit.
Rock is sitting in the tavern, minus the poo.

Fight 44 - Lillith vs Fish

A little girl called (27) Lillith walks in through the left gate, twirling her pigtails.
Through the right gate comes (48) Fish, a half-orc berserker bedecked in glittering gems.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lillith rolls 7

Fish rolls 4

Fish grins and walks forward slowly towards the trembling little girl, two handed great axe at the ready.
Lillith stops trembling and smiles. She opens her mouth and lets out the most horrendous, earth-shattering scream that has the entire crowd covering their ears.

Fish staggers from pillar to pillar, blood dripping from his nose and ears before turning and slowly trudging towards the exit, muttering "give me Hags and Krakens any day of the week over that little monster".

Lillith skips merrily out of the arena.
Fish is in the tavern "can anyone else hear ringing?".

Fight 45 - Zonk vs Ugghh

A beam of light shoots down from the heavens to deposit a Martian disguised as a human (92) Zonk. He has chocolate around his mouth and crumbs down his front.
A stout caveman called (67) Ugghh come clumping in, club in hand.
"Ugghh smash. Then Ugghh eat. Then Ugghh SMASH!".

Zonk rolls 9

Ugghh rolls 5


Ugghh looks at Zonk "Me no like you face! Me smash! Then me eat!"
Suppressing a wave of panic, Zonk addresses the neanderthal "Eat you say? What exactly is it that you are going to eat my bone-headed friend?"
Ugghh replies "Me big hunter! Me have many dead foods in cave for winter!"
"Is that so?" and with a blinding flash Zonk is gone before reappearing seconds later, dabbing his mouth and looking rather more rotund than previously.
"Thank you for all the yummy animals you had stocked in your cave, Ugghh. I'm stuffed and won't be able to eat again for at least the next twenty minutes"
Ugghh looks at him open-mouthed. "Me foods all gone?"
"Yes old chap, all gone. Much appreciated. Now if you will excuse me, I must go get ready for lunch"

Zonk is beamed back up into the sky as Ugghh falls to his knees, tears in his eyes.

Ugghh is now in the tavern, one finger permanently up his nose.

Day nine - Dec. 14, 2020

The arena undergoes maintenance.

The first round is almost over. The tavern is getting crowded and the party is getting good. Some of the fallen fighters don't feel too festive, though, but their mood changes when it is announced a few lucky ones will be given a second chance and will make it to round two. Tensions rise as some combatants are too eager to prove they belong among the chosen ones and start picking fights with each other.

Day ten - Dec 15, 2020

Fight 46 - April Ryan vs UG

Purring, weaving in and out of legs and tentacles and other... things, the housecat (43) April Ryan makes her way through the crowd and into the arena.
(21) UG enters from the right, smashing his club into one of the pillars for dramatic effect. "Me UG. Me Stronk! Me Clever" He picks up a rock and starts banging it against his sloping forehead sending sparks flying. He holds a stick up until the sparks take hold and start a fire. "See, clever!"
April Ryan starts to read UG's mind but then thinks to herself, why bother?

* DICE ROLL 1 *

April Ryan rolls 7

UG rolls 11

A loose piece of string hangs down from UG's loincloth, mesmerizing April as it sways back and forth. UG rips of his lower attire much to the crowds disgust and waves them in the air "Kitty want string?" and throws them clean out of the arena, April Ryan chasing after them.
"Kitty no place here. Come back and me smash!" "UG want fight caveman. See who biggest club".

UG leaves the arena, knuckles dragging on the ground.
April Ryan is in the tavern with a bowl of warm milk, reading everyones minds.

Fight 47 - Celeste vs Mage Torvas

More purring ensues as the worlds tiniest kitten (51) Celeste, aka Paw-Oracle, enters from where April Ryan left. With an IQ of 999, Celeste is ever one move ahead of her opponents.
Talking of which... (96) Mage Torvas arrives in a puff of smoke, magical energy at his fingertips.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Celeste rolls 9

Mage Torvas rolls 3

Mage Torvas picks up Celeste by her tiny tail, ignoring the pitiful mewing noises. "What is this? Where is my real opponent?"
Big mistake, pulling on Celeste's tail is the trigger that morphs her from a tiny, cute kitten into a 200 ft tall kitten with attitude!

With a mighty meow, Celeste spins around looking for he who dared touch her tail but he is nowhere to be seen. Stepping back there is a wet squelch and she thinks to herself, whoopsie!
Celeste wipes the remains of Mage Torvas from her paw and steps over the cheering crowd and out of the arena.
Mage Torvas is in the tavern keeping a wary eye on the cat lapping at a bowl of milk.

Fight 48 - Joseph Rue Ella vs Hazaradam

A thin robed figure called (85) Joseph Rue Ella enters, being deposited by a twister that he had summoned.
Facing him is the stuff of legend, the one-eyed ghost rogue (64) Hazaradam.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Joseph Rue Ella rolls 8

Hazaradam rolls 7

Hazaradam fades in and out of physical form as she runs towards Joseph Rue Ella only to be swept up by a massive gale summoned by his will and sent crashing back into the far wall. With her one remaining eye, she glares at the wizard.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Joseph Rue Ella rolls 4

Hazaradam rolls 9

Joseph summons an Earth Elemental that places the wizard on its shoulders. Together they stomp across the arena towards their prey.
Hazaradam watches calmly, a slight smile on her lips. As planned, the ground gives way before the Elemental opening into a many spiked pit. The Earth Elemental is impaled but Joseph Rue Ella escapes harm as he is resting on it, just above the top of the pit.

Hazaradam's smile is full now as she flicks her wrists out to either side, sending daggers to cut ropes that are holding boulders in place atop two of the pillars. The boulders swing in to meet in the middle just above the pit with a sickening thud as Joseph Rue Ella's head is obliterated in the process.

Hazaradam bows and walks out of the arena.
Joseph Rue Ella is in the still unnamed tavern, taking a couple of aspirins.

The Shadowy figure gazes down feeling a bit peeved that someone had the audacity to tinker with his arena.

Fight 49 - 010110101001010101011101 (5A955D) vs Circuit

The shadowy figure leaves his position vacant once again. Seizing the opportunity, the sneaky stranger approaches the empty seat, hops on, and marvels at the view of the arena below.

Having temporarily left his position as the universe's CPU support, (14) 010110101001010101011101 the sentient RAM chip (AKA 5A955D to his friends) randomly accesses the arena through the left gate. On that moment, sensing a disturbance in the electromagnetic force, a movement of free electrons bursts in through the crackling right gate. (69) Circuit is here! But hey, wait a second, did nobody tell him that this tournament was "free of charge"?

* DICE ROLL 1 *

010110101001010101011101 rolls 11

Circuit rolls 3

Borrowing from his weakness towards positive charges, Circuit considers the negative approach instead. "I bet I can take you down! You look like someone who has latency issues!" he yells tauntingly.
010110101001010101011101 doesn't get it. Unable to understand wether that was some sort of trick or an uninformed statement, he shrugs and changing the subject, intentionally makes an affirmation sound as if it were an inquiry: "We don't have to fight if you don't waaaaaant?"
The power of reverse psychology proves effective on Circuit who, exciting his subatomic particles impatiently, rushes towards his opponent. He fell for it!
Too quick to even spare a thought regarding strategy, Circuit's body instinctively chooses Kung Fu Fighting as the most appropriate match for his speed of lighting. Wrong move! 010110101001010101011101, having recently been at the universe's matrix, knows Kung Fu! He predicts his opponents moves with ease, one after another tiring him down, and when the moment is right, absorbs Circuit whole!

A sudden jolt of energy overclocks 010110101001010101011101 who, always happy to bring a neutral charge equilibrium to the universe, leaves the arena and waits for his opportunity to process the data of another fight.
Circuit wakes up in the tavern unable to recall what just happened. Back to his usual self and taking good measure of the merry atmosphere, he happily begins to move around from table to table, charming the joint's guests with his magnetic personality.

Fight 50 - Mina vs Metälingus

Everyone is still trying to wrap their heads around a kung fu battle between a RAM chip and an electrical current when the next fight is announced. Wait, no one is coming in through the left gate! The crowd gets impatient, a few boos erupt. The sneaky stranger begins to rock uncomfortably on the borrowed seat, looking left and right in desperation. Just when he was about to jump out and begin running, the left gate opens up and Mina Han, a girl with a gift for tardiness, makes her appearance. Through the left gate, an angry-looking figure carrying an electric guitar emerges after a cloud of smoke, Metälingus the master of brütality, can't believe someone just followed Rock with the word uncomfortable.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mina Han rolls 5

Metälingus rolls 10

"Hey!" Metälingus roars, "Hey, you!"
Mina Han points her weapon of choice the meat tenderiser at the metalhead and, raising an eyebrow of annoyance, replies with a Windy Village accent. "You talking to me?"
Metälingus, having a soft spot for impertinence, decides not to eat Mina Han's head outright. "Yeah you! That meat tenderiser you're holding, it's made of METAL you know? Pretty cool if you ask me..."
The battle chef, who paradoxically is extremely impatient and who never asked him in the first place, rushes straight into action by casting Whirlwind and projecting herself on top of her opponents head. Riding the wind, she drops from the skies with a downward thrust strike aimed at Metälingus' skull and yells: "I never asked you in the first place!" But her adversary stares at her descending figure calmly, not moving an inch.
It's a hit!

A reverberating sound echoing loudly throughout the stadium explodes from the epicenter on Metälingus' head, disintegrating Mina Han in a split second. The huge shockwave knocks everyone off their seats and, for a short moment, there's only silence.
Slowly, the most resilient onlookers get back to their allocated seats trying to understand what just happened. But down on the arena, the metalhead is still standing on the same spot where he was before, looking impervious to any damage. "You fool. No METAL can harm the Metälingus", the master of brütality says whilst slowly rising his arms towards the sky and making the rock sign with his hands.
The crowd spontaneously bursts into a cacophony of screams as the ashen remains of Mina Han's figure are softly blown away, back to the skies, by a gentle breeze.

Back in the tavern Mina Han wakes up in front of a hearty feast. All around there're loud talks and laughter, and the smell of more delicious dishes to come envelops her in a comforting feeling. "This is pretty nice" she says after tasting her meal, "but let me tell you, it could use some more tenderising".

Day eleven - Dec 16, 2020

Fight 51 - H4096 vs Jafs

A quiet buzzing grows ever louder as (94) H4096 enters the arena. Comprising of 4,096 cyber hornets, they come from all directions before forming into the shape of a giant crab and doing some gymnastics to entertain the crowd.
Opposite is (16) Jafs, a regular human save for the ability to stop time for 10 seconds.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

H4096 rolls 8

Jafs rolls 9

The hornet-crab half scuttles, half flies towards Jafs but the human has other ideas. With a click of his fingers he freezes time before running behind the nearest pillar where he has hidden a giant fly swatter. Knowing he only has seconds to act, Jafs starts smacking away sending dozens of cyber hornets crashing to the ground.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

H4096 rolls 11

Jafs rolls 5

Unfortunately for Jafs, the destroyed hornets are quickly replaced with replicas. H4096 grabs him in its pincers, slicing him in half. It then proceeds to juggle the two halves much to the amusement of the crowd.

H4096 disperses and leaves the arena.
Jafs is getting drunk in the tavern.

Fight 52 - Eiden vs Random John Doe

(53) Eiden, a nimble hunter from a small village darts into the arena, crossbow at the ready.
Nervously, (70) Random John Doe enters from the right wishing he was sat at home in front of his computer. Seeing Eiden, john lets out a little squeal and hides behind a pillar.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Eiden rolls 8

Random John Doe 7

Eiden zips round the other side of the pillar, kicking John up the backside and sending him sprawling. As John tries to stand the hunter somersaults over him before sweeping his legs away from behind, sending him crashing back to the ground.

* DICE ROLL *

Eiden rolls 10

Random John Doe rolls 6

Eiden props John up against the pillar and puts an apple atop his head, "don't move" he says. Random John Doe wets himself.
Eiden steps back, takes aim with his crossbow and smiles. He lowers his aim and shoots Random John Doe in the left eye, dropping him dead to the ground.

The crowd erupts with joy and Eiden bow before sprinting out the left gate.
Random John Doe is in the tavern playing on the arcade machine.

Fight 53 - Cicada Buzz vs Peagor

(52) Cicada Buzz the anti-social, pizza loving, puzzle expert enters the arena.
Leaning against a pillar is (65) Peagor, a 12 cm tall PEZ dispenser/ cork gun hybrid.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Cicada Buzz rolls 5

Peagor rolls 5

Cicada Buzz walks forward towards the far gate looking for his opponent.
Peagor yells out "Oi, where do you thing you're going!?" Before shooting a chick pea and bouncing it off the back of Cicada's head to get his attention.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Cicada Buzz rolls 11

Peagor rolls 2

Cicada Buzz wrinkles his nose at a nasty smell and spins around to spot Peagor glaring up at him. "You know, I'm feeling a wee bit peckish". Cicada grabs the protesting PEZ dispenser and jams it into the middle of a pizza pocket. Peagor tries to find an opening through all the cheese and tomato sauce to open fire but instead screams in pain as Cicada crunches down.

Cicada wipes his mouth, proclaiming "that was some good pizza" before walking out of the arena.
Peagor is in the tavern firing chick peas to try to keep an annoying mosquito away.

Fight 54 - Electroman vs Loxyklokyytx

Black clouds gather over the arena sending lightening bolts crashing to the ground. When the smoke clears, (83) Electroman is stood in its place.
He faces (90) Loxyklokyytx an alien assassin with the involuntary power to instantly swap places with his enemy.
Loxyklokyytx raises the middle three fingers of his seven fingered hand towards his opponent, which is a very rude gesture for his species.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Electroman rolls 4

Loxyklokyytx rolls 9

Electroman snarls and calls forth the black clouds again, directing all their combined lightening towards the area where his alien foe stands. The lightening smashes the pillar in the target area, chunks of masonry crushing the hapless creature below.
That creature being Electroman himself as Loxyklokyytx swapped places just before the lightening struck.

The Alien assassin looks at the bloody remains, snickering, before leaving the arena through the left gate.
Electroman is in the tavern, electricity dancing around him, hoping to zap an annoying mosquito that has just bitten him.

Day twelve - Dec 17, 2020

Fight 55 - Mr. Chip vs King Nev

The crowd calls out for blood, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the next combatants. With a groan the left gate opens and in waddles (71) Mr. Chip, a Dachshund dog, tail wagging like crazy. The crowd mellow immediately, enchanted by the cute little doggy.
Through the right gate stoops (63) King Nev, a kindly giant who turns his blue eyes towards the crowd. They in turn have never felt more at ease with themselves than this very moment.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mr. Chip rolls 11

King Nev rolls 8

Mr Chip runs up to King Nev, yapping happily with his tail wagging furiously. The giant looks down with a smile "I could never hurt you little doggy". He drops a large bone next to Mr Chip and calmly makes his way down to the tavern.
Mr Chip grabs the bone that is nearly twice his length and drags it out of the arena, tail never stopping wagging.

A shadowy figure has his head in his hands, rubbing his temples "give me strength".

Fight 56 - Malicia vs Wren

Leaping through the gate, black, sleek and the size of a horse, is (87) Malicia a three-headed cat/hydra.
An 11 year old girl (114) Wren wanders in grinning, currently dressed as a ninja.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Malicia rolls 7

Wren rolls 7

Malicia pounces forward, all three heads lunging for Wren but the little girl is alive to the danger and drops a smoke bomb giving her time to get to a safe distance.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Malicia rolls 6

Wren rolls 4

Malicia quickly leaps after Wren and with a swipe of her paws destroys the ninja costume. With an 'Eep' Wren quickly changes into another costume, this time Top Banana.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Malicia rolls 10

Wren rolls 5

Malicia intercepts the costume change, her two outside heads tearing apart the outfit while the middle head grabs Wren and swallows her whole. Inside the beasts stomach, Wren remarks "Eeew, smells like a Repugnian's armpit in here!"

Malicia saunters out of the arena, one of her heads licking its lips.
Wren is in the tavern cooking marshmellows over the fire.

Fight 57 - ninja golem vs Jason "Jennifer" Lee

Stomping into the arena comes (28) ninja golem. Clumsily, he attempts to hide behind the nearest pillar knocking a chunk off in the process.
Facing him is the naked mall rat (23) Jason "Jennifer" Lee, shamelessly showing of his goods as he slouches at the arenas edge looking for a food cart.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

ninja golem rolls 5

Jason "Jennifer" Lee rolls 8

Jason rubs his rumbling belly, not exactly sure what he should do. He casts nervous glances behind in case Kevin James on a Segway should turn up.
ninja golem sees this as a chance to show how stealthy he is. He decides to do a forward roll to within striking distance of the nude boy but gets it all wrong. Instead the golem trips and crashes into the crowd, destroying a sizeable section of seating and killing numerous screaming audience members.

ninja golem oblivious to the death and destruction around him looks to see how close he is now to Jason "Jennifer" Lee. Pleased that he has narrowed the gap, ninja golem goes for a back flip followed by a roundhouse kick. Instead he simply falls flat on his back crushing many more spectators.

The shadowy ringmaster sighs, deciding that the golem is too much of a liability and must be removed from the fight while there is still an arena left. With a click of his fingers he sends ninja golem to the tavern where it tries to blend in with the shadows.
Jason "Jennifer" Lee shrugs and shuffles back out the way he came in.

December 18 to 20, 2020

As round two approaches, seven fallen combatants have been brought back from the tavern by popular demand. These are the chosen ones:

(43) April Ryan
(1) Celia
(41) Ben Kii Nobi
(76) Calad
(6) Skreetch Bonefoot
(75) Mina
(31) Osen (won in a dice roll with Mr. Fiddlesticks)

ROUND 2

Day one - Dec. 21, 2020

Fight 1 - Celeste vs Og'rialt

The arena having been repaired following ninja golem's destructive antics, the crowd take their seats eagerly awaiting the first fight.

Through the left gate comes the tiny kitten (51) Celeste, speeding into the arena before stopping to lick its paws adorably.
From the right comes the Dwarf (24) Og'rialt, eyes darting left and right taking stock of the situation.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Celeste rolls 8

Og'rialt rolls 10

Og'rialt cautiously approaches the kitten having seen its sudden growth spurt in the previous round. As he gets close he whips out a ball of yarn from behind his back and dangles it in the air. Celeste excitedly runs for the yarn, her one true weakness, but as she gets close Og'rialt pulls it out of her reach and she instead runs into the pillar behind with a little "mew".

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Celeste rolls 6

Og'rialt rolls 9

Celeste chides herself for her momentary weakness and spins to face her foe. The Dwarf is nowhere to be seen but the ball of yarn hangs motionless in the air. "Must... resist... yarn..." it is no good, Celeste can't help herself and charges forward to grab the yarn ball with her tiny paws. As she does, six sides of pure energy zoom in to form a box around her.
"YES!" shouts Og'rialt, "I knew one of my traps would come in handy at some point. I've only been waiting 23 years for it to happen."

Og'rialt leaves the arena feeling quite proud of himself.
Celeste is chasing a ball of yarn around the tavern.

Fight 2 - Mother of All Mothers in Law vs April Ryan

The crowd falls deathly silent, many of the male occupants not daring to look the next combatant in the eye.
(33) Mother of All Mothers in Law enters tutting at a gelatinous blob that is dripping slime down the side of the arena wall nearest her. She fixes a hateful glare on the pitiful creature which slides backwards and under its seat.
Opposite enters the mindreading housecat (43) April Ryan. From the collective conscience around her she feels the fear and loathing towards her foe.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 8

April Ryan rolls 3

Mother of All Mothers in Law regards the cat with contempt. "What are you doing out of your house? Who is looking after your kittens? That is your responsibility and instead you are here strutting around like a cheap whore, offering yourself to all comers! Hussy, I smell your cheap perfume, you should have settled down by now instead of throwing yourself at sailors and other delinquents!"
April Ryan curls up into a ball, shivering, wishing she was back in the tavern with a nice bowl of warm milk. Her wish is granted and she lets out a loud sigh at being away from that horrid woman.

Mother of All Mothers in Law makes her way towards the exit grabbing a young, purple woman on her way. "Button up that top, have some self respect or I'll come back for you." She cackles as she leaves the arena.

Fight 3 - Generic Superhero vs Silvyr Erric

The atmosphere is still tense when a string of spider web shoots out to attach to one of the pillars and in swings (106) Generic Superhero. The crowd cheers remembering his exploits from the first round.
Facing him is the ice mage (4) Silvyr Erric who pipes up "you may have many superheroes strengths but I'm guessing that means you also have many of their weaknesses".

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Generic Superhero rolls 5

Silvyr Erric rolls 5

Silvyr Erric raises a hand and sends long shards of razor sharp ice flying towards his opponent. Generic Superhero in turn raises his own hand and commands the ice shards to spin around and fly back the way they came.
Growling, Silvyr Erric forms a protective sheet of ice in front of himself that his missiles smash into, breaking apart.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Generic Superhero rolls 8

Silvyr Erric rolls 5

Generic Superhero smiles, "It's one thing knowing my weaknesses and another actually exploiting them" he flies towards Silvyr Erric and then faster than the eye can follow, zooms around the mage again and again and again an infinite number of times.
For Silvyr Erric, the world becomes a blur as he feels himself being torn through time. When the spinning stops he finds himself stood in the tavern, 12 years old and with his robes hanging loosely about him. "What the hell!" he exclaims, bewilderment on his face.
Generic Superhero dons his cape and flies out of the arena, cheers following him all the way.

Fight 4 - <censored> vs Tobi

A large man with unnatural hair (110) <censored> enters the arena. He is muttering under his breath, referring to himself in third person.
Across the arena is a man of beauty (and doesn't he know it) (47) Tobi, walking while also admiring himself in a mirror and stroking his belt.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

<censored> rolls 8

Tobi rolls 5

<censored> advances on Tobi "Look, your appearance - my nephew is also very handsome, good genes, very good genes, very tall - you know, that belt is a nice belt. My belt is the best belt, my belt will make america great again - you're a good looking man but you - I was also, am also, a good looking man. The ladies would fall over me, so I would grab them by the..." Tobi interrupts "ENOUGH! Jeez, you would give Cthulhu himself a headache! Talking of whom..."

Tobi smiles and presses down on his belt and the ground splits before him. Out crawls the Lovecraftian horror, Cthulhu.
"This won't take long" he gloats.

<censored> looks nonplussed "Your pet is nice - my pet is nice too. My pet is the best pet, 110% pure American pet better than any other pet."

As Cthulhu advances, <censored>'s strange orange hair springs off his head, leaping into Cthulhu's mouth and makes its way to the creatures brain. Cthulhu thrashes around in agony as the sentient wig takes control of its mind and body.
Cthulhu turns to look at Tobi who backs away open-mouthed.
Cthulhu lunges forward, grabbing the screaming man and heads back into the fissure it emerged from, which closes behind it.

<censored> with his wig magically reappearing on his head, waves to the crowd before slowly walking out of the left gate of the arena.
Tobi is brooding in the tavern, smelling slightly of sulphur.

Fight 5 - Gerald of Red Deer vs Uzerumeral

The crowd are in good spirits following the performance of the man with the orange hair. They look to the gates to see who will be next.

A tall, smiling Canadian enters with two fishing rods slung over his left shoulder. He looks up to the crowd "How ya doing?". It is hard not to like this man and that is reflected in the audiences response.
Through the right gate swoops the ancient Gargoyle Uzerumeral, grinning evilly as it appraises its opponent.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 7

Uzerumeral rolls 8

Uzerumeral swoops down, grabbing for Gerald tearing the Canucks shirt and coming up with a fishing rod in its claws.
"Jeez, if you need to borrow a rod just ask buddy!"
Uzerumeral snorts and snaps the fishing rod in half, letting it drop to the ground.
Gerald is not pleased "Hey, what's that all aboot buddy? You know what pal? You're a dick!"

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 10

Uzerumeral rolls 5

Gerald starts smiling "Ah, nevermind you hoser, we can still be friends, buddy!" "I managed to find a lake to go fishing in, water was red mind, what's that all aboot, eh? Anyways, i managed to fish this up."
Gerald holds up a sparkling amulet.
Uzerumeral gawps in horror as he recognizes it as the amulet of control his master crafted many centuries ago.

Gerald holds the amulet in front of his face - "I think my friend there would look great sitting atop my cabin porch, eh?"
There is a loud squawk and when Gerald looks up, the gargoyle is gone. Gerald shrugs, places the amulet around his neck (it's warmer than before) and waves to the crowd before leaving the arena.
Uzerumeral is in the tavern shaking snow from his body and cursing knuckle-headed Canadians.

Day two - Dec. 22, 2020

Fight 6 - H4096 vs Blue Lightening

A familiar buzzing fills the arena as (94) H4096 swarms in. Spectators instinctively cover their drinks and sticky treats as the cyber hornets gather in the middle to form a giant ball.
Rolling in to face them is this years surprise contender, (20) Blue Lightening. The marble rolls into the arena and then stops, as marbles tend to do.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

H4096 rolls 6

Blue Lightening rolls 4

The ball of hornets moves forward to engulf the little marble, sucking it up into their maelstrom. Blue Lightening is smacked around between each hornet receiving several chips to its smooth surface.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

H4096 rolls 4

Blue Lightening rolls 7

Unbeknownst to H4096, their tactic plays right into Blue Lightening's hands (figuratively speaking). The little marble uses the momentum of being knocked around to turn the inside of the ball of hornets into its own personal pinball table.
Blue stops taking damage and starts dishing it out as he smashes from hornet to hornet building momentum as he goes.
Hornets are sent flying from the living ball left right and centre, getting smashed too quickly for the hive mind to replace them.

With over half of its hornets gone and no sign of the marble slowing down, what is left of H4096 disperses from the arena and regroups in the tavern. It sits buzzing in a corner and everyone keeps well away from it.
Blue Lightening rolls out of the arena to get its surface buffed and smoothed out.

Fight 7 - Mechanizer vs McCadbury

The crowd looks at the list of fights to see who is next. Panic breaks out as they see that (40) Mechanizer the sentient AI is up and they remember him deleting their phones memories last time. There is a stampede as three quarters of the audience rush out of the arena.
A sentient AI smiles to itself.

The purple being called (5) McCadbury enters, appearing to be taller than before. He twirls his moustache as he surveys the emptying arena.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mechanizer rolls 9

McCadbury rolls 9

McCadbury can feel a smirking presence around him, as Mechanizer searches for electrical devices to mess with.
McCadbury has none but also cannot use his aura as Mechanizer lacks a physical form to turn to chocolate.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Mechanizer rolls 7

McCadbury rolls 10

McCadbury starts stomping his feet and throwing his hands to the air as he remembers the ancient ritual of cleansing he read about on the back of a Cadburys Caramel bar.
Mechanizer starts screaming in protest as the spirit of the bored programmer that created it feels himself being pulled from the AI and taking a physical form.

A naked and confused human stands in front of McCadbury who smiles and lets his aura do its job. Mechanizer wails as he slowly melts into a pool of dairy milk chocolate.
The purple one smiles, pulls out his straw and promptly slurps all the chocolate up. "Yummy!"

McCadbury walks out of the arena seeming to be taller than when he entered.
Mechanizer is an AI presence in the tavern but no longer malevolent.

Fight 8 - Henry vs Kayla

(51) Henry the IT guy enters the arena. He blushes and turns away as a four-armed, 7 foot tall amazonian woman smiles at him.
Monkey calls ring out around the arena as hundreds of purple primates take their places among a nervous crowd. The cacophony reaches a raucous crescendo as their queen (13) Kayla swings into action.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Henry rolls 11

Kayla rolls 6

Kayla whips out her pistols and opens fire but she is blown backwards as someone has jammed acorns into the guns causing them to explode. Kayla curses squirrels everywhere and vows to hunt down the flying varmint she knows is responsible for the sabotage.

Henry advances but is not much of a fighter and doesn't know how to proceed. Kayla smiles and charges to grab the IT guy and wrestle him to the ground. She wraps a strong arm around his neck and starts to choke the life out of Henry.
She is so intent on her victory that she doesn't hear the warning cries from her fellow monkeys. The next thing she knows she is being swung round by a giant amazonian woman by the tail who promptly flings her out of the arena into the night sky.

The amazonian picks up the battered Henry and tosses him over her shoulder before heading purposefully towards the exit. Henry whimpers "help".
Kayla is grooming the multitude of cats in the tavern.

Fight 9 - SubSub vs POGO

(17) SubSub the telepathic gaming mouse rolls into the arena, freshly charged and ready for action.
The monstrosity that is (39) POGO enters, half slithering, half crawling.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

SubSub rolls 7

POGO rolls 6

SubSub speeds along the smooth ground before lashing out with its cable-whip, wrapping it around what it assumes is POGO's neck and yanking the creature over backwards.

* DICE ROLL 2 *
SubSub rolls 7

POGO rolls 10


SubSub zooms round and round his stricken foe triumphantly, taunting the creature like a sketch from Monty Python.
POGO gurgles/roars and slaps a tentacle down charging the ground in front of the mouse with 99,999 volts of electricity.
The charge surges through SubSub and causes him to lose control. SubSub shoots up one of the pillars faster than the eye can see and flies off into the sky to join the stars above.

POGO rights itself and makes for the exit as the crowd cheers their approval.
SubSub has come down from the stars to speed around the tavern floor.

Fight 10 - Mr. Fluffy Death vs Calad

Lots of Ooos and Aaahs (as well as a few 'kill the fluffy little *&$*#&!') ring out from the crowd as (57) Mr. Fluffy Death enters the arena, his flatulence now under control.
Across the way comes (76) Calad the young, white haired sorcerer. Unusually for one of his ilk, he also carries a sword and shield. He eyes the hamster nervously, noticing it gnashing metallic teeth.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Mr. Fluffy Death rolls 5

Calad rolls 10

His cybernetic legs pumping, Fluffy rushes in for the kill. With a panicked "Eep!" Calad quickly casts Mirror Image creating 3 illusions of himself and just in the nick of time. Fluffy tears through one of the images gnashing away with his adamantium teeth.
Calad hits the hamster with an ear-splitting localized sound blast. Fluffy staggers but spins around and lunges for the kill. Calad thanks his lucky stars as another of his images is torn to shreds.
The sorcerer hits the hamster twice more with sound blasts and it is more than the rodent can take. Mr Fluffy Death lies on his back, legs twitching and drool running down his very chubby cheeks.

The shadowy figure is sad as he has a soft spot for death-dealing hamsters.

Calad dusts himself off, takes a deep breath and leaves the arena appreciating the cheers from the crowd but also noticing the shadowy ringmaster glaring at him.
Mr. Fluffy Death is in the tavern, showing his teeth to any cat (or cat-person) that gets too close.

Day three - Dec. 23, 2020

The arena undergoes maintenance.

Day four - Dec. 24, 2020

Fight 11 - Belphegor vs Lupos

None could tell why the ringmaster's tribune was vacant once again. Certainly, those leaflets scattered around it which read "Only today: Death-dealing hamster amusement park" had nothing to do with that eventuality. Being as it may, and hoping that no one would mind rather than notice, the sneaky stranger approaches the overseer's position and makes himself at home just in time to witness the the opening of the next fight.

***

If there had ever been love between man and a piece of wood, none would have dared to say theirs was deeper than what (15) Belphegor felt for his drum sticks. The lover, the drummer, the next fighter, enters the arena followed by cheers from his devoted groupies.
His opponent, the name of eagerness, had been waiting for a chance to show the world how detrimental specialised roles are for society. (16) Lupos, the warrior-wizard with the skill to borrow powers and abilities from nearby animals; Lupos, the warrior-wizard against stereotypical builds, makes his appearance wearing a magician’s hat and a chainmail, fascinating everyone with his multifaceted disposition.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Belphegor rolls 7

Lupos rolls 8

Wasting no time, Belphegor attempts to incapacitate his adversary by throwing drum sticks aimed at his eyes. As if they were shurikens, a bunch of wooden projectiles fly in a split second towards Lupos' face.
They connect! But wait a second, the sticks are stuck in a sticky surface! Impassive, Lupos the warrior-wizard reaches for one of his pockets revealing a hello-kitty tupperware with a snail inside it. Picking up the wooden weapons from his slimy face and unfolding his now gastropodic eyes, Lupos senses his opportunity and flings the drum sticks towards Belphegor's crotch making him kneel down in pain.
The crowd can't believe what's going on, an adept warrior with a love for hello-kitty paraphernalia, how's that for an eye opener? Lupos smiles, happy to have broken another stereotype.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Belphegor rolls 8

Lupos rolls 9

Belphegor is still recuperating from his injuries when his adversary takes the initiative, well, sort of... Wanting to finish the fight quickly but forgetting he's borrowing the abilities of a snail, it takes Lupos around an eternity to make it halfway to the drummer. By that time, Belphegor, fine and dandy and knowing his advantage in speed, circles around the warrior-wizard rushing towards his back so quickly, so swiftly, and so unable to notice the trail of slime, that he ends up loosing his balance falling to the floor and breaking a drum stick. Ouch!
Lupos is not happy about this stereotypical development and reverts back to his usual self, this time adopting a smug wizardry stance.

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Belphegor rolls 6

Lupos rolls 9

In tatters, Belphegor stands up once again. His stoicism and determination resonate around the arena gathering a loud response from a bunch of onlookers wearing the drummer's merch. "Bel-phe-gor! Bel-phe-gor!" they cheer, and Belphegor's heart begins to beat at that same cadence. "Bel-phe-gor! Bel-phe-gor!” a second wind overtaking him, resolution and energy oozing from his whole being. This time the drummer dashes directly towards his opponent, gripping a new pair of drum sticks precisely at the fulcrum point, and castigating the warrior-wizard's body with rhythmical beats.
"Not, not quite my tempo" interrupts Lupos apparently immune to the damage dealt.
Belphegor's concentration breaks in an instant. "Wait, what?" he answers.
Lupos reaches under his magician’s hat and under his chainmail unveiling both an Owl and an Armadillo.
"Yep, not quite my tempo. Believe me, I know, now I’ve got a very good sense of hearing mate" says the smug wizard (and also a warrior), and leaving both animals at a safe distance, begins clapping his hands together whilst saying: “Here we go: five, six, seven..."
Belphegor suddenly feels compelled to try again under Lupos' patronising look and set pace, but he hasn’t even begun to lash out the beating when he is interrupted once more.
"Not... Not quite my tempo. It's all good, it's all goooood... No worries. Here we go: five, six, seven…”
Belphegor tries again and again to no avail, sometimes rushing, sometimes dragging, there’s no way of pleasing Lupos’ acute hearing. The crowd averts their eyes ashamed of such horrific display of torture.
“Ok, once again, let’s g…"
No, there isn’t once again anymore. Exhausted and out of resources, having dedicated his whole characterisation to being a drummer and not being able to deliver as expected, Belphegor's heart breaks in sorrowful silence after having withstood so much damage. The drummer falls, his last beat that of his body collapsing onto the arena’s floor.
“Shame, he almost had it.” says Lupos as he picks his animals and his hello-kitty tupperware back up and walks away.

After the whiplash Belphegor wakes up in the tavern feeling a bit down. Wanting to warm up his soul, he orders a spicy noodle soup which he carefully sets aside once served. He isn’t hungry. Instinctively, he reaches for the chopsticks instead and begins fidgeting with them, a few beats here and a few double strokes there, everything comes with ease. In no time, Belphegor is back at it, smiling, realising the beat will always be there for him, no matter what.

Fight 12 - Metälingus vs Slick Cat

The doors of the arena open once again. (105) Metälingus, the master of brütality, steps in after the ear-piercing cheers and tribal screams exploding from the horde of metal.
"That must be my cue" says (22) Slick Cat, coming right after the commotion and blowing kisses to the onlookers from his conspicuous fancy convertible super-car.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Metälingus rolls 7

Slick Cat rolls 8

Engrossed in charming the audience with his swagger, Slick Cat swerves his car around the arena on a dazzling display of drunk driving. The crowd is loving the unusual savoir fare of course, some throw flowers on his way, others fly napkins with their phone numbers written on them. There's so much charm in the air that from the masses a brave soul emerges and hurls his undergarments directly into Slick Cat's face.
It's an audience hit!
The gentleman cat-assassin's car crashes uncontrolled into one of the pillars supporting the arena. A sudden explosion erupts from the machine, bathing the whole place under a thick stench of petrol, a dark trail of smoke rising to the skies on the wake of its destruction.
Awed by such display of brütality Metälingus begins to run towards the wreckage when a feline figure clawed to a burning ball of fire drops from the heavens directly on top of his head, knocking him down.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Metälingus rolls 3

Slick Cat rolls 6

"You ok there kid?" says Slick Cat dusting off his checkered suit.
Metälingus who isn't neither ok nor a kid, stands up and hurls the car's ejected burning seat out of his damn way. The angry-looking long-haired metalhead can't call himself long-haired anymore.
"Lemme tell ya, that's such a shame friend... It was a fine car you know?" the cat-assassin says shrugging.
Having lost the only half that of himself which prevented him from being exclusively angry-looking, Metälingus bursts with rage, unstraps a steel electric guitar from his back and lifting it with both hands, sets himself to deliver an 8.5 Richter-magnitude killing blow.
Distracted by a hay ball, Slick Cat notices Metälingus' rage with enough time to begin turning slowly in his direction, and stopping him on his tracks with a charming cute little kitty look.
The metalhead lowers his arms ashamed of what he was about to do. Seeking forgiveness he reaches out towards the cute cat who, in a flash, swirls upwards Metälingus' arm, unfolds his claws in front of his face and gouges the metalhead's eyes out. Metälingus cries of pain almost manage to stop time but Slick Cat isn't finished yet. Reaching out with both arms inside the bloodied cavities of his opponent skull, the cat-assassin seals his victory by clawing at Metälingus’ brain and grating it finely as if it was parmesan cheese.
“Such a charmin’ littl' fella” a voice from the audience raises above turmoil followed by many “hear, hear”, a few “Take me!”, and some “Make me yours!”.
Covered in gore, Slick cat leaves the arena muttering to himself “Now you’re gonna need a new suit, you silly.”

Back at the tavern, Metälingus opens his new set of eyes under a curtain of thick hair. A lingering aura of absolute brütality envelops him, enticing all the fivers of his being to unleash the ultimate apocalypse. Gazing upon the world surrounding him one last time, the arc drawn by his eyes suddenly stops before the view of a lonely amp. “F****** finally!” Metälingus yells, and dashing to his lifeline now and connecting his electrical guitar after, he proceeds to shred a devastating riff, shocking everyone in the tavern with the overwhelming power of METAL.

Fight 13 - Hazaradam vs Cicada Buzz

The ghost rogue (64) Hazaradam makes her way into the arena, flitting between physical and other worldly forms. She eyes certain bits of the arena as if she is checking on something.
Opposite is (52) Cicada Buzz nonchalantly tossing a completed rubik's cube over his shoulder.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Hazaradam rolls 9

Cicada Buzz rolls 6

Hazaradam takes on a ghostly form and rushes past Cicada. He feels a spear prodding him in the back, herding him towards a specific spot of the arena.
Hazaradam smiles and yanks on a rope that is by the closest pillar. A sack swings across to break apart and cover Cicada Buzz with spiders of every size and description. He screams "No, not spiders! I freaking hate spiders!" He desperately tries to shake them off but there are just too many.

Hazaradam grabs Cicada and pulls him in close, forcing him to face northward. The spiders all gather round and pose as a member of the crowd takes a group photo. Cicada loses his mind at another of his phobias being triggered and runs out of the arena, screaming.

Hazaradam gathers all her pet spiders up in a sack and calmly strolls out of the arena.
Cicada Buzz is in the tavern but can't shake the itchy feeling he has.

Day five - Dec. 25, 2020

Fight 14 - Lillith vs Mr. Nice Guy

(27) Lillith skips into the arena, her pigtails bouncing atop her head. Several people in the crowd put ear plugs in remembering her last fight.
The crowd erupts with a huge cheer as (26) Mr. Nice Guy enters. A Mexican Wave moves around the arena and Mr. Nice Guy jumps into the crowd high-fiving people as he runs around the arenas edge, keeping pace with the wave.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lillith rolls 10

Mr. Nice Guy rolls 5

Mr. Nice Guy jumps down to bow in front of Lillith with a beaming smile. Seeing how nervous the little girl is, Mr. Nice Guy pulls his hand from behind his back and presents it to her. In his hand is a cute yellow and green budgerigar which flutters its wings and chirps cheerfully.
Lillith is over the moon and lets the budgie hop onto her hand. Mr. Nice Guy turns to the crowd, arms held aloft in victory as they cheer him. He pauses as he hears quiet sobbing behind him.
Mr. Nice Guy turns back to see the budgie has pooped on Lillith's hand and the little girl is staring at the black and white mess, tears streaming down her face.

Lillith looks up, her face turning purple as the mother of all tantrums brews. As Mr. Nice Guy tries to find the words to comfort her, she opens her mouth and screams like no-one has ever screamed before.
With a single chirp the budgerigar's head explodes! Mr. Nice Guy tries to cover his ears but it is no good as blood seeps from between his fingers. He drops dead, hitting the ground with a thud much to the crowds dismay.

Lillith feels better and skips out of the arena while stroking the now headless budgie as she goes.
Mr. Nice Guy is in the tavern and the first thing he does is buy everyone a drink, wishing them a Merry Christmas.

Mother of All Mothers in Law watches the battle from the sidelines, grinning at the demise of the one she considered to be her main rival.

Day six - Dec. 26, 2020

Fight 15 - Scott Arnold vs UG

The athletic bank manager (32) Scott Arnold enters through the left gate.He trips on his way in to much mocking laughter from the audience. Not being happy with this, Scott uses his event negation ability to make the trip disappear from history.
From the right shouts of "UG STRONK!" and "UG SMASH!" foreshadow the arrival of the caveman with the big club, UG.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Scott Arnold rolls 8

UG rolls 7

UG looks at Scott and wrinkles his nose "You stink of books! UG smash!".
UG charges at Scott Arnold, club raised. Scott calmly focuses his mind and negates the moment that UG picked up his club to bring into the arena. UG swings for Scott's head but misses as he suddenly finds that he has nothing in his hands.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Scott Arnold rolls 5

UG rolls 9

Scott's smug smile soon vanishes as UG reaches under his loincloth and whips out a smaller, one-handed club. "UG smarts" he says grinning and hits Scott with such force that his head bounces across the arena into the cheering crowd.

UG leaves to find his big club for big smashing.
Scott Arnold is at the bar drinking, using his power to return the barman to serving him whenever the guy walks off.

Fight 16 - Will and Smith vs 010110101001010101011101 (5A955D)

A trail of gift wrap, coffee-stained diagrams, blueprints and measuring instruments springs from where the shadowy figure had once been. An inconspicuous subtle movement peering into the dark vastness into which the trail flows, tries to conceal a forced gulp and fills his lungs with courage, getting ready to follow. The first step, slow and difficult, trembles anticipating unknown horrors; but suddenly a sound in the distance, the ridiculous thought of a second step interrupted midway between ignorance and madness by the crackling of two colossal gates opening. The sigh of relief averts his gaze from the maw leading towards the inscrutable depths of the arena only to find a familiar scene back from where he came from. That’s all there should be, no need for other mysteries. Below him, the fight. That’s all there is, below him, unfolding magnificently, the always reassuring presence of the fight.

***

The left gate opens up to receive the veteran, the malware slayer, the unique and diverse, the singular and plural, here comes (36) Will and Smith!

Following from the right gate and preceded by a drizzle of Geminids which he helped to compute, comes straight from the matrix of the cosmos the devourer of electricity, the pillar of the universe, the RAM chip overclocking your hearts, (14) 010110101001010101011101!

Applauses and cheers coming from excited fans shower both contestants whilst undecided onlookers without the gift of memory take quick glances at the tournament's brochure in order to recall their previous battles.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Will and Smith rolls 10

010110101001010101011101 rolls 5

Will and Smith personality roll 12

Will and Smith looks with an intermittently twisted and awed expression at his adversary's meteoric entrance. He doesn't move, as if trying to decide something but not being able to make up his mind.

Sensing an opportunity to score a hit, 010110101001010101011101 borrows his cue from a streak of light drawn by the last disintegrating Geminid and charges towards his opponent. B-but wait a second! Just a millisecond before contact, the look on Will and Smith's face suddenly changes, freezing 010110101001010101011101 on his tracks and making him second guess his approach warily.

A stern look scrutinises the RAM chip from top to bottom. “That’s why I hate you!" yells Will and Smith dropping with fury his collection of sharp things on the floor.

The sentient piece of hardware doesn't understand what that crazy-looking guy is talking about.

"You know what? Nah, forget it. Well ok whatever, I’ll just go ahead and say it. Aren't you supposed to support the universe man? Guarantee a flawless performance and all that? I've been reading the tournament's brochure you know?”

"Em... Yes? Yes, I am. I do, in fact. Yes." replies 010110101001010101011101.

"Bullshit." interjects Will and Smith. "Then explain why do I have this crazy masochist in my head begging for pain all the time . It's all he wants that sonofa-… Ok, ok, let's not self deprecate here...”

010110101001010101011101 looks around trying to find a complicit look, a proof that this is happening, that this is all real.

"But," Will and Smith continues, "But did you know that sometimes I wake up on my bed with a knife stabbed in my hand? What the f*** right? What's gonna be next, my eyes? I had to order a set of chains from those Amazon bastards and I'll never forget the look on that guy's face when he came to deliver them. F*** me he knew what was in the damn box, isn't that illegal or somethin'? Imagine what he said to his mates, and what the hell are those bar codes they keep scanning all day for anyway, huh? “

The accused struggles to understand wether he’s expected to give a coherent answer and wether he’s even capable of doing so.

Will and Smith approaches the RAM chip, coming in very close, face to sur-face. "How can I make something perfect when I have to worry about being stabbed in the eye or hammered on the foot? How can I make something perfect when I, myself, am so utterly and deeply flawed? Don't you see? I'm a bug, a glitch in the system, a calculation error! It shouldn't be like this! It's not supposed to be like this! Is it?!" a deep cry of pain emerging from a soul torn apart.

010110101001010101011101 doesn't have enough memory stored to recall when and how the universe's CPU processed the conception of the being known as Will and Smith. An accurate assessment is impossible, the situation deeply illogical, the RAM chip begins to overclock himself trying to reach the matrix of the universe from the floor of the arena. Faster, quicker, there should be an answer somewhere, the universe couldn't birth such a maniac. Hotter, reading for a solution, writing a possible explanation, the data rate increasing to unattainable speeds. Hotter, brighter, the air almost boiling around him, keep going, never falter, keep-… In an instant, reaching the temperature of a star's core, the RAM chip known as 5A955D to his friends and 010110101001010101011101 to everyone else, obliterates himself unable to comprehend and resolve the true nature of his opponent.

Once again impervious to merit through decisive action, the man, the conflict known as Will and Smith triumphs over his opponent; once again, still unable to triumph over himself.

010110101001010101011101 access the tavern indirectly, opening his senses to a friendly bartender who smiles at him and says “Can I get you something 5A955D?”.

Fight 17 - Eiden vs Powerbomb

An excited voice in the distance picks up a microphone. "Next up for a match made in heaven, get ready to welcome our first fighter! The escapist, the twinkle-toed, the uncatchable, the huuuuuuuuahhhntttter, (53) Eiden!!! "

A small figure equipped with the hunter's set (traps, crossbow, and short sword), dashes in through the left gate. Feather steps and no sound on his wake, Eiden allows the thunderous cheers and encouragements from the onlookers to sediment the true measure of his power.

"The next contestant is pure dynamite and you'd better believe he is going to blow you away! Here comes the grappler, the amoebous fighter, the wrestler with the most explosive personality, the one and only, Poweeeeeeeeeeeerbomb!"

A wild outburst of applause follows Powerbomb who slowly makes it to the center of the fighting area taking it all in, the whole stage about to be set on fire.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Eiden 9

Powerbomb 10

Light-footed, Eiden breaks into a spring. Running around, covering every corner, surrounding his opponent, jumping from pillar to pillar, neither the spectators nor Powerbomb can follow his movements clearly. Finally, with a graceful stunt, he propels himself to the edge of the arena and dares his rival to approach his position.

Powerbomb doesn't react to his opponent's provocation, he looks at him quizzically instead. Then, reaching under his wrestler's suit, he produces a set of sweaty papers and begins to read them with difficulty. An absolute silence travels through the crowd, only broken by Powerbomb's continuous and hoarse murmuring. "This is weird, that guy was supposed to pick up a mic and say something shallow and pedantic about me having a relatively unoriginal name and all." Powerbomb comes up with an inner monologue, nobody understanding what's going on when the murmur continues. "And then, I was supposed to act like I'm offended when I'm not, really, and here says 'people cheering' and so people are supposed to cheer at this moment, and then some other things happen I guess, and at some point after this smudged text it's when I do the whole grab and exploding thing again. Did my manager send me the wrong script? Well, color me surprised, he always does the same thing, that man is a mess, I swear. He seems to only care about money sometimes..." The unblinking crowd sees the lonely figure sigh and lower his shoulders. "I should begin thinking about retiring, I'm getting too old for this, always exploding, always reconstituting, always exploding again, and let's be honest here, I'm not as quick as I once was... I mean, at some point I should think about having a family, finding myself a bombshell wife, building a house with explosion-proof furniture and explosion-proof rooms and all, those things take time you know? When am I going to grow up?"

Tired of being ignored and using both hands to project his voice across the arena, the hunter yells: "What are you waiting for powderhead? Come get me!"

Powerbomb finally diverts his attention from the set of papers he was examining and looking at Eiden, replies through his mask: "Mhmmhmhmh, mhmhhhmm!!!"

Unsure if he's understood correctly but not caring that much, the slender figure answers. “Come! Come catch me if you can, just a tiny step forward, you'll see!"

Having considered how little time is left and how many things there are to do, Powerbomb gathers his strength under a delicate whisper. "Ok champ, one last time, just this last one and it’s over”. And then the wrestler steps forward, making contact with one of the hundreds of traps the hunter has laid on the floor. An electric shock crackles through Powerbomb's body stunning him momentarily, enough for Eiden to pick up his crossbow and aim a deadly shot at him.

He misses! A member of the audience drops dead, an arrow piercing his heart. At the same time and showing an impressive capacity for recovery, Powerbomb forgets about his issues, forgets about his manager, forgets about the world, and reverting back to his instinctive wrestler's behaviour, reaches for the dead man's chair and hurls it towards Eiden's face.

It's a hit! Eiden falls to the floor, hurt but still conscious.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Eiden 3

Powerbomb 9

Tired, understanding that the time for a game of tag has passed, Eiden scrutinises his opponent in an instant, then stands up and leaping around the arena approaches Powerbomb, somersaults on top of his shoulders and reaches onto the back of his mask revealing a set of wires, one blue, one green, one red. "I knew it!" he claims. His quick thinking paying of.

Powerbomb tries to grab Eiden and trigger his detonation powers but the hunter remains out of reach of the wrestler's arms, swiftly squirrelling from head to shoulders evading any apprehension attempt, slowly strangling his opponent on a wired chokehold. And yet, before his lungs give up completely, Powerbomb gathers his last strands of energy and begins to wobble left and right seeking to force his opponent off of him.

On that moment Eiden remembered what the elder used to say when he was but a squeaky little kid running around the village. "Listen you runt, remember this for it could save your life one day. If you ever come across a bomb-wrestler with a blue, green, and red cable; always, always, for f**** sake, cut the-". But on that occasion as well as in many others, Eiden had managed to even evade the words of the elder.

And so, seeing no other path to victory and encouraged by those unremembered words of wisdom, the hunter grabs his short sword and attempts to defuse Powerbomb. Blue, Green, Red... Green!

On Eiden's eyes the sun shining through the forest trees, the bird's flight above a quiet village, and a chain of flames bursting rapidly from within. The obliteration of his dream, he won’t go back home crowned champion of the arena.

Unable to escape his own demise, Eiden bursts back into life inside the tavern. Feeling at home in such a wild and merry place, he joins the ongoing conversations, trapping everyone’s hearts with his agile jokes.

Powerbomb slowly reconstitutes himself amongst applauses. As he walks away his cellphone rings, a voice message: "Hey champ, you did well there, you’re… I just, I just want you to know that... that well, it doesn’t matter if your name is unremarkable ok? It really doesn’t. You’re still the best, I’ll tell you every time, you are and will always be the best wrestler there is… And yeah, so… Anyway, since I’m here -well I’m not really here hehehehehe but you get me, right champ?- Well, I’ve just sent you the script for the next fight, read it carefully ok? Don’t mess it up you hear? No improvisation and other shenanigans as we always say alrighty? Ok, ok, glad to know you’re doing fine out there, have to go now, talk to you later eh? See ya! Bye, bye, byebyebyebyebye, b-..."

An amplified metallic clank! in the distance suddenly reminds the onlookers of that voice who introduced the combatants before the fight began. Turning towards its direction a shadowy figure seemingly annoyed brushes a bunch of popcorn away from an imposing and crunchy tribune.

Fight 18 - Axela the lighthouse vs Lily

The crowd looks to the sky at the sound of mass cooing to see one of this years surprise contenders, (35) Axela the lighthouse being carried above the arena by thousands of pigeons.
With a triple growl and a mighty leap in comes (46) Lily, the three-headed cerberus dog. She stands below the Lighthouse barking.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Axela the lighthouse rolls 8

Lily rolls 10

Axela the lighthouse prepares to command her pigeons to drop her on the big pooch, thinking it an easy victory. Lily has other ideas and with breathtaking speed she leaps from pillar to pillar before grabbing hold of Axela's door and ripping it off.
Lily lands back on the ground and throws the door as if it was a stick, tail wagging frantically as she waits for it to be thrown back.
Unfortunately it is not a stick and as the door is thrown into the crowd it decapitates three people/creatures and crushes another four after.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Axela the lighthouse rolls 7

Lily rolls 2

Shocked by Lily's speed and power, Axela changes tact. She commands half her pigeons to scan the crowd for the plumpest, tastiest looking audience members they can find while the other half keep her just out of reach of the growling dog.
With yells of protest a dozen crowd members are lifted up and and held in place in front of the littlest lighthouse that could. She turns her light on them, cooking them where they are while being careful not to fry any of her pigeons.
Lily stands underneath tail wagging and mouth salivating. She rolls over several times and whines as she begs for the tasty treats above.
One by one the carcasses are dropped and Lily devours them, the three heads making short work of the meal. She lies down contented when she is finished.

Lily finds herself curled up in front of the fire in the tavern.
Axela the lighthouse starts to float away when she notices a commotion down below. An angry orc is waving an axe whilst hurling insults her way. "Fight me you stupid Lighthouse! What sort of a weird-arsed contestant are you anyway? Get down here so i can smash you good!"
Axela ignores the orc as he is dragged back to the tavern by security and commands her pigeons to find her a new door.

Day seven - Dec. 27, 2020

The arena undergoes maintenance. (Fights 16 and 17 were reported this day)

Day eight - Dec. 28, 2020

Fight 19 - Zonk vs Ben Kii Nobi

(92) Zonk enters the arena having taken the form of an obese gentleman he met while queuing at the insectoid and mucus doughnut stand. He sucks the remaining mucus from his fingertips "That was nice but now I'm hungry. Wonder if my opponent's fridge is well stocked?".
A disturbance in the force heralds the arrival of (41) Ben Kii Nobi. The crowd starts to chant in a monotone voice "Ben Kii, Ben Kii, Ben Kii".

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Zonk rolls 6

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 10

Having seen the insatiable aliens appetite from the previous round and not wanting it to get to his fridge and eat his Tatooine quiche, Ben Kii Nobi scans the crowd for the biggest, scariest being he can find.
He spots an 8 foot tall Mantis-Deatheater hybrid and uses his powers to cast an illusion making the creature look like a giant chocolate eclair, covered in sprinkles and bugs eyes.

Zonk's attention is drawn to the scrumptious looking morsel and coos "that looks tasty!". He charges across the arena, leaps into the crowd and bites down on the surprisingly hard and well armoured eclair.
Ben Kii's illusion dissipates to reveal the monstrous being. It's belly opens revealing rows of sharp teeth which grab hold of Zonk, tearing as they draw him in. Zonk wails "I knew my greed would be the death of me" as mandibles chomp down into his head.

Ben Kii bows as the audience cheers without his prompting and leaves the arena.
Zonk is in the tavern with a big smile on his (borrowed) face as plate after plate of food is brought out to him.

Fight 20 - Pat Ronizing vs Malicia

Cackling under her breath, the evil art hystorian and collector (42) Pat Ronizing enters the arena. She carries a sack containing her paintings that her powers are linked to.
Bounding in through the opposite gate comes (87) Malicia a three-headed cat hydra. Two heads lock onto her foe while the third cleans herself.

* Dice Roll 1 *

Pat Ronizing rolls 8

Malicia rolls 4

Malicia stalks her prey meowing while simultaneously hissing. Pat Ronizing smiles and reaches into her sack of paintings.
Just as Malicia is about to pounce, Pat yanks out Inforil of Oblodron's most famous work 'Sad kitty, no milk'.
She holds the painting aloft depicting a knocked over saucer of milk surrounded by six sad and hungry kittens. Malicia stares at the painting and feels the power of the work, the sad kitty eyes filling her with despair.

With a pitiful triple mewing noise, Malicia bounds out of the arena.
Pat Ronizing laughs, wallowing in the boos from the audience as she calmly puts the painting back in her sack and walks back out the gate.

Malicia feels better in the tavern, three saucers of milk in front of her. She eyes a plump hamster but is put off by the metal teeth it keeps flashing her.

Fight 21 - Skreetch Bonefoot vs Nexophorm

The limping, short-sighted goblin (6) Skreetch Bonefoot hobbles into the arena wondering what he is doing back there. A bit of jostling in the crowd ends with a Squidman shooting a stream of ink out in anger. The ink strikes Skreetch in the eyes and he stumbles around unable to see. -1 penalty to Skreetch Bonefoot for his first dice roll.

Leaving a trail of drool behind it, the misshapen monstrosity that is (11) Nexophorm observes its opponents struggles.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Skreetch Bonefoot rolls 8 -1 = 7

Nexophorm rolls 4

Nexophorm nonchalantly awaits its foe, sensing no danger here. Multiple appendages practice karate moves while it waits.
The blinded Skreetch stumbles to the arenas edge and falls over the low wall to land in the lap of a buxom mage. The spellcaster stands up in outrage threatening all manner of pain and suffering on our hapless little goblin.
Skreetch flails his arms around, repeatedly smacking into body parts he shouldn't, while apologising repeatedly "So sorry, Miss, really am sorry, whoops, didn't mean to smack you there, sorry!".

In his kerfuffle, Skreetch smacks his hand against a sun pendant nestled between the mages breasts. The pendant turns bright yellow before firing out a beam of flame that scorches the tip of Skreetch's nose before striking Nexophorm dead centre. The alien just has time to gurgle "What the...?" before exploding in a shower of gore.

The crowd go wild with the offended mage particularly pleased at being involved in the days action. She lifts Skreetch off his feet, gives him a big wet kiss and plops him back down over the wall into the arena proper.

Blushing, the confused Skreetch Bonefoot wipes the last of the ink from his eyes and with a timid wave, walks out of the gate.
Nexophorm is in the tavern showing off his kung fu.

Day nine - Dec. 29, 2020

Fight 22 - iPeach the 12th vs Natali

(103) iPeach the 12th is propped against a pillar having borrowed a charger for a much needed energy boost.
The human/alien hybrid (97) Natali walks confidently into the arena.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

iPeach the 12th rolls 7

Natali rolls 9

iPeach looks to assault Natali's senses by blasting god-awful, modern auto-tuned pop music at her but the hybrid uses her power over wind and air to form a sound bubble around iPeach, resulting in her being the only one to hear the music.. The crowd shout their thanks to Natali.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

iPeach the 12th rolls 5

Natali rolls 11

Natali grabs hold of iPeach the 12th and says " I hear you are looking for a charger?". She plugs a cable into iPeach who is desperately cycle through her apps for a way to defend herself. Natali swings iPeach around and around her head, using her wind affinity to heighten the speed before letting go and watching iPeach fly clear out of the arena.

Natali takes a bow and leaves the arena.
iPeach the 12th is propped up on the bar, plugged into a socket and enjoying a nice relaxing charge.

Fight 23 - Lemmy vs Borzoi

(50) Lemmy the mutated lemur enters the arena so focused on his one aim in life that he doesn't even notice the crowd both cheering and jeering him. He keeps repeating to himself "Must kill Elexis Sinclaire".
The bald Dwarven sun soul monk called (62) Borzoi enters, resplendent in purple. He stops to offer a quick prayer to his God.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Lemmy rolls 2

Borzoi rolls 10

Lemmy's eyes twitch as he struggles to keep his rage in check.
Borzoi calls out "hey, furball!", Lemmy bares his teeth at the insult "I've brought a friend with me today, look to your left in the crowd".
Lemmy turns his head and catches his breath. It's her, Elexis Sinclaire, the mad scientist who turned Lemmy into the monster he is today.

Lemmy lets out a primal scream of rage but suddenly goes quiet as he hits the ground with a thud, his brains spread out around him. Elexis blows the smoke from the barrel of her gun and smiles "Sorry darling, nothing personal but it was either you or me."

Borzoi gives thanks to his God for no blood marring his splendid purple robes and leaves the arena.
Lemmy is in the tavern playing darts with daggers.

Fight 24 - Jason "Jennifer" Lee vs Mr. Chip

(23) Jason "Jennifer" Lee slouches into the arena, munching on a handful of sausage samples he mooched from a food cart outside.
(71) Mr. Chip bounds into the arena, tail wagging like mad, tongue hanging out.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Jason "Jennifer" Lee rolls 6

Mr. Chip rolls 10

Jason "Jennifer" Lee pushes his hair out of his eyes, wondering where the little dog has gone to. Hearing a motorized sound from behind, he spins round to see Mr. Chip racing towards him on a Segway, oversized mall security cap flopped down over his eyes so that he can't see where he is going.
A loud thump brings the Segway to a halt as it smashes into Jason knocking him out cold. Mr. Chip hops out from below the security cap to see sausage samples raining down around him.

Mr. Chip is a happy little dog indeed and leaves the arena with a full stomach.
Jason "Jennifer" Lee is in the tavern having flashbacks about being run over.

Fight 25 - Quicktongue the Bard vs Ooblex the Gooblex

The dulcet tones of (74) Quicktongue the Bard sends the crowd wild with with joy.
"Tis the season for drink and folly, falalalalaa-lalalalaa. Raining goo from the blobby wally, falalalalaa-lalalalaa."

Unmoved, (91) Ooblex the Gooblex slides its way into the arena. An oddly shaped alien dressed as the Bard (obviously a superfan) jumps down in front of Oooblex to taunt it. "You smell like feet, my skills are quite leet!" he proclaims excitedly.
Ooblex merely engulfs the idiot, quickly breaking it down into nutrition.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Quicktongue the Bard 6

Ooblex the Gooblex 8

The Bard is in good voice and ignoring what happened to his fan, jests with the crowd.
Ooblex the Gooblex keeps advancing, encircling the Bard all around and even above.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Quicktongue the Bard rolls 10

Ooblex the Gooblex rolls 3

The bard doesn't panic, whipping out two sharpened quills he prepares for battle "Ooblex old boy, prepare to meet your maker!"
Quicktongue runs jumps and whirls around with tremendous speed, slashing and stabbing while all the while keeping out of reach of the blobs embrace. The crowd watch on with baited breath unsure of their heroes fate through the blur of movement in front of them.

The dust settles and the Bard stands, panting, while surrounded by thousands of tiny little bits of the mighty Ooblex the Gooblex. He quips "For those who doubt that the pen is mightier than the sword, feast your eyes my friends, feast your eyes."
He bows and to rapturous applause, sweeps out of the arena.

Ooblex the Gooblex is in the tavern having been warned not to absorb any of the other patrons.

Day ten - Dec. 30, 2020

Fight 26 - Loxyklokyytx vs Aris

The Alien assassin (90) Loxyklokyytx enters the arena, stopping to pick up a piece of sausage by some skidmarks.
With a puff of smoke (56) Aris appears, wand at the ready.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Loxyklokyytx rolls 9

Aris rolls 5

Loxyklokyytx somersaults forward before throwing several shuriken Aris's way. The mage quickly raises a protective shield to deflect them and casts a spell of paralysis towards his opponent.
Sensing harm about to befall him, Loxyklokyytx power to swap places with an opponent kicks in and he swaps places with the mage just as the spell strikes leaving Aris frozen in place.

Loxyklokyytx saunters out of the arena to the cheers of the crowd.
Aris recovers from his paralysis spell in the tavern and falls flat on his face.

Day eleven - Dec. 31, 2020

Fight 27 - Celia vs no_body

A flaming phoenix swoops into the arena from the sky drawing gasps from the crowd. It hits the ground with a mighty explosion but when the flames and smoke clears (1) Celia stands in its place.
A mirror image of Celia walks in to face her. (44) no_body smiles a wicked grin.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Celia rolls 8

no_body rolls 5

Celia is so angry at being impersonated that she fails to notice no_body's sneak attack. He whispers a spell under his breath and iron shackles encase her wrists. With a gasp she falls to the ground as the cold metal drains the life from her body.

no_body laughs at his easy victory until he hears a cackling old voice mocking him in his head. "Remember the curse of the damsel in distress."

His memory goes back to when he was a young man. Riding through the forest with his friends, they spot what looks a comely young lass from behind stuck up to her waist in a bog, crying out for help.
Grabbing his rope he rushes to save the maiden and maybe win her heart in the process. "Grab this rope and I will pu..." his voice trails off as he gets closer. That face, dear God he has never seen an uglier woman! Her nose is so crooked as to be almost bent in two. There are multiple warts and a monobrow over her too close together eyes.

"Please help me" implores the lady "I need to get back to my people".
With his friends looking on, no_body sneers "I got mud all over my boots and you have a nerve to look like that!" He spits on the crying woman as his friends laugh and clap him on the shoulders.

As he walks back to his horse he hears an ominous voice behind him "You dare to refuse aid to one of the Delmati Gypsies? I curse you from this day forward that should you ever find a damsel in distress again, whether by your hand or not, you will be compelled to do all you can to aid them, no matter what the cost is to yourself!"

no_body's mind clears as he returns to the present to see Celia on the brink of death before him.
He feels the familiar urge taking over his actions from him as he tries to fight it through gritted teeth. Against his will, he dismisses the iron shackles and transfers his life force to the ailing mage.
Gasping, he looks up to see Celia staring at him with determination in her eyes. She throws her hands forward and a wave of flames obliterates no_body leaving just ashes in their wake.

Celia turns into a pillar of flame and shoots up into the sky and out of the arena.
no_body is in the tavern vowing to find a way to overturn the Gypsies curse.

Day twelve - Jan. 01, 2020

Fight 28 - Osen vs Katmeleonpus

The machine-human-machine aesthete malware that is (31) Osen enters the arena. He is not happy to be back in the bland, featureless surroundings.
The hybrid that is (72) Katmeleonpus bounds in, octopus tentacles slapping on the ground as she goes. Her Siamese cat head turns to take in her surroundings as she changes colour to blend in with a nearby pillar.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Osen rolls 4

Katmeleonpus rolls 8

Osen, the malware purveyor of art and beauty, the seeker of enlightenment regards the creature before him with disgust. He watches on as Katmeleonpus cleans her Octopus tentacles with what appears to be a chameleons tongue. She starts to cough up a hairball which lands on the ground covered in ink.

Osen decides this is not the place for one such as himself and makes his way back to the tavern with its decadent architecture and fine art.
Katmeleonpus stops cleaning herself and looks around for her opponent. Seeing no-one around, her tentacles start slapping the ground and she makes her way out of the arena.

Fight 29 - The Bard vs Kirthal

(58) The Bard enters and bows to the audience. He greets one and all "Good dawning to thee, friends". His cultured presence elicits a mixed response from the crowd, some appreciating his class while others preferring a more blood-thirsty approach from their combatants.
The arena suddenly gets a lot warmer as (79) Kirthal enters, exhaling smoke as he does so.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

The Bard rolls 6

Kirthal rolls 6

The Bard faces his imposing adversary and with a voice that is strong and clear proclaims -
"Your breath first kindled the dead coal of wars
And brought in matter that should feed this fire;
And now ’tis far too huge to be blown out
With that same weak wind which enkindled it."

Kirthal snorts "I am no simpleton to be bamboozled by your fancy words"
The fires build in his gullet.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

The Bard rolls 8

Kirthal rolls 3

The Bard is undeterred and feels the power of the wordsmith building within. He cries out -
"I drew this gallant head of war,
And cull’d these fiery spirits from the world,
To outlook conquest and to win renown
Even in the jaws of danger and of death."

Kirthal cocks his head as the denizens of the arena, inspired by the power of the bards words leap into battle.
An Ogre charges, club raised but crumples to the ground dead as Kirthal unleashes his fiery death upon the crowd. Dozens perish screaming but the glint in Kirthal's eyes is extinguished as a Water Elemental takes it upon itself to leap into his open maw and down into his stomach, quenching the fire from within.
With the Drake in a weakened state the Bards new found army soon overpower it and hack it to death.

The Bard bows to his crazed, bloodied fans and takes his leave.
Kirthal is in the tavern and with a sigh breathes a little flame to toast some marshmallows for a blue huggy thing that gives a happy little "Yay!" in response.

Fight 30 - Stamat vs Mina

Flying into the arena is the squirrel (112) Stamat, looking fatter than in his previous fight.
Chef hat bobbing into view, (75) Mina asks "Who ordered fried tree-rat to go?"

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Stamat rolls 7

Mina rolls 7

Stamat fills his chubby cheeks with sharpened acorns and starts spitting them at Mina like a machines gun. The chef bats them away with her prized Meat Tenderizer.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Stamat rolls 8

Mina rolls 9

Stamat turns his big sad eyes onto Mina, looking for food. Mina has other ideas and slaps thick slices of bread either side of the squirrel "Mmm, rodent sandwich".

* DICE ROLL 3 *

Stamat rolls 9

Mina rolls 5

As Mina lifts the sandwich towards her mouth the squirrel manages to lock his big round eyes onto hers. Her mouth hangs open as she gently puts Stamat down having fallen under his spell.
Mina empties her many chef pockets, piling high fruit and other tasty treats that the squirrel gleefully tucks into.

Stamat glides out of the arena tummy full to bursting.
Mina is where she loves to be, in the taverns kitchen cooking another masterpiece.

Fight 31 - Jack the Knack vs Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (Dr. Stone)

(95) Jack the Knack, the boxing kangaroo bounds into the arena drawing cheers from the crowd as they remember how he bested the shark last time out.
He faces a very different foe this time in the form of (9) Grndrgnrrgrlbdr aka (Dr. Stone). One of the original space travelers, Dr. Stone has taken the shape of a giant Koala Bear consisting of his mineral and steel physique.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Jack the Knack rolls 7

Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (Dr. Stone) rolls 7

Jack jumps into action, landing several powerful blows on his opponents steel exterior, all to no effect.
Dr. Stone sighs and in his slow melodic voice asks "Is there any real need for such primitive violence? Maybe we can have a nice cup of tea and discuss matters instead."

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Jack the Knack rolls 11

Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (Dr. Stone) rolls 4

Jack knows he needs to fight smart to beat this guy. He can sense great power from Dr. Stone's midsection and needs to find a way to expose it.
The kangaroo calls out "G'day Bruce, that's a mighty fine impersonation of a Koala you got going there. Just one thing wrong with it, Koalas are known to stand up on their hind legs and raise their arms in the air and wave them from side to side."

Dr. Stone gives him a quizzical look "Who is Bruce?". Then being the first xeno-archeo-biologist of its species and always keen to learn more about other races he stands on his legs and waves his arms slowly in the air, exposing his belly. "Like this you mean?" he asks keenly.

Jack the Knack smiles as he spots the energy core protruding like an outie belly button. "That's it Cobber, just like that" Jack jumps in to deliver the knockout blow to the core.
Grndrgnrrgrlbdr lets out a gravelly groan as he collapses to the ground clutching his belly "Now that wasn't very gentlemanly of you" he says through gritted teeth.

Jack dances around the arena milking the applause before leaving.
Grndrgnrrgrlbdr is sat at a table in the tavern with a nice cup of tea and a genial smile on his face.

Fight 32 - Rudolph vs Ami

Sleigh bells ring out through the night. As Santa's sleigh passes overhead going home to the North Pole, (111) Rudolph disengages himself from it to fly down and land in the middle of the arena.
(101) Ami skips in cheerfully gripping her doll by its legs.

* DICE ROLL 1 *

Rudolph rolls 5

Ami rolls 4

Rudolph looks at the doll warily and with a great shake of his head sends a wrapped gift skittering across the ground to Ami's feet. The little girl unwraps it eagerly and with a gasp drops Cecilia and grabs the new doll from within, giving it a big hug.

* DICE ROLL 2 *

Rudolph rolls 9

Ami rolls 4

Cecilia's head turns to look at Rudolph which the Reindeer notices with a hint of panic. He telepathically calls out to Santa who turns his sleigh around to pass back over the arena, dropping off one large and heavy present as he does.
The gift lands on top of the sentient doll, crushing it into the ground. The four sides of the box drop open to reveal a majestic dolls house within.
Ami can't hide her delight and loses all interest in participating in fight club any longer.

Rudolph flies out of the arena to get a stiff drink before the next round.
Ami is happily playing with her new doll and its house in a corner of the tavern

 ROUND 3

*** ROYAL RUMBLE ***

Stage 2 - Enter Generic Superhero, McCadbury, Jack the Knack, Rudolph and Skreetch Bonefoot

First to enter in a flash of movement is (106) Generic Superhero, who is in the ring in the blink of an eye.
Strolling in to face him comes (5) McCadbury, looking taller each time we see him.

* DICE ROLL *

Generic Superhero rolls 4

McCadbury 8

Superhero extends adamantium claws from his hands and prepares to shred the moustache twirling purple being in front of him.
As he advances McCadbury dives within his grasp, embracing his surprised opponent. "I think you need a hug, pal", Generic tries to push him away but looks on in horror as his hands and arms turn to chocolate and drip to the floor.
"This is not possible!" he exclaims, slurring the last words as the rest of him ends up as part of the puddle of chocolaty goodness.
McCadbury pulls out his purple straw and gorges himself on the sweet stuff, growing in stature as he does.

Generic Superhero reappears whole again in the audience.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Bounding in comes (95) Jack the Knack, the Aussie kangaroo with smarts as well as brawn.

* DICE ROLL *

McCadbury rolls 10

Jack the Knack rolls 10

Jack leaps over a sticky patch on the floor and unleashes a wicked right hook McCadbury's way. The purple one manages to just sidestep the blow, Jack jumps back out of range before his opponents power can take hold.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Landing between the opponents, crashing down among a pile of presents, is (111) Rudolph. His nose is glowing particularly brightly today and the smell of alcohol permeates the air.

* ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL *
McCadbury attacks Rudolph
Jack the Knack attacks Rudolph
Rudolph attacks McCadbury

* DICE ROLL *
McCadbury rolls 10

Jack the Knack rolls 10

Rudolph rolls 6


McCadbury advances towards the Reindeer, trying to not let the strong alcoholic smell overpower him and make him bring up his freshly digested chocolate.
Rudolph instinctively retreats from the purple one and his insidious aura when he hears a voice from behind - "G'day Cobber!"
Rudolph spins around and is met with a powerful double kick from the Roo that sends him flying out of the ring and into the strong arms of a blue eyed giant in the crowd.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Hobbling nervously towards the ring comes (6) Skreetch Bonefoot. The little goblin treads on a tail as he goes and is greeted by three growling canine heads as a reward. With a panicked "Eep!" he runs as best he can, climbing into the ring but getting tangled in the ropes and falling face first to the canvas. -1 dice roll for Skreetch Bonefoot's first roll.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Skreetch Bonefoot attacks McCadbury
Jack the Knack attacks Skreetch Bonefoot
McCadbury attacks Skreetch Bonefoot

* DICE ROLL *

Skreetch Bonefoot rolls 10 -1 = 9

McCadbury rolls 6

McCadbury strides confidently towards the feeble goblin who nervously holds out something towards him.
Skreetch babbles "I got you a present, please don't suck me up through a straw" he throws a chocolate bar to land at the purple ones feet.
McCadbury picks up the the chocolate bar and chomps down on it. He immediately regrets his decision and looks properly at the wrapper "Hershey's! You've poisoned me you vile little goblin!"
McCadbury himself begins to melt into a pool of chocolate while wailing the words "I'm melting, melting. Ohhhhh, what a world, what a world. destroy my beautiful wickedness."

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 9

Skreetch Bonefoot rolls 6

Jack cocks hid head "Well I didn't expect that. Right come here ya little scrote, time for some good old fashioned brutality."
Skreetch Bonefoot lets out his trademark "Eep!" and scrambles out of the ring into the waiting embrace of the arenas many feline denizens.

McCadbury is whole again and seated in the arena. The others don't get too close to him.

Jack the Knack laughs "Well that was easy, who's next?"

Stage 3 - Enter Lillith, <censored>, Stamat, Hazaradam and Katmeleonpus

Skipping towards the ring is (27) Lillith, Jack curses himself for forgetting his earplugs.

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 4

Lillith rolls 2

As Lillith climbs into the ring he pulls out a tie that was dropped by a bank manager earlier in the tournament and wraps it tightly around her mouth to stop her deadly screams.
Lillith puts her hands on her hips and stomps her feet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Loud patriotic music blares out as (110) <censored> strides towards the ring. He climbs through the ropes and addresses the crowd "Thank you, you look awesome, I feel awesome myself, I am the most awesome of all us here."

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Jack the Knack attacks Lillith
Lillith attacks Jack the Knack (counts as same dice roll as above as both attack each other)
<censored> attacks Lillith

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 7

Lillith rolls 6

Jack leans on his back and balancing Lillith on his powerful hind legs, spins her round and round in the air. He puts her back on her feet and she staggers from dizziness.

* DICE ROLL *

<censored> rolls 9

Lillith rolls 6

<censored> addresses the dizzy little girl "I see your head spinning because - my head sometimes spins too, when my head spins it spins better than all others. My son is often dizzy - it is his genes, he has good genes, awesome genes - my genes are the best American genes, pure genes..."
<censored> waffles on for the next 20 minutes, always redirecting the conversation to talk about his greatness.
Lillith has had enough. She yanks the tie from her mouth and glares at the other two combatants, who instinctively cover their ears.
Lillith storms out of the ring in search of the girl with the dolls house to play with.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next contestant is announced over the tannoy as the flying squirrel, (112) Stamat. The two in the ring instinctively look to the sky but instead Stamat rolls down the arena and into the ring, now shaped like a chubby cheeked football.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
<censored> attacks Jack the Knack
Stamat attacks Jack the Knack
Jack the Knack attacks Stamat (counts as the same dice roll as above as both attack each other)

* DICE ROLL *

<censored> rolls 5

Jack the Knack rolls 11

<censored> starts to drone on about if he was a kangaroo he would be the best kangaroo of them all but Jack is having none of it.
"Strewth mate, you could bore for Queensland!" Jack grabs <censored>'s ginger wig, rips it from his head and stuffs it so far down his throat that <censored> chokes and drops dead to the canvas. The other contestants cheer until the defeated <censored> appears next to them in the arenas seating and they have to listen to him up close.

* DICE ROLL *

Stamat rolls 7

Jack the Knack rolls 11

Stamat turns his big eyes on Jack who snorts "So it's more food you're after then you furry tree rat?" Jack produces a watermelon, punches the centre out of it and jams Stamat in so that his head is sticking out of one end and his rump the other.
Jack the Knack then punts the watermelon clear out of the arena.

Stamat reappears back in the arena next to a purple monkey.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The legend that is (64) Hazaradam strides confidently towards the ring, not worried by some oversized, boxing mouse.

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 8

Hazaradam rolls 7

Jack takes a sneaky Aussie swing at Hazaradam as she climbs through the ropes but his punch passes right through her as she slips into ghost form at that time. She returns to her physical self but is caught by a back kick from the mighty Roo that sends her flying to the other side of the ring.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The slip-slapping of many tentacled legs heralds the arrival of the cat/octopus/chameleon hybrid (72) Katmeleonpus.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Hazaradam attacks Katmeleonpus
Jack the Knack attacks Katmeleonpus
Katmeleonpus attacks Hazaradam

* DICE ROLL *

Hazaradam rolls 4

Katmeleonpus rolls 8

Katmeleonpus clambers into the ring and gobs an inky-furball right on the middle of the canvas. Both Jack and Hazaradam look at the creature with disgust.
Hazaradam chases after it with spear in hand, Katmeleonpus slips out of the ring with a hissing-mewing sound, heading towards the front row seats.

The legendary ghost/rogue smiles, thinking the creature trapped. Katmeleonpus uses her camouflage ability to disappear out of sight. Growling in frustration, Hazaradam stabs her spear forward to where she last saw the creature - and right into Fish's shoulder.
The mighty Orc roars in protest and with a backhanded swing of his Great Axe lops the surprised Hazaradam's head clean of her shoulders.

Hazaradam reappears seated over the other side of the ring, giving Fish evil looks.

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 11

Katmeleonpus rolls 8

Katmeleonpus comes back into sight just to the left of where the Orc is swearing about his stabbed shoulder. She hears a voice from behind - "You're a funny looking Sheila, ain't ya?" Jack grabs her by the neck and drags her back into the ring.
He leads her to the inky-furball and forcees her to lick it up.
"That's it, clear all that mess up. I'm trying to work here!" When he is satisfied he punches her so hard, little birdies are flying around her head.

Katmeleonpus regains consciousness in the arenas seating and notices lots of other (if less exotic) cats are there with her.

Stage 4 - Enter Henry the IT man, POGO, Calad and Lupos

(59) Henry the IT man nervously walks towards the ring with the imposing Kangaroo in it muttering under his breath about what he is doing here.

* DICE ROLL *

Jack the Knack rolls 8

Henry rolls 9

Henry scrambles into the ring, stands and dusts himself off. Jack watches, the adrenaline pumping through him, and speeds in for a quick knockout.
In a panic Henry raises his laptop in front of his face, just in time for Jack's right hook to connect with it.
"Waltzing freaking Matilda!" screams Jack the Knack as he nurses his right paw.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The creature that is (39) POGO half walks, half glides down towards the ring. Henry carefully steps back as it climbs in.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Henry attacks POGO
POGO attacks Henry (counts as same dice roll as above)
Jack the Knack attacks POGO

* DICE ROLL *

Henry rolls 11

POGO rolls 8

POGO lashes out with one of its 6 attacks, a steel spiked tentacle that leaves a nasty gash across Henry's chest. He falls back alarmed by all the blood.
POGO looks to finish the fight with another of his attacks but mistakenly hits Henry with his heal ray instead of the acid he meant to use. Henry feels rejuvenated and with a little "Grrr" wades into POGO with his trusty office hole punch.
Henry punches hole after hole through POGO as the creature gurgles its protests until it finally drops down dead.

POGO reappears in the crowd, embarrassed at losing to a nerd.

Jack the Knack decides to take a breather, looking at Henry with new found respect.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With a BOOM and a cloud of smoke (76) Calad the white haired sorcerer enters the arena.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Henry attacks Jack the Knack
Calad attacks Jack the Knack
Jack the Knack attacks Calad (counts as same dice roll as above)

* DICE ROLL *

Henry rolls 7

Jack the Knack rolls 7

With new found confidence Henry advances on the Kangaroo with his hole punch in hand. He tries to repeatedly to strike Jack but the Roo is too nimble, weaving in and out of danger.

* DICE ROLL *

Calad rolls 6

Jack the Knack rolls 3

Seeing Jack's attention is elsewhere Calad casts a spell of Hill Giants strength upon himself. He then sneaks up behind the distracted Kangaroo and gives him a good whack across the back of his head with his shield, knocking him out sparko.
Together Calad and Henry drag Jack the Knack to the edge of the ring and push him out.

Jack the Knack comes to in the surrounding seats wondering what just happened. He sees respect on the faces around him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The warrior-wizard called (19) Lupos races into the ring. Seeing the Kangaroo gone he smiles confidently.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Henry attacks Calad
Lupos attacks Calad
Calad attacks Lupos (counts as same dice roll as above)

* DICE ROLL *

Henry rolls 11

Calad rolls 9

Henry spins on Calad and with the speed of a Wild West gunslinger, he whips his stapler from his belt and rapid fires staples at the mage.
Calad curses "Son of a bit..." as staple after staple pierces his body before he finally casts a protective shield in front of himself to deflect the rest away.

* DICE ROLL *

Lupos rolls 7

Calad rolls 11

Lupos strokes the pet tarantula in his pocket before turning into a giant spider himself. Calad spins to see the arachnid poised to strike, "Oh hell no, I hate those things!"
With his hands shaking, Calad just manages to cast his spell in time and a giant rolled up newspaper appears above Lupos and smashes down repeatedly battering him to death.

Lupos is in the audience now, admiring the weird and wonderful creatures there.

Stage 5 - Enter Natali, UG and Axela the Lighthouse

The alien/human hybrid (97) Natali flies into the ring on top of a whirlwind and lands in a crouch, ready for action.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Natali attacks Henry
Henry attacks Calad
Calad attacks Natali

* DICE ROLL *

Natali rolls 7

Henry rolls 8

The air around Natali becomes more turbulent as she starts to build power. Henry scratches his head, then sticks his stapler into the maelstrom and fires off multiple staples.
Natali swears as her winds send dozens of sharp staples flying about her being, scratching and stabbing as they go.

* DICE ROLL *

Henry rolls 8

Calad rolls 7

Hearing spell casting from behind Henry spins and shoots a staple pinning Calad's left ear to his head. The sorcerer yelps and promises to stick Henry's stapler somewhere rude.

* DICE ROLL *

Calad rolls 8

Natali rolls 11

Calad sends ice daggers past Henry and into Natali. The hybrid growls and throws her hands forward, the wind she had been building ripping Calad from the ring and sending him hurtling into a giant Rock among the seats. Dazed, Calad looks for an empty chair (after apologizing to Rock) and tries to get his bearings.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A loud scraping noise is emitted by (21) UG as he drags his very big club behind him. "Me come for book man. Me SMASH book man!" he roars.
Ugghh cheers and smashes his club up and down from the sidelines at the sight of his fellow knucklehead.
Henry gulps.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Natali attacks Henry
UG attacks Henry
Henry attacks Natali (counts as same dice roll as the first above)

* DICE ROLL *

Natali rolls 3

Henry rolls 11

Henry and Natali eyeball each other as they wait for UG to arrive. Henry pulls out his mobile phone and makes a call, Natali hears an Indian voice on the other end.
Henry smiles and puts his phone away "I understand you are having some technical problems, don't worry help is on the way".
Everyone looks up as dozens of drones fly overhead. Henry shouts up to them and points at Natali "Drop just there boys". Before Natali has a chance to react, dozens of repaired PC's come crashing down onto her head, battering her to the canvas.

Natali is seated in the crowd, vowing to track down that Indian voice and give them a battering of their own.

* DICE ROLL *

UG rolls 11

Henry rolls 8

Henry is brimming with confidence as he turns to face UG who is climbing into the ring. UG looks at the computers scattered about the place and goes red in the face with anger. "METAL BOOKS! UG SMASH!".
He starts obliterating the PC's with his club until a quiet voice draws his attention.
"Hey UG, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?”

With a grin Henry starts peppering UG with staples, really taking to the role of an action hero. UG looks at the many little bits of metal sticking out of himself, spits in his hands and gets a good grip on his club and swings hitting Henry with such force that his broken body crashes into the back of the arena. UG snorts "Stoopid book man" and starts picking staples out of his skin.

Henry is now sitting quietly ringside having decided that the life of the action hero isn't for him after all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

UG stands in the middle of the ring beating his club against his chest as Ugghh does the same ringside when a loud cooing draws his attention from above.
Fish jumps up from his seat and yells "There's my baby! C'mon Lighthouse, win me some money!"
(35) Axela the lighthouse hovers above the ring, held aloft by her many pigeons. She has a brand new door in place that she is very happy with.

* DICE ROLL *

UG rolls 7

Axela the lighthouse rolls 10

UG jumps up and down, swinging his club angrily. Axela is above him when all of a sudden her pigeons as one let go of their ropes and the lighthouse falls 20 feet down onto UG's head with a loud splat.

UG is now ringside, chuckling, as he and Ugghh take it in turns to hit each other around the head with their clubs.

Stage 6 - Enter Mother of All Mothers in Law, Powerbomb and Og'rialt

 A deadly hush falls across the arena as (33) Mother of All Mothers in Law stalks down the pathway leading to the ring. She glares at each and every being sitting ringside as she goes.
With a sneer she scans the crowd of former combatants around the arena, catching Celeste's eye. The little kitten tries to back away but finds herself stuck in place as Mothers petrification gaze takes effect.

Grndrgnrrgrlbdr moves in front of Celeste to block the deadly eye contact while Calad and Lupos act quickly to reverse the process and return Celeste to furry little kitten status again.
Mother of All Mothers in Law cackles wildly.

Axela the lighthouse watches on with no emotion.

* DICE ROLL *

Axela the lighthouse rolls 8

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 10

Axela drifts above Mother but suddenly finds herself lurching to one side as dozens of her pigeons turn to stone and crash to the canvas, having fallen victim to the foul gaze.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Snap's 'I've got the power' blares out as the pro wrestler (77) Powerbomb runs and slides into the ring, feeling right at home in the surroundings.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Powerbomb attacks Mother of All Mothers in Law
Axela the lighthouse attacks Mother of All Mothers in Law
Mother of All Mothers in Law attacks Axela the lighthouse

* DICE ROLL *

Powerbomb rolls 5

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 3

Powerbomb faces Mother and utters his famous catchphrase that has totally not been stolen from another wrestler - "Whatcha Gonna Do When Powerbombamania Runs Wild on You!"
He run towards her and as she braces for impact, he instead skids to a halt and produces a bouquet of flowers as a gift.
Mother of All Mothers in Law shrieks and drops to her knees, weakened by the show of kindness.

* DICE ROLL *

Axela the lighthouse rolls 4

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 4

Mother of All Mothers in Law is raging and turns her ire towards Axela. Mother tries to petrify the lighthouse in mid-air foolishly forgetting that Axela is made of stone anyway.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Dwarf (24) Og'rialt gives his helmet a good whack for luck then runs down towards the ring and climbs in and strikes a battle pose.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Axela the lighthouse attacks Powerbomb
Og'rialt attacks Axela the lighthouse
Powerbomb attacks Axela the lighthouse
Mother of All Mothers in Law attacks Og'rialt

* DICE ROLL *

Axela the lighthouse rolls 5

Powerbomb rolls 10

Axela tries to command her depleted air force of pigeons to position herself above the humanoids below so that she can drop and squish them all.
Powerbomb has other ideas. He calls out to Og'rialt - "Make a back for me Dwarf" - runs and jumps using the hunched over Og'rialt for leverage to grab hold of the lighthouse in a tight embrace.
"Say hello to the boom!" There is a mighty explosion as Powerbomb detonates himself and Axela, showering those below with bricks and flesh.
The flesh immediately starts to pull together to reconstitute Powerbomb.

Axela the lighthouse is the other side of the wrestling ring from Fish and intermittently flashes her light beam into his eyes, much to his growing annoyance.

* DICE ROLL *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 7

Og'rialt rolls 7

Mother of All Mothers in Law looks Og'rialt up and down and tuts "Look at the state of you, you're hardly what I would call husband material. I wouldn't let you marry my dog let alone my daughter, if I had one!"
"I've seen better dressed tramps than you."

Og'rialt being a Dwarf just shrugs and smiles. Hard words have no effect on the even harder, stout race.

Stage 7 - Enter Borzoi, Will and Smith, Loxyklokyytx and Pat Ronizing

Another Dwarf (62) Borzoi races down to the ring, this one bald and dressed in a purple robe.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Og'rialt attacks Mother of All Mothers in Law
Borzoi attacks Powerbomb
Mother of All Mothers in Law attacks Og'rialt
Powerbomb attacks Mother of All Mothers in Law

* DICE ROLL *

Og'rialt rolls 5

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 10

Mother of All Mothers in Law looks at Og'rialt with disdain, "I won't waste anymore words on the likes of you".
She smiles and pulls her hand from behind her back. In it is the Swirling Apple Pie of Doom.
Og'rialt gulps and turns to run but there is no escaping the aim of the former shot put champion of the universe - Mother of All Mothers in Law.

With a deadeye throw, the apple pie splashes over Og'rialt's back. He screams as the molten filling eats through his armour and flesh to leave just bubbling bones behind.

Og'rialt reappears seated next to Calad, grumbling about never eating apple pie again.

* DICE ROLL *

Borzoi rolls 3

Powerbomb rolls 9

Borzoi looks on with anger at the demise of his fellow Dwarf and prepares to call on the blessing of his God to add in smiting this foul Hag. He is so distracted that he fails to notice Powerbomb has completely reformed behind him until he hears the whispered words "tick tock says the clock".
Borzoi gulps as he feels a tight embrace and Powerbomb gives a hearty laugh before exploding the pair of them into tiny pieces. Only half of those tiny pieces start to reform into a formidable wrestler again.

Borzoi is seated and rubbing his bald head in frustration.

* DICE ROLL *

Powerbomb rolls 6

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 10

Mother of All Mothers in Law watches the little bits of flesh moving across the canvas towards each other and muses "I seem to have run out of apples for my Swirling Apple Pie of Doom, whatever can I use instead?"
She smiles as she scoops up Powerbomb's flesh and puts it in her pre-baked pie crust filled with her secret recipe molten liquid. The liquid negates Powerbomb's regenerative ability and he doesn't even get to join his fellow defeated fighters in the seats until the pie is used.

Powerbomb is a pie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(36) Will and Smith slowly walks towards the ring while appearing to be arguing with himself. He is a curious sight as in his right hand he carries a smiths hammer melded to an anvil while in his left hand is a sharp dagger.
He whines "How can I make the perfect weapon when my hammer and anvil are melded together?" he then answers himself in a raspier voice "Perhaps if we were to cut ourselves a bit it will help us think?".

* DICE ROLL *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 11

Will and Smith rolls 10

As W&S enters the ring Mother of All Mothers in Law cocks an eyebrow and looks at her special pie that is trying to form itself into something else. She quips "At least you get to go out with a bang!" and laughs while throwing the pie.
W&S crouches behind the anvil as the pie hits and explodes with a mighty bang. W&S take a few minor cuts which seems to both pain and excite him.

Powerbomb is now seated and patting himself down to make sure nothing is missing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The alien assassin (90) Loxyklokyytx has stealthily made his way into the ring without anyone noticing.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Mother of All Mothers in Law attacks Loxyklokyytx
Loxyklokyytx attacks Mother of All Mothers in Law
Will and Smith attacks Loxyklokyytx

* DICE ROLL *

Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 5

Loxyklokyytx rolls 6

Loxyklokyytx sneaks up on Mother and sweeps her legs from under her, sending her crashing to the canvas. He warily eyes what he perceives to be a blabbering fool holding an anvil of all things.

* DICE ROLL *

Will and Smith rolls 3

Loxyklokyytx rolls 9

Will and Smith run at the assassin dragging the anvil with them and swinging it to smash into his head with a sickening thud. Only it wasn't Loxyklokyytx whose head just got smashed in but Will and Smith's as the aliens innate ability to swap places with a deadly adversary kicked in.
Will and Smith eyes roll up into his battered head as he lets out a faint "That felt so good..." then collapses to the canvas.

Will and Smith is sitting on his own having an argument with himself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The evil art historian (42) Pat Ronizing walks up to the ring and just before she climbs in she throws her head back to let out a little laugh "Muhahahahaha!"

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Pat Ronizing attacks Loxyklokyytx
Mother of All Mothers in Law attacks Pat Ronizing
Loxyklokyytx attacks Pat Ronizing

* DICE ROLL *

Pat Ronizing rolls 7

Loxyklokyytx rolls 7

Loxyklokyytx whips out a laser gun and fires at Pat but she manages to dive to one side just in time and starts to rummage through her art collection for a suitable response.


Mother of All Mothers in Law rolls 9

Pat Ronizing rolls 12

The presence of Mother of All Mothers in Law looms large behind Pat and the soul destroying monologue starts up "That is no job for a lady, you should be at hom..."
Pat knows she doesn't have much time but smiles as she finds the perfect painting to share with the old crone.

Pat Ronizing yanks the painting from her bag and raises it to Mother of All Mothers in Law face "Do you see anything of yourself in this masterpiece?"
The painting is Medusa by Caravaggio of some obscure little planet called Earth.
Mother of All Mothers in Law mouth drops open as the snakes move in the painting and the head locks eyes with her.

With an air of satisfaction Pat Ronizing, puts the painting back in her bag as the stone statue of Mother of All Mothers in Law looks on wordlessly.

Mother of All Mothers in Law is now in the crowd watching the remaining fights with a face like thunder.

Stage 8 - Enter Gerald of Red Deer, Blue Lightening, Ben Kii Nobi, The Bard and Quicktongue the Bard

A cheery Canadian non-fishing fisherman called (25) Gerald of Red Deer makes his way down to the ring. "How ya doing?" he calls out.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Loxyklokyytx attacks Gerald of Red Deer
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Pat Ronizing
Pat Ronizing attacks Gerald of Red Deer

* DICE ROLL *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 10

Loxyklokyytx rolls 12

The deadly and highly skilled assassin walks up to Gerald and asks him "You Canadians are meant to be the nicest people on the planet Earth. If this is so, can I have that amulet you are wearing?"
Gerald of Red Deer replies "Sure thing buddy! Here ya go" and hands him the amulet. Uzerumeral feels dominion over him pass to another being and is forced to rise from his seat.

* DICE ROLL *

Pat Ronizing rolls 2

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 6

Gerald calls out to Loxyklokyytx "Would you like to see my fishing technique, buddy? I've never actually been fishing but hey, how hard can it be?"
Gerald throws his fishing rod back behind his head where Pat Ronizing happens to be rummaging through her bag of paintings, looking for one that will dispose of the two adversaries in the ring.
The hook on the line catches in the painting that Pat is currently holding and tears it from bottom to top as Gerald throws his fishing line forward.

Pat Ronizing screams "What have you done you stupid Canuck!?", clutches her chest and collapses, quite dead.
"Geez, sorry aboot that!" Gerald walks over to see what happened and looks down at the torn painting in Pat's hand. It is a self portrait by her and the tear goes straight through her chest causing her to have a heart attack.

Pat is in the seats wondering how her evil masterplan was foiled by a Canadian of all people.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Unnoticed by anyone the little blue marble (20) Blue Lightening has rolled into the ring.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Blue Lightening attacks Loxyklokyytx
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Loxyklokyytx
Loxyklokyytx attacks Gerald of Red Deer

* DICE ROLL *

Blue Lightening rolls 9

Loxyklokyytx rolls 6

Blue Lightening rolls round and round the ring building up momentum before speeding up a corner post and flying back across the ring at head height. He shoots in Loxyklokyytx's right ear and bursts out the left, covered in brain matter.
Loxyklokyytx manages to mouth the words 'what just happened?' before dropping dead.
"Whoah!" exclaims Gerald of Red Deer as he slaps his hands over his ears.

Loxyklokyytx is in a ringside seat next to Pat Ronizing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A disturbance in the force is felt as (41) Ben Kii Nobi strides confidently towards the ring.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Ben Kii Nobi attacks Blue Lightening
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Blue Lightening
Blue Lightening attacks Gerald of Red Deer

* DICE ROLL *

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 4

Blue Lightening 3

Ben Kii takes out his Gunsaber - pssshhew - and aims for the little marble. Plasma projectiles smash into the canvas just in front or just behind Blue Lightening as he speeds frantically around the ring.

* DICE ROLL *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 4

Blue Lightening rolls 6

Blue Lightening stops by Gerald's feet. He looks down and thinks to himself 'are you really a marble or maybe you are actually a flavoursome gobstopper, ya?'.
Gerald picks up Blue Lightening and puts it in his mouth. He sucks on it for a bit but can only taste plasma smoke, so he decides to bite down.

"Garrgh!" Gerald of Red Deer spits out the marble and rubs his jaw, hoping that none of his teeth are broken. "Oooh, I think you really are a marble little fellow".

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With book of Prose tucked under one arm and quill behind his ear, (58) The Bard makes his way to the wrestling ring.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL*
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Ben Kii Nobi
The Bard attacks Blue Lightening
Blue Lightening attacks The Bard
Ben Kii Nobi attacks Blue Lightening

* DICE ROLL *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 8

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 8

Ben Kii Nobi waves his hand in front of his face and uses the force to project his words at the Canadian "You will lay down your arms and leave peacefully".
Gerald of Red Deer replies cheerfully "Oh ya, my weapons would be yours as life is too short, buddy. I just want to go fishing. I'm a fisherman who has never actually caught a fish before, although I sense that I have the ability to talk to the little fellows. What's that all aboot?"

Ben Kii Nobi wears a look of confusion, not knowing whether his powers just worked or not.

* DICE ROLL *

The Bard rolls 3

Blue Lightening rolls 4

Blue Lightening rolls to a stop at The Bard's feet. He looks down at the little marble and prepares to bamboozle it with one of his favourite Chaucer quotes -
“Love will not be constrain'd by mastery.
When mast'ry comes, the god of love anon
Beateth his wings, and, farewell, he is gone.
Love is a thing as any spirit free.”

The marble just sits there and The Bard is shook to his core by its complete lack of any reaction.

* DICE ROLL *

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 6

Blue Lightening rolls 5

Ben Kii Nobi decides that now is not the time for any finesse. He walks up to Blue Lightening, growls "Naff off" and gives it a good kick across the ring.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Bard's faith is restored as he spots (74) Quicktongue the Bard approaching the ring.

A sudden fiery explosion takes everyone by surprise as (1) Celia stands in its place in the centre of the ring.

As Quicktongue climbs into the ring and everyone is focused on the unexpected arrival of Celia, screeching of tires turns eyes back outside as (22) Slick Cat skids to a halt alongside in his car. He takes of his sunglasses, grins and climbs into the ring.

Yapping rings out as (71) Mr. Chip runs in and out of everyones legs.

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL* - Anyone who rolls a 2, 8 or 12 will not attack unless attacked themselves.
Quicktongue the Bard attacks The Bard
Celia attacks Ben Kii Nobi
Blue Lightening attacks The Bard
Gerald of Red Deer does not attack
Slick Cat attacks Ben Kii Nobi
Mr. Chip does not attack
The Bard attacks Quicktongue the Bard
Ben Kii Nobi attacks Gerald of Red Deer

* DICE ROLL *

Quicktongue the Bard rolls 6

The Bard rolls 6

Quicktongue faces the adversary he respects the most. He knows that this is no place for sentimentality if he is to win the contest.
He opens with a quote from Charles Dickens -
“It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humour.”

The Bard smiles and replies with -
“Good name in man and woman, dear my lord,
Is the immediate jewel of their souls:
Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
’twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
And makes me poor indeed.”

Quicktongue the Bard arches an eyebrow and nods in appreciation.

* DICE ROLL *

Celia rolls 7

Ben Kii Nobi rolls 3

Ben Kii lets his guard down as he watches the exchange between the two bards. Celia smiles and takes her chance. A whip of flame appears in her hand which she strikes Ben Kii in the back with.
He goes down, grimacing but turns and throws his hand forward sending a wave of force power towards where Celia stood. She is no longer there.
Ben looks up to see a fiery phoenix hurtle towards him and explode in a ball of flames, incinerating him in the process. Celia steps out of the flames and smiles.

Ben Kii Nobi is seated in the stands with a couple of old companions but is struggling to get the smell of burnt hair out of his nostrils.

* DICE ROLL *

Blue Lightening rolls 10

The Bard rolls 4

The Bard smiles at his worthy adversary, Quicktongue the Bard. He takes a step back but treads on a blue marble. He tries to regain his balance by throwing his arms out to the sides but the little marble rolls around under his foot. The Bard topples through the ropes and out of the ring and hits the concrete head first, knocking himself out.

The Bard is now in the crowd with an ice-pack on his head.

Stage 9 - Six fighters remain

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL* - Anyone who rolls a 2, 8 or 12 will not attack unless attacked themselves.

Mr. Chip attacks Blue Lightening
Gerald of Red Deer does not attack
Celia attacks Gerald of Red Deer
Slick Cat attacks Quicktongue the Bard
Blue Lightening attacks Quicktongue the Bard
Quicktongue the Bard does not attack

* DICE ROLL *

Mr. Chip rolls 8

Blue Lightening rolls 4

Blue Lightening rolls around the ring, picking up speed. It rolls up a corner post and shoots across the ring but is caught in midair by a yappy little dog.
Tail wagging, Mr. Chip races out of the arena with the marble in his mouth. He runs down the road to a nearby cemetery, weaves his way through a group of restless zombies and stops by an open grave.
In the grave he drops Blue Lightening before covering him with soil. He then urinates on the spot, gives a little growl and yap at a passing zombie and runs back to the wrestling ring, tail wagging all the way.

Blue Lightening is back ringside, albeit a bit muddy.

* DICE ROLL *

Celia rolls 6

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 6

Celia throws a fireball at Gerald's head. Just as she does, Gerald looks down at his feet "Ooh dang, my shoelaces are undone." Gerald bends down and the fireball passes over him harmlessly.

* DICE ROLL *

Slick Cat rolls 9

Quicktongue the Bard rolls 6

Slick Cat is smartly dressed as always. His suave demeanor is lessened a little as he staggers under the effects of alcohol and lets out a loud belch.
Quicktongue the Bard looks the drunkard up and down and sighs. He takes out his sharpened quills and starts weaving a dazzling show of swordsmanship with them.
Slick Cat hiccups, looks at Quicktongue and smiles "that reminds me of a film I once saw". Slick pulls out one of his antique pistols and shoots Quicktongue dead, right there.

Quicktongue the Bard finds himself seated next to The Bard and is pleased for the choice of company.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL* - Anyone who rolls a 2, 8 or 12 will not attack unless attacked themselves.

Celia attacks Gerald of Red Deer
Slick Cat attacks Mr. Chip
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Slick Cat
Mr. Chip does not attack

* DICE ROLL *

Celia rolls 9

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 10

Celia summons a sword of flame and charges at Gerald. Gerald is preoccupied, wondering where the little dog went to. He spins around looking for him and one of his fishing rods whips out behind him, hooking onto Celia's ear ring.
Celia gives a little shriek as she is yanked to the side by her ear.

* DICE ROLL *

Slick Cat rolls 5

Mr. Chip rolls 11

Slick Cat hisses at the smell of dog and looks around for the waggly-tailed little fellow, but he in nowhere to be seen.
There is a loud revving noise and the screetching of tyres, Slick turns around just in time to see his own car hurtling through the air at him, a little dog looking over the steering wheel.
Mr. Chip jumps out of the car just as it smashes into Slick Cat and carries him out of the ring.

Slick Cat is now in the crowd, grumbling about the oil stains on his snazzy suit.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*ATTACK ORDER DICE ROLL* - Anyone who rolls a 2, 8 or 12 will not attack unless attacked themselves.

Celia does not attack
Gerald of Red Deer attacks Celia
Mr. Chip attacks Gerald of Red Deer

* DICE ROLL *

Gerald of Red Deer rolls 5

Celia rolls 11

Celia is very frustrated with her encounters with the Canadian. She decides a more direct approach is needed having observed him in previous rounds.
Celia walks up to Gerald and orders him to open his mouth. Gerald replies "Oh ya, anything to oblige. We Canadians are proud of our helpfulness buddy. In fact, ther...." Celia shoves a fish into his mouth, glad to have shut him up.
She forces his mouth closed until he has to swallow then steps back.

Gerald of Red Deer gasps and says "Bleeurrgh! What was that all aboot, eh?" He goes red in the face as his throat swells up "Oh, dang..." he wheezes.
Gerald of Red Deer collapses to the canvas and lay very still. Celia takes a deep breath, glad to have finally beaten him. She notices Mother of All Mothers in Law out of the corner of her eye give an approving smile.

Gerald of Red Deer is sat next to a gargoyle in the crowd.

Final - Mr. Chip vs Celia

* DICE ROLL *

Mr. Chip rolls 9

Celia rolls 2

Celia hears yapping from behind and conjures fireballs in her hands. She spins to smite her foe only to be greeted by the biggest puppy-dog eyes the world has ever seen. Mr. Chip is sat there, tongue hanging out while his tail wags back and forth frantically.
Celia gets down on her knees and strokes the happy little dog. "I cannot hurt you, I guess this makes you the champion." Mr. Chip jumps up to lick her face then runs around the ring excitedly as the audience stands to applaud the victor.
While clapping Og'rialt notices his clothes have been replaced by a pink tutu. He glares at the smirking Shadowy figure in the alcove.

The Shadowy Ringmaster speaks "There we have your champion. He is neither the strongest, the smartest nor the scariest among you but one thing he does have is the eye of lady luck."
Mr. Chip finds the section of the ring he is standing on raise into the air as a giant dinosaur steak is placed next to him.
Salivating, Mr. Chip feels like a true champion as he takes his first bite of a worthy meal.

COMMUNITY AWARDS
A survey by Carradice

First of all, thanks to everyone who participated.
Without any further ado, lets us proceed to review the results. The first three stages are given.

Summary with graphics in the characters spreadsheet
Complete data from the survey  

COMBATANTS

001 - 010

001. FIGHTER: Celia - MANAGER: MemoryRunaMelody (previously known as SylvanFae)

Celia is an enchantress who shoots spells like fireball with ease, and conjure them with power of her mind. Her only weakness is cold steel metal, either touched as shackles or plunged through her heart as sword.

Celia is managed by MemoryRunaMelody

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs POGO
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs no_body

002. FIGHTER: Tim - MANAGER: TheBigCore

Tim is a wizard whose powers are elemental attacks, such as Thunder, Fire, and Ice.

His weaknesses:
-Close Combat
-Agility
-Dark Magic

Tim is managed by TheBigCore

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Kirthal

003. FIGHTER: Diggy - MANAGER: NickZah

Diggy is an anthropomorphic mole rat with two dangerous front teeth. He can hide under ground and jumping out for attack. His weaknesses - poor eyesight close to blindness.

Diggy is managed by NickZah

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs McCadbury

004. FIGHTER: Silvyr Erric - MANAGER: arsalan12

Silvyr Erric is an elven mage who can cast Ice spells. His weakness is anything related to fire.

Silvyr Erric is managed by arsalan12

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Wren
(R2) vs Generic Superhero

005. FIGHTER: McCadbury - MANAGER: AB2012

McCadbury is approximately 6ft tall, has a huge moustache and dark purple skin. His special ability is an aura that turns any enemy within it into chocolate after which he promptly devours them growing +10% in size & power each time. His only known weakness is poison.

McCadbury is managed by AB2012

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Diggy
(R2) vs Mechanizer
BATTLE ROYALE
(R3) 2nd to enter the ring (stage 2) - Defeated by Skreetch Bonefoot (stage 2) - Total dice rolls: 4

006. FIGHTER: Skreetch Bonefoot - MANAGER: Lone_Scout

Skreetch Bonefoot is a crippled and short-sighted goblin. His main weakness is that he somehow always manages to hurt himself in ridiculous ways before the fight: Starts every combat injured.

Skreetch Bonefoot is managed by Lone_Scout

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Belphegor
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs Nexophorm
BATTLE ROYALE
(R3) 5th to enter the ring (stage 2) - Defeated by Jack the Knack (stage 2) - Total dice rolls: 2

007. FIGHTER: Matilda Zendias - MANAGER: BlackMageJ

Matilda Zendias is a minotaur alchemist. She fights by throwing glass spheres full of potions and poisions. Her favourite concoction is one that makes the target's feet levitate while increasing the weight of their gear, normally resulting in a foe being stuck upside-down in midair. Her secret weakness is that she's allergic to all known alchemical catalysts, meaning she can never use beneficial potions on herself, and would be affected even more negatively if one of her spheres splashed on her. Fortunately, minotaurs are strong, and she has a very good throwing arm.

Matilda Zendias is managed by BlackMageJ

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Borzoi

008. FIGHTER: Mr. Fiddlesticks - MANAGER: BranjoHello

Mr. Fiddlesticks is a middle aged human in old torn clothes.
Power: Turning pockets inside out and making a sad face which makes everyone that's looking cry very hard.
Weakness: Doesn't have a dime, obviously. In weak physical/mental shape since hasn't eaten for days.

Mr. Fiddlesticks is managed by BranjoHello

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Lily
Was almost voted back into the tournament, but lost in a dice roll with Osen.

009. FIGHTER: Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (Dr. Stone) - MANAGER: Enebias

Grndrgnrrgrlbdr (from now on Dr. Stone) is part of a sentient species coming from planet RRRULGRBRRGDRR composed entirely of inorganic materials, mostly minerals in the core with a good amount of metal growing as a thick external armor.
It has been recently classified as the very first non-carbon based life form by Earth scientists, yet the "Rockies" have been around for billion of years, actually pioneering space travels by riding asteroids and comets in their own prehistory.
Since they have absolutely no need for food or water, being able to reshape themselves at will (exception made for their innermost crystal, which acts like a brain or a processor core unit), they really didn't care to develop technology until the rest of the universe started coming close.
Gone are the good old days where they could explore Space undisturbed and come back home from their trips a few millions year later, now everything goes so fast!

Dr. Stone is the first xeno-archeo-biologist of its species, traveling wherever it can find new civilizations to record their uses, history and trivia.

Very gentle, educated and with a bright, open mind, it never rushes into a fight... mostly because it's virtually indestructible, being that it can reshape at will and form armor so thick a nuclear blast would be powerless.
Its real enemy comes from gravity: more often than not, it's way too heavy to assume a stable resistant form in 1G or higher environments, so it's forced to stay smaller and leave its energy core (source of its individuality) much more exposed than it would like.
It's a real pacifist though, so it hopes it won't have to worry about that. The strategy is "waiting it out", since he can move freely and transform into every inorganic surface, travelling to the center of the planet and waiting for centuries to do their course included.

Dr. Stone is managed by Enebias

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs He Jin
(R2) vs Jack the Knack

010. FIGHTER: Bug - MANAGER: real.geizterfahr

Bug doesn't have any special powers, but people often overlook him. And when they finally find him, things already went horribly wrong for them. He confuses them and their actions just don't turn out as intended anymore. This'll eventually drive them crazy.

His weaknesses: Mere mortals can't really get rid of him, but... they can just walk around him, which'll prevent him from showing up. And if they can get in contact with his creators, they'll give them the tools to patch him up - even though he is not even hurt - and make him disappear once and for all :'(

Bug is managed by real.geizterfahr

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Natali

011 - 020

011. FIGHTER: Nexophorm - MANAGER: erbello

Nexophorm is an ugly drooling creature from unknown planet.
Special Powers: Martial Arts Master
Weaknesses: Magic Spells

Nexophorm is managed by erbello

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Uncle Jimmy
(R2) vs Skreetch Bonefoot

012. FIGHTER: Mafon - MANAGER: OHMYGODJCABOMB

Mafon (*) is a crazy ex-DJ who replaced his arms with cybernetic prostheses containing parts from Soviet synthesizers called "Polivoks".

With these prostheses, he can generate directional, destructive sound waves that can even rip an enemy apart if both arms are combined for a powerful attack.

His main weakness is electrical attacks, which can disable his prostheses (each separately or both at once).

Mafon in managed by OHMYGODJCABOMB

* - Mafon is a Russian slang analogue of boombox/ghettoblaster.

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Scott Arnold

013. FIGHTER: Kayla - MANAGER: InSaintMonoxide

Kayla is a purple female monkey named Kayla. She is wielding dual pistols and is very acrobatic. Because of her experience with climbing trees, she is very good at outgrappling enemies in close quarters combat as well. Unfortunately, it is a rather useless skill as she is incredibly ticklish, which is why she avoids melee.

Kayla is managed by InSaintMonoxide

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Rock
(R2) vs Henry

014. FIGHTER: 010110101001010101011101 (5A955D) - MANAGER: Vythonaut

010110101001010101011101 (also known as 5A955D to friends) is a RAM chip. Not your usual kind of RAM, no, but instead a sentient race of RAM chips whose existence serves only one purpose: to support the entire universe matrix and guarantee flawless performance physics & graphics wise.

Unique powers
- Overclocking: it boosts its performance to achieve faster data speeds

Weakness
- Computational load. Take asteroids for example: as much as the universe is optimized, these little bon-of-sitches can produce millions upon millions of tiny particles by crashing to other asteroids / planets etc., whose orbits have then to be computed by the universe CPU. The load they produce can became quite critical, to the point that the whole universe can be in danger of a lockup.

010110101001010101011101 is managed by Vythonaut

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Circuit
(R2) vs Will and Smith

015. FIGHTER: Belphegor - MANAGER: Melvinica

Belphegor is a drummer.
He can throw drum sticks very rapidly aiming for the opponent's eyes and other sensible body parts.
His weakness is loud disco music.

Belphegor is managed by Melvinica

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Skreetch Bonefoot
(R2) TBD vs Lupos

016. FIGHTER: Jafs - MANAGER: bluethief

Jafs is a human male. He has the ability to stop time for 10 seconds, enabling him to deal all the damage he wants. As for weaknesses, he's no physically very strong and the cooldown time for him to be able to stop time again is 2 minutes.

Jafs is managed by bluethief

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs H4096 

017. FIGHTER: SubSub - MANAGER: sanscript

Subsub is a hideous but charming gaming mouse. It has a cable-whip for its normal weapon, and its superpower is that it can sterilize everything within its range but it takes a long time to charge up depending on remaining health and how much damage taken, and it prefer smooth surfaces or else it moves very slowly. SubSub doesn't speak like most trash, instead he let others know what he feels telepathically... if he feels you're worthy of his presence and respects you.

Special weaknesses are:
Power fluctuations
Cookies
Fluids
Dirty hands with tomato sauce

Subsub is managed by sanscript

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Lyron 
(R2) vs POGO

018. FIGHTER: Rock - MANAGER: argamasa

Rock is a rock. It is obvious that its power is toughness, its various sides are perfect for hiding with the environment. The best battle is the one that is not battle. But if someone attacks it, its surface is toxic and can cause deaths just by touching it. Enemies must be on the lookout to fight him.

Rock is managed by argamasa

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Kayla

019. FIGHTER: Lupos - MANAGER: igorche9

Lupos is a warrior-wizard. He can adopt the powers and abilities of any animal in his proximity. Weakness: the blood of a dead wolf.

Lupos is managed by igorche9

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs The Living Vegetable
(R2) TBD vs Belphegor

020. FIGHTER: Blue Lightening - MANAGER: Ixamyakxim

Blue Lightening is a marble. It's name was given by the 5 year old who owns him (amoung many others), for the shiny nuanced blues running in swirls throughout.

You could accidentally step on him and fall down the stairs, maybe you swallow him by mistake and choke. Perhaps he falls from somewhere very high up.

His weakness are - he's just a freaking marble. No more, no less.

Blue Lightening is managed by Ixamyakxim

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mõlhbëk 
(R2) vs H4096

021 - 030

021. FIGHTER: UG - MANAGER: servobeupstry

In his own words:

"MY NAME UG. ME STRONG. ME LIKE HITTING. UG GOT BIG CLUB TO HIT YOU WITH. LOOK, BIG CLUB! NICE AND HEAVY!.

ME CLEVER. UG MAKE FIRE, REAL CLEVER! UG BANG ROCKS TOGETHER AND MAKE FIRE. SEE? CLEVER UG.

UG NOT LIKE READING THOUGH. READING HARD. NO BOOKS! ME HIT BOOKS WITH CLUB. BURN WRITING WITH FIRE. THROW ROCKS AT SIGNS. WORDS GO AWAY! NO READING!"

UG is managed by servobeupstry

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs April Ryan
(R2) vs Scott Arnold

022. FIGHTER: Slick Cat - MANAGER: Oddeus

Slick Cat is a slick gentleman cat-assassin. His job is killing absconding debtors for the IRS. His super powers are fancy suits and antiquated pistols that need hard-to-find ammo. He is constantly drunk, because he orders hard liquor at every opportunity. But this doesn´t scare off the ladies, who can´t resist his oily charm.



He uses to drive absurdly conspicuous super-cars, and since he is not able to keep work and pleasure apart, it happened more than once that he accidentally propelled my date with the ejection seat out of the car.
His only weakness is friendly fire from my jealous colleagues."

Slick Cat is managed by Oddeus

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Karpo
(R2)  vs Metälingus

023. FIGHTER: Jason "Jennifer" Lee - MANAGER: muddysneakers

Jason "Jennifer" Lee is a naked mall rat (not to be confused with a naked mole rat). His special powers are loitering in front of stores and getting free samples at the food court. His weakness is mall security especially Kevin James on a Segway.

Jason "Jennifer" Lee is managed by muddysneakers

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs ninja golem
(R2) vs Mr. Chip

024. FIGHTER: Og'rialt - MANAGER: gogtrial34987

Og'rialt is a Dwarf by birth, and a Brigand by profession, skilled in setting (and avoiding) ambushes. He carries a large collection of specialized traps, yet somehow never seem to find any use for them. He does however make great use of my ever-expanding collection of magical weapons and trinkets, which have gotten him out of many a tight situation. He has been wandering the world for the last year, trying to track down his great friend Beldarion, who borrowed one of his books but failed to return it. Every time he has tracked him down so far, he manages to ditch Og'rialt before he can ask him about that book, which puzzles Og'rialt greatly, as surely he'd love to spend more time with him? (His greatest weakness is undoubtedly his relentless optimism.)

Og'rialt is managed by gogtrial34987

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Calad
(R2) vs Celeste

025. FIGHTER: Gerald of Red Deer - MANAGER: TheDudeLebowski

Gerald of Red Deer (Alberta, Canada) is a a saltwater fisherman in landlocked Red Deer, although he has two fishing rods. One is for saltwater, the other for lake water. He can talk to fish, or at least he's confident enough he can, although the only fish he's met up to now have been dead on a plate. His biggest weakness is that he is allergic to fish, shellfish, crustaceans and politicians. Gerald hopes to become a fishmonger one day if he can figure out a way to overcome his allergies. See attached image.



Gerald of Red Deer is managed by TheDudeLebowski

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Pneuma
(R2) vs Uzerumeral

026. FIGHTER: Mr. Nice Guy - MANAGER: andysheets1975

Mr. Nice Guy's power is that he's a friend to all puppies, kittens, bunnies, and ponies. His main weakness is that he absolutely can't handle being punched in the face.

Mr. Nice Guy is managed by andysheets1975

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Todd Ler
(R2) vs Lillith

027. FIGHTER: Lillith - MANAGER: Catac1ysm

Lillith is a pretty little girl. Her scream can deliver a lot of damage to opponent and world around. But she is too weak in close combat and starts crying when under attack (defense -1 for 5 seconds).

Lillith is managed by Catac1ysm

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Fish
(R2) vs Mr. Nice Guy
BATTLE ROYALE
(R3) 6th to enter the ring (stage 3) - Defeated by <censored> (stage 3) - Total dice rolls: 3

028. FIGHTER: ninja golem - MANAGER: frost0

ninja golem is a stone construct brought to life by alchemist's magic - a golem. He is big and heavy. Hits hard. Passes through a wall like a tank. But this particular golem decided he wants to become a ninja. So he tries his best to be stealthy and fails miserably at that. He could beat his enemies with sheer strenght, but that is not the way a real shinobi fights. So he tries to hide in shadows and make sneak attacks, but he is always detected. Yet, he doesn't want to give up, he will be a ninja! Only thing that goes for him is his hard exterior that protects him from harm. So ninja golem joins the fight club.

ninja golem is managed by frost0

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Jason "Jennifer" Lee

029. FIGHTER: Kyp - MANAGER: aCyborg

Kyp is a Cyborg who is modified to have legs to give him both speed and upward mobility and can do lightning punches

His weaknesses are:
Water, if wet he may do self damage with his lightning powers
fear of hurting cute things like kittens, candy and Anime girls (does not find any dog like animal cute unfortunately)

Kyp is managed by aCyborg

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Powerbomb

030. FIGHTER: Wren - MANAGER: Krimzon14

Wren is a puckish rogue. Their weapon of choice is a blade that can alter it's length, so it can be as short as a dagger or as long as a rapier. The blade's width stays relatively the same, so it can't turn into, say, an ultra greatsword or something equally ridiculous, so it's always a light weight weapon, but a very useful one nonetheless. Also, they have a special blindfold that let's them alter their face to look like someone else, but only the face, and if someone touches Wren's face or gets way, way too close, the illusion will break/be easily seen, so Wren has to be careful when trying to trick people with it. Very useful for trying to escape dangerous situations/hiding in crowds. The sword's limited ability and the ease in which their special blindfold's magic can be revealed is part of their weakness, the other is that Wren only has simple leather armour, making for poor protection when struck. Wren is also rather clumsy, which is not an ideal trait for a sneaky rogue.

Wren is managed by Krimzon14

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Silvyr Erric

031 - 040

031. FIGHTER: Osen - MANAGER: Punington

Osen is the first machine-human-machine aesthete malware with a weakness for any sublime expression of art and beauty. Throughout years of observation, learning, and propagation, Osen has developed some sort of unexpected superpower, the capacity to amplify any neurological response its host has towards anything that Osen has deemed morally, emotionally, and spiritually enlightening. At the same time, whatever is declared lacking aesthetic value is suppressed, thus making the host ignore or diminish any stimuli that's not within the dominion of the rightful and the beautiful.



Osen is managed by Punington

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Will and Smith
Voted back into the tournament (won in a dice roll with Mr. Fiddlesticks).
(R2) vs Katmeleonpus

032. FIGHTER: Scott Arnold - MANAGER: sasuke12

Scott Arnold is a 6 feet tall, athletic build man in his late 20s who works as a bank manager.
He has a strange ability that he calls ‘event negation’. The user of this power can take any event that has happened and revert it back to the state that it was previously in, as if the event never happened thus effectively undoing any changes that occurred in set event. This could range from something as simple as regenerating an arm that has already been severed to rejecting death itself for the purposes of resurrection. Scott can also negate the bonds of molecules to sever matter.

His weakness is that he is a normal human male and not some being with super strength or enhanced physical attributes.

Scott Arnold is managed by sasuke12

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mafon
(R2) vs UG

033. FIGHTER: Mother of All Mothers in Law - MANAGER: Sulibor

Not much is known about Mother of all Mothers in Law, as there are few brave enough to ask her the questions, and even fewer of them live long enough to tell the story.

Some say Qin Shi Huang started work on Great Wall of China to stop Mother of all Mothers in Law from visiting him. Other say, that her world tour in last century caused Great Depression.

One thing is clear. Mothers in law are not born. Mothers in law are made. Providing underground education and correspondence courses, Mother of all Mothers of Law shares her knowledge. Each alumna joins the ranks of Secret Society of Mothers in Law, infiltrating all organizations and structures, as even members of Illuminati , Reptilians and Flat Earthers have mothers in law.

Mothers in Law are among us. And they have a plan.

Strengths/powers:
Mother of All Mothers in Law gaze: Causes petrification
Have you ever faced death? Death faced Mother of All Mothers in Law once, and he made a promise to himself that he would never make the same mistake again.

Whatever-you-do-I-would-do-it-better tirade: Causes confusion and increases critical failure of any action performed by opponent.
Mother in Law starts her tirade on any action her opponent is performing, decreasing his or hers confidence and self-esteem.
I know it is overpowered skill , but good luck trying to point it out to her.

Swirling Apple Pie of Doom (slightly burnt, but don’t you dare to mention it): long range projectile
It is a Mother of All Mothers in Law sweet secret how ordinary ingredients from grocery store can be turned into hardest substance known to mankind. Mother of All Mothers in Law serves it while hot. With dead eye precision up to 200 meters.

Weaknesses:
- Flowers
- Chocolates
- Kind words

Mother of All Mothers in Law is managed by Sulibor

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Aestridr
(R2) vs April Ryan

034. FIGHTER: Uzerumeral - MANAGER: TT_TT_TT_TT

Uzerumeral is an ancient Gargoyle which ventures the world freely since his master has passed.
His powers are that he can obviously cannot fly and as he is made of stone, so he is really sturdy. Wounds caused by his claws may turn affected beings into stone as well. To deceive his enemies he may turn into a human form.
While living for a long a time has made him able to sustain sunlight at all, the sun still causes him quite the pain and is hard to endure and weakens him. Also his master used an amulet to control him. Since he died it was hidden away at a secret place by Uzerumeral but can't be destroyed by himself so it is hidden for eternity. If it ever to be found he might be controlled by it again but one cannot know for sure as his mind was not bend by the Amulet in a long time...

Uzerumeral is managed by TT_TT_TT_TT

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Vladimir
(R2) vs Gerald of Red Deer

035. FIGHTER: Axela the lighthouse - MANAGER: Orkhepaj

Axela the lighthouse is only 6 and already the brightest house in the town, no wonder she always imagined a bigger life in the city as a food inspector. But there is a problem she has no legs.
To elevate this problem she started to capture pigeons, now she has enough to start her adventure as the flying lighthouse.

Weapons: mass, lightbeam, pigeon fleet
Defense: wall , pigeon shit
Weakness: cant walk, young still growing

Axela the lighthouse is managed by Orkhepaj

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Michael Mustache
(R2) vs Lily

036. FIGHTER: Will and Smith - MANAGER: ywzywz

Will and Smith has 2 souls. One is masochist , other is perfectionist. every turn when he takes damage there is a coin toss to know which soul the capture body. The masochist guy wants pain and hits for half damage himself every turn. The other guy has %50 chance to hit critic.

Will is a cool guy but he likes to push his will you know. He has a collection of two sides sharp things. like axes or blades

Smith is a smith. He made weapons for Will but he is never satisfied because he wants to create a perfect weapon. He has just a little hammer but that hammer got stuck in the anvil and they melted together.

Yeah Will and Smith.

Sorry guys you will lose.
Will and Smith is managed by ywzywz

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Osen
(R2) vs 010110101001010101011101 (5A955D)

037. FIGHTER: Pneuma - MANAGER: Mister.Wolf

Pneuma wears a cloak weaved of reservedness and the finest observation of Murphy's Law, which others perceive as an outline of awkwardness, a trait that hides his true abilities from the casual onlooker.

His superpower consists in absorbing oxygen from his surroundings, and gracefully attaching carbon to it. This ability was gained through a complex ritual of birthing, which empowered his body to be born with tiny creatures of the mitochondria tribe within its cells. The small-sized mito tribe is known for tirelessly working to transmute carbohydrates into carbon dioxide, water, and energy... this form of alchemy reduces the amount of resources enemies have available to absorb, thus reducing opposing energy. This combination allows Pneuma to potentially succeed where less energized people fail.

But this also comes as a curse and weakness, as this conjured carbon harms not only his enemies but also close-ones and friends. During a long journey of penance for this, he met and adopted Phyto, a plantoid lifeform that is shielded by a ceramic encasing that it keeps around its body. Up until he met Pneuma, Phyto was unaware of his own power, which perfectly completes Pneuma's... to convert carbon dioxide back into oxygen, through an innate form of magic passed down by its ancestors (known to scholars of the Unknown as photosynthesis). Besides healing those affected by Pneuma's carbon dioxide, Phyto is able to grow and shapeshift the carbon into extensions for itself, such as roots and stems, leaves and fruits. Legend of its ancestors spoke of great and powerful titans, some taller than buildings... but Phyto is still exploring the limits of the newfound ability.

Adventures await within the random encounters!

Pneuma is managed by Mister.Wolf

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Gerald of Red Deer

038. FIGHTER: (No name provided) - MANAGER: MysterD

A robotic ninja dragon that spits fire, swords & shurikens!

This nameless character is managed by MysterD

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mechanizer

039. FIGHTER: POGO - MANAGER: zaMNal

POGO is a unique creature that has 6 types of attacks based on dice-roll RNG.
While 5 of the attacks increasingly damage the opponent up to 99,999 damage (it's strength) based on the number rolled, the 6-th attack somehow heals the opponent (it's weakness).

POGO is managed by zaMNal

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Celia
(R2) vs SubSub

040. FIGHTER: Mechanizer - MANAGER: blastradius

Mechanizer is a sentient AI a bored programmer thought up in a daydream who suddenly came to life when the programmer fell asleep on his keyboard and his drool touched his keyboard, throwing shocks everywhere in a very dramatic fashion, and tragically killing the programmer in the process. But he lives on as Mechanizer. Mechanizer cannot be stopped, he cannot be reasoned with, he will stop at nothing to fulfill his mission: erasing every hard drive on earth on every device. Mechanizer can take control of any device imaginable. The only thing that can stop Mechanizer is someone who can banish the programmer's soul to the afterlife. How would they do that? They'll have to figure that out for themselves.

Mechanizer is managed by blastradius

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs MysterD
(R2) vs McCadbury

041 - 050

041. FIGHTER: Ben Kii Nobi - MANAGER: BenKii

Ben Kii Nobi is a Human Jedi/Battle Mage -- Nuetral Good
Weapon -- A glowing blue Gunsaber ( imagine a lightsaber but it can also shoot plasma projectiles.)
Powers -- He has a deep connection with the Force and has dabbled with both the light and dark side paths creating a unique blend of offensive and defensive abilities which include:
Healing (heals from wounds at a much faster rate)
Mind Trick (can disorient or outright create illusions in the target's mind)
Barrier (creates a protective barrier around the user shielding from all harm. Can only be used for a few seconds)
Lightning ( deals lightning damage to all targets in a 60 degree cone in front of the user up to 10 meters away)
Speed ( speeds up the user 2.5x faster)
Telekinesis (move objects remotely and fling them towards others)
Dark Rage ( enters into a berserk state temporarily increasing strength. Leaves user completely drained of force for a few minutes



Strengths -- Ben Kii Nobi can get in close with saber dueling or stand back and shoot his target with the gun portion of his saber. He is further complimented with a diverse knowledge of force abilities

Weaknesses -- Using too many force abilities can drain Ben's force pool leaving him unable to use his abilities for awhile. Also, certain devices or creatures can inhibit his connection with the Force making it impossible to cast his powers.

Ben Kii Nobi is managed by BenKii

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Stamat
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs Zonk

042. FIGHTER: Pat Ronizing - MANAGER: Dogmaus

Pat Ronizing is an evil art hystorian and collector. After she was hit in the head by a falling cursed painting she acquired the power to make attacks materializing the energy of the emotions that are caused in people by looking at the paintings she owns. Her weak point is that the source of her power is tied to her paintings collection, that can be phisically destroyed.

Pat Ronizing is managed by Dogmaus

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Petaminx
(R2) vs Malicia

043. FIGHTER: April Ryan - MANAGER: finkleroy

An indoor housecat who can read humans' minds but is easily distracted by string and grated parmesan.



April Ryan is managed by finkleroy

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs UG
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs Mother of all Mothers in Law

044. FIGHTER: no_body - MANAGER: Seb369

no_body is... well, we better let no_body explain it:

"""I am nobody, nobody is like me, nobody is perfect.
I can become anything, anybody I like, any matter until next day when I do not remember who I am.
Special ability: mirroring all skills, instant regeneration, jumping over time.
Weak points: when fighting a female, I heal her when her health drops to 25%,
and when fighting a male player, I injure myself every third round to balance our health : D """



no_body is managed by Seb369

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Terzek
(R2) vs Celia

045. FIGHTER: Uncle Jimmy - MANAGER: TheGrand547

Uncle Jimmy is a former security guard turned robotics researcher after he was injured in defending a banana plantation and required robotics parts to make him whole again. He now uses his intimate bond with his robotics to drive research in trying to better meld man and machine. His weaknesses include magnets, water, and birds who liked to annoy him at the plantation.

Uncle Jimmy is managed by TheGrand547

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Nexophorm

046. FIGHTER: Lily - MANAGER: ZiTheBookishGamer

Lily is a cerberus and she’s great at guarding and causing fear by baring her fangs and barking (at the same time, since she has 3 heads), rarely having to bite. Her weakness is food. If you have food, she’ll forget her duty and resort to domestic dog behavior to get the food.

Lily is managed by ZiTheBookishGamer

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mr. Fiddlesticks
(R2) vs Axela the Lighthouse

047. FIGHTER: Tobi - MANAGER: Lionel212008

Tobi is a good boy. Not!

He has the powers of Schrodinger's cat (omnipotence/immortality) and can kill my foes with hillariousity (laughter).

He also has a special belt on its person at all times, which is like the bat belt, and has the power of the deus ex machina.

Finally, it is also drop dead gorgeous and can summon Cthulhu.

Its weaknesses are women and the narcissistic tendencies that it exhibits.


Tobi is managed by Lionel212008

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs <character entry 5>
(R2) vs <censored>

048. FIGHTER: Fish - MANAGER: Genocide2099

Fish is a half-orc berserker. He was once a poor wanderer who became rich after finding chests full of gems with his fellow adventurers. He grew tired of his luxurious lifestyle and has set off once again looking for a fight.

He wields his trusty 2 handed great axe that he once used to chop off a kraken's tentacle. He still has his chain armour and 2 healing potions from his previous adventure.

As a half-orc berserker, he has great strength and the tendency to go berserk in the heat of battle.

His weakness is he has an extreme case of OCD (obsessive–compulsive disorder).

Fish is managed by Genocide2099

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Lillith

049. FIGHTER: Choopa - MANAGER: zlaywal

Choopa is a 6 foot all-green fighting male junglefowl with extremely sharp beak and fighting talon spur. Prone to short temper, his first act of defense is actually a high pitched crow that can stunned and lullaby their opponents. Also have a high health regeneration so small cuts won't bother him.

His weakness is appetite and gluttony. When hungry, the only thing on his mind was food. And when his stomach filled, he just want to go to high places and take a nap.

Choopa is managed by zlaywal

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Lemmy

050. FIGHTER: Lemmy - MANAGER: MaxFulvus

Lemmy is a lemur, captured in the forests of Madagascar by scientists of a multinational pharmaceutical company named the Sintek Industries. Sintek is leaded by Elexis Sinclaire, a sexy but mad scientist who is secretly engaged in organized crime and planning to make a radical artificial evolutionary advance to the human race by using advanced chemical agent with mutagenetic properties, U4. Ultimately, she secretly plans to conquer the world with her mutants. But before spreading chemical agent on humans, she decided to test it on innocent animals.
Lemmy was the first guinea pig to receive U4. As planned, he became a mutant, smarter, stronger, faster, but also more aggressive and hideous, nothing more in common with a cute lemur.

He acquired special powers, the alpha of a new army of mutant animals to help Sintek to ""convince"" governments to enter in a new era of evolution for species.

But Lemmy became quickly out of control at the point Elexis concluded the experiment was a threat and decided to kill him before he takes his revenge of her. Lemmy couldn't be killed so easily and escaped from Elexis Penthouse, after neutralized a dozen of guards with his new abilities. Physically reinforced but mentally broken, Lemmy has now one purpose : find Elexis and kill her, slowly, painfully but also every one who will be in his way !

Lemmy has 3 special powers :

- his scream can paralysed his foes by sending them waves of pain and letting them unable to move or attack
- he is able to remain invisible for a short period of time, for attacking slyly or for a retreat
- thanks to his scent glands, he can spread a dreadful mutagenic cloud around him, causing horrible diseases and infections

Lemmy has one weakness. Because of his terrible new condition, he is psychically disturbed and sometimes becomes lunatic, having visions of his earlier life as a lemur, unconscious of the reality around him, which is a real problem during a fight.

Lemmy is managed by MaxFulvus

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Choopa
(R2) vs Borzoi

051 - 060

051. FIGHTER: Celeste - MANAGER: drxenija

Celeste is the world's tiniest kitten but with incredible speed and intelligence.
With IQ 999, it is able to predict the future and knows exactly what its opponents' moves before they act upon it.
Its nickname is ""Paw-Oracle""

Its professor (creator) realized how small Celeste was and decided to give it a custom-made collar made of Proteus shapeshifting material that adjusts to be my exact size which I can never take it off nor cut it. It grants Celeste a special ability to summon a force field at any moment that can reflect any attack for Celeste's survival.

He was so thoughtful! Celeste heard that under the right circumstances, it involuntarily morphs into a 200 ft kitten with strength to lift up 50 firetrucks! Celeste still doesn't know what will trigger its transformation yet though... Celeste is not looking forward to it

But even a professor can make mistakes.
For some reason, Celeste cannot resist a ball of yarn dangling in a pendulum fashion!
But when Celeste becomes a giant, you better find a gigantic ball of yarn that's fit for a 200ft kitten!

Quote: ""I must... play with it!""

Celeste is managed by drxenija

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mage Torvas
(R2) vs Og'rialt

052. FIGHTER: Cicada Buzz - MANAGER: kai2

Powers: Puzzle-solving, avoiding people, eating ungodly amounts of pizza pockets in one sitting, and I can quote every line of dialogue verbatim from the first season of Mr. Robot.

Weaknesses: Spiders, group photos, Mountain Dew Code Red, Charlies Angles episodes, and 'Chan rabbit holes.

Cicada Buzz is managed by kai2

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Peagor
(R2) vs Hazaradam

053. FIGHTER: Eiden - MANAGER: kusumahendra

Eiden is a hunter from a small village. They use short sword, crossbow, and traps. Eiden focuses in agility over power to fight. They do not have special moves, but if there's something special about them is that Eiden has quick thinking that allows them to escape most dangerous situations.

Eiden is managed by kusumahendra

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Random John Doe
(R2) vs Powerbomb

054. FIGHTER: Lazarus the Lion - MANAGER: Lazarus_03

Behavior:
• Mostly unaggressive unless taunted
• Occasionally wanders outside of his domain to feed and lurk.
-----------
Arsenals:
• Left Fang and Right Fang
- Unbreakable-Armor-piercing horrors for unsuspecting invaders.
• Claws
- Shorter than the Fangs but has longer reach because of the leg (arm).
- Licking them provides a literal ""taste of victory"".
-----------
Talents:
• Territorial
- Fighting within his zone grants him terrain advantages.
• Agile
- Innately swift with absolutely no armor to weigh him down.
+20% evasion
• Hunter Instincts
- ""The hunter knows when and where to strike its prey.""
+30% accuracy
+25% critical chance
• Immortal
- ""He never dies; he respawns…""
-----------
Weaknesses:
• Unarmored
- 0% resistance to any type of damage.
• Tameable
- When certain conditions are met.
• Humorous Characters
- Laughing leaves him off his guard — has 10% chance to inflict stomachache.
• Susceptible to Shield Bash ""skill""
- The Shield comprises of extremely long and continuous unformatted string of text. (ALL CAPS DEALS TRIPLE DAMAGE)
• Dogs
- …These beings are terrifyingly adorable to munch on.

Lazarus the Lion is managed by Lazarus_03

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs <censored>

055. FIGHTER: Bena - MANAGER: Vingry

Bena is a wandering skilled swordsman who hates magic. His strength lies in his masterful use of swords of any kind, as his adventure has allowed him to learn the different styles and techniques of swordsmanship to better equip himself with more options of fighting when faced with different opponents he encounters in his aimless travel.

His weakness is magic. Bena's disgust for magic users is reflected in his very quick duels against them in which he would immediately forfeit before the fights even began. However, If he were left with no other options, he'd reluctantly fight with half the effort and concentration he normally exerts in any non-magic duels.

Bena is managed by Vingry

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs iPeach the 12th

056. FIGHTER: Aris - MANAGER: PMPMGamer

Aris is a magician who uses his magic to face someone standing in your way.. He manages to put the adeversarios to sleep, paralyze them or hit them with a tremendously deadly ray.
On the other hand, he has a low defense so he tries to protect himself with his spells.

Aris is managed by PMPMGamer

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Isidoro Galvan
(R2) vs Loxyklokyytx

057. FIGHTER: Mr. Fluffy Death - MANAGER: luksmk

Mr. Fluffy Death is a battle hamster with cybernetic limbs and adamantium teeth, he's small and can be stealthy when he wants to, but usually he doesn't want to and goes full berserk



here he is destroying a foolish human:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf06WJQ4FnE

Mr. Fluffy Death is managed by luksmk

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Ben, The Flywherever Mosquito
(R2) vs Calad

058. FIGHTER: The Bard - MANAGER: Mortius1

The Bard is a wordsmith. Words have power, and this hero uses them to fight evil. There is a long history of such warriors - no superhero comic is complete without a punch that goes KAPOW. Excessively long words can also be used to trip people and to try them up.

This character's powers have no effect against the illiterate, or anyone that doesn't speak English. Poorly structured prose will also send him into an uncontrollable rage.

He is the epitome of his profession. He is known only as The Bard.

The Bard is managed by Mortius1

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Lifthrasil 
(R2) vs Kirthal

059. FIGHTER: Henry - MANAGER: 51nikopol

Henry is an IT super hero. They can fix any computer problem but can also disable any given computer. Henry has a problem with relationships and relating with people.

Henry is managed by 51nikopol

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Griss
(R2) vs Kayla

060. FIGHTER: <character entry 5> - MANAGER: Green_Hilltop

<character entry 5> is a book-lover and hits people with a book over their heads when talking them down peacefully and finding a solution that is just and right doesn't work out. The weakness is acid that melts bones.

<character entry 5> is managed by Green_Hilltop

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Tobi

061 - 070

061. FIGHTER: Lifthrasil - MANAGER: Lifthrasil

Lifthrasil is always armed. Four-armed, in fact. (a slight magic accident). He's a barbarian and fights with humongous weapons that he wields with ease. Either oversized swords or an even more oversized hammer. In close quarters he is neigh unbeatable and due to his toughness he shrugs off most arrows and bolts with ease. Or puny things like fireballs. Or other ranged attacks. Unless they are delivered by siegen weapons - but only cowards use those!
His biggest strength, however, is that he is blessed by the gods to be a weapon against demonkind. Against all demons he goes into a holy rage that doesn't end until all demons are vanquished.
But he has weaknesses. One weakness is drink. He is unable to resist a good cask of meade or ale or stronger stuff. Also he is weak against mind magic and mathematics, since his mind isn't really the sharpest. And, if not on the battle field, he is putty in the hands of a fair damsel and there has been more than one who drained his considerable treasure without him noticing. He is happy as long as the lady that accompanies him is happy too.

Lifthrasil is his own manager

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs The Bard

062. FIGHTER: Borzoi - MANAGER: artaion

Borzoi is a dwarven sun soul monk, he wears a purple robe and his hair is shaved with a full beard half his height long, he hits hard with his fists and also can release searing bolts of magical radiance.



His weaknenss is that he is easily hit, because he's not that dextrous and doesn't wear armor.
""I'm in this fight for honour and glory ! (and if there is any prize money my monastery needs renovations...)""

Borzoi is managed by artaion

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Matilda Zendias
(R2) vs Lemmy

063. FIGHTER: King Nev - MANAGER: nevarRed

King Nev is a loving giant from Norway with beautiful blue eyes who is able to charm anyone. On Fridays, he likes to find mysteries to solve like his heroes The Hardy Boys. His only weakness is anchovies.

King Nev is managed by nevarRed

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Mr. Chip

064. FIGHTER: Hazaradam - MANAGER: babark

The legend of Hazaradam:

Zigm came from a long line of expert wood craftsmen. When her husband was press-ganged into service for the local warlord, he subsequently died in a pointless raid into the neighbouring kingdom. Later the local warlord sent soldiers to recruit more front-line fodder, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back for her. She set up at the pass near her town.



She slaughtered 460 men with boulder traps, 250 were caught in the pits she had prepared after. A further 160 died when she lit the pitch they had to scramble across, She felled a further 60 using every arrow in her quiver, 33 with her spear and sword, and 4 with pure rage. It was one of these 4 that blinded her in one eye, and then mortally(?) wounded her.

She was able to make her way off the battlefield and died(?) in an unknown location, creating the story of Hazaradam, or ""One Thousand Men"". Aside from her hometown, most people don't believe this story, suspecting rather that her town mounted a successful defense.

Hazaradam is managed by babark

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Joseph Rue Ella
(R2) vs Cicada Buzz
BATTLE ROYALE
(R3) 9th to enter the ring (stage 3) - Defeated by Katmeleonpus (stage 3) - Total dice rolls: 2

065. FIGHTER: Peagor - MANAGER: Themken

Peagor, the son of a PEZ dispenser and a cork gun. A mere 12cm tall but oh my does a certain part of him compensate for that. His strengths are that he is a quick shooter and can fire chick peas and also has an area damage gas he lets out that does some minor damage over time. Drawback is that the constant gassing makes it so that noone wants to be in the same party if they have a sense of smell... Also can easily be lured with syrup or honey as the smell is too much for his senses.

Peagor is managed by Themken

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Cicada Buzz

066. FIGHTER: Vladimir - MANAGER: MarinkoT

Vladimir is a vampire. He can take on the abilities of anyone whose blood he has sampled.

Vladimir is managed by MarinkoT

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Uzerumeral

067. FIGHTER: Ugghh - MANAGER: Ghildrean

Ugghh  is an ancient caveman who can smash anything he doesn't like with his big club. Since he spends his time hunting and smashing things, he is strong and sturdy, but will flee from anything he can't smash, and is not smart enough to try any other plan.

Ugghh is managed by Ghildrean

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Zonk

068. FIGHTER: Koreskrocton - MANAGER: Nicole28

Koreskrocton is a shark melded with a human visage and embossed with the orange and gold flakes of a Djinn. It has the power of steel-like strength, the ability to launch fire and near uncontrollable bloodlust.

Strengths: Able to break wood, steel and many physical objects. Has a sharp ear for physical vibrations on the ground. Ability to shoot medium fireballs in quick succession.

Weakness: A combination of heat and blood can cause the character to go into bloodlust and lose their senses. Prismatic shards does more damage to this character.

Koreskrocton is managed by Nicole28

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Jack the Knack

069. FIGHTER: Circuit - MANAGER: Tallima

Circuit was an electrical engineer who was, unfortunately, being electrocuted to death at the moment that the sinister Steam (a villain made of Steam) created a radioactive beam in his direction that turned him into electricity. He doesn’t remember his old life, but since then, he’s dedicated his life to stopping Steam.

His powers:
Electrical shields
Electroblast
Lightning-fast motion and reflexes
He heals and grows with access to the electric grid

His weaknesses:
Bad long-term memory
Positively charged objects

Circuit is managed by Tallima

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs 010110101001010101011101

070. FIGHTER: Random John Doe - MANAGER: Gede

Random John Doe is a regular geek and actually signed in because he thought it would be a virtual competition, you know, you press buttons and do combos. So he is totally unprepared, shaking his knees and about to hyperventilate.
Hopefully he can blend in with the crowd and get away from this crazy place. If he can't, maybe he'll just play dead.
His weakness is a pretty girl. When he sees one, he gets mesmerized and his instincts of self-preservation go away, so he has bumped into numerous trees, light poles, traffic lights and parked cars when staring at one.

Random John Doe is managed by Gede

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Eiden

071 - 080

071. FIGHTER: Mr. Chip - MANAGER: kmcoolice

(click to enlarge)

Mr. Chip is a little and cute dachshund doggy. With his bark and waggly tail, he can melt all hardened living hearts, and put big smile on your face everytime. That's why enemies are weak against him. Only one weakness wiener-dog has - he is always hungry. No matter how much you give him food, his belly is not full.

Mr. Chip is managed by kmcoolice

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs King Nev
(R2) vs Jason "Jennifer" Lee

072. FIGHTER: Katmeleonpus - MANAGER: krugos2

Katmeleonpus has the head and torso of a Siamese cat, with the eight tentacles of an octopus for legs and the tail and tongue of a chameleon.



She can spit ink, she can change colors to express her mood and as camouflage (a skill she got from both her octopus and chameleon genes), she can climb walls or stick to things using her tentacle suckers, she can hiss and meow, she can catch flies and other tasty snacks with her elastic tongue, she's small but mean and she likes to sleep all day. Her name is Katmeleonpus. May she spit ink and hairballs on the corpses of her enemies.

Katmeleonpus is managed by krugos2

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Nevaro
(R2) vs Osen
BATTLE ROYALE
(R3) 10th to enter the ring (stage 3) - Defeated by Jack the Knack (stage 3) - Total dice rolls: 2

073. FIGHTER: Michael Mustache - MANAGER: AWG43

Michael Mustache is a famous boxer among the Whole Universe. He can one-punch knockout an elephant. So do your stakes and make a count, ladies and gentlemen! :)

Michael Mustache is managed by AWG43

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Axela the lighthouse

074. FIGHTER: Quicktongue the Bard - MANAGER: ConsulCaesar

Quicktongue the Bard is a troubadour who loves writing poetry as much as a good fight. His brain is the most dangerous part of his body. Reading and singing is part of his training routine. He has studied the lore and folklore all across the realm to learn the ancient secrets of martial arts. His arrival at a court announces a wave of ballads and broken bones.

Strengths:
* Proficient at insult swordfighting.
* Able to use a quill as a deadly weapon.
* Advanced dance moves that are transferable to life or death situations.

Weaknesses:
* Wears very light armor.
* Tendency to chew more than he can bite.
* Pronouncing names with several apostrophes.

Quicktongue the Bard is managed by ConsulCaesar

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs stealth arrow
(R2) vs Ooblex the Gooblex

075. FIGHTER: Mina - MANAGER: RickyAndersen

Mina Han is a 21 year old from Windy Village.

Title: Iron Stomach
Weapon: Meat Tenderizer
Magic: Whirlwind
Talent: Tardiness, some people call it a weakness but I call it talent.

Mina is managed by RickyAndersen

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Metälingus
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs Stamat

076. FIGHTER: Calad - MANAGER: Cavalary

Calad is a still quite young but nevertheless white-haired sorcerer, dressed in blue and white with a tint of grey which may or may not be a result of the clothes being quite worn and not particularly clean after all the recent walking and adventuring.

Somewhat unusually for one of his profession, he carries a sword and a shield and can put them to decent use, obviously not when facing skilled fighters, when he may at best hope to defect a couple of blows to gain time for that spell that may save the day, but mainly when magic is either unnecessary or too expected, so this would create an element of surprise. Physically, he shows an endurance that may also be somewhat unusual for one of his profession, but otherwise is of pretty average strength and even a bit clumsy. However, his superpower of modest regeneration complements his tendency to stay in lengthy battles, outlasting foes, and even fight up close more often than it'd be wise, as minor injuries heal quickly and even more serious ones can heal if he can keep himself safe from further harm for a little while. For this reason, while he's considerably powerful in his sorcery, he tends to focus more on spells that keep him safe, hidden or protected, stun, hinder, weaken or confuse enemies, compensate for his physical weaknesses and otherwise allow him to better use his preferred strategy of careful planning and outlasting. Unfortunately, that strategy is also necessary, as he tends to panic when needing to think quickly, facing unexpected situations he can't escape at least long enough to form a proper plan.



He does also know a handful of powerful spells that more directly harm or may downright kill enemies, but prefers to only use them as last resort and using them tends to negatively affect his state of mind, so he usually needs some time to recover after doing so, otherwise preferring either the unflattering but efficient strategy of staying out of reach while repeatedly blasting his foes with small ice daggers, spurts of acid or ear-splitting localized sound blasts from his valuable wands than never wear out, or closing in for direct combat with foes that either are sufficiently weak or have been sufficiently weakened by his magic.

Previous adventures of Calad can be found here: Enter my dungeon if you dare... Eastern tunnel.

Calad is managed by Cavalary

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Og'rialt
Voted back into the tournament.
(R2) vs Mr. Fluffy Death

077. FIGHTER: Powerbomb - MANAGER: cardangrille

Powerbomb is a pro wrestler that is dressed up as your typical bomb. The thing is though, he really IS a bomb. If he grabs you, he will explode, but he always reconstitutes, and you don't. His weakness is if he's scripted to lose, then he'll lose, or he simply just can't grab hold of you.
Powerbomb is managed by cardangrille

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Kyp
(R2) vs Eiden

078. FIGHTER: Lyron - MANAGER: LiefLayer

Lyron is a long-time gambler who is now banned from all casinos, he constantly disguises himself in order to continue playing.
His luck is so great that he is never discovered, if he is shot they always miss him, if someone throws a punch he ends up hitting himself.
There is only a problem... He is not able to save much money, he always spends it on women and alcohol.
And every time he drinks he becomes extremely unlucky enough to find himself on the verge of dying every time.

Power: Luck

Lyron is managed by LiefLayer

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs SubSub

079. FIGHTER: Kirthal - MANAGER: briareoushex

Kirthal is a firedrake. Its abilities are hitting with its claws, charge, slam, dive, tail swipe. Its special power is fire breath. Also its immune to fire magic and have high resistance to physical melee and ranged attacks. Its weakness is ice magic.

Kirthal is managed by briareoushex

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Tim
(R2) vs The Bard

080. FIGHTER: Griss - MANAGER: Alexim

He's a Velociraptor who was abducted by an alien spacecraft millions of years ago and subjected to all sorts of biological experiments, which made him develop a human-level intelligence and telekinetic powers.

In addition to his natural abilities he's a master of infiltration and a skilled assassin, and he has sworn revenge for what he had to endure. His weakness is the ultrasounds that disturb his hyper hearing and for some reason he can't stand pineapple on pizza.

Griss is managed by Alexim

FIGHT CLUB
(R1) vs Henry

081 - 090

091 - 100

101 - 114

THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS... GIVEAWAY!
The original thread at the GOG forums

THE TOURNAMENT OF ALL TOURNAMENTS
Spreadsheet by TheDudeLebowski

FIGHT CLUB GIVEAWAY ENTRANTS
Spreadsheet by Carradice



This page is a collaborative effort by TheDudeLebowski, Carradice and krugos2